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Original poster

Going to the school to see my girls

662 replies

Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 13:50

DD2 and DD3 ... The school have told me that they will have to inform ex I am going because they are aware the girls have been staying with him. Despite me having the court order to say they live with me. He's not even on their bloody birth certificates !
That can't be right surely ?
If he's there I'm just going to say hi and walk off ...

OP posts:
Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 18:47

LIZS no sadly I trusted my ex husband would do the right thing and when we died the house was split 4 ways. We weren't married when the girls were born. He has to apply for PR but it doesn't seem to matter anyway

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Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 18:50

I've made the typical school girl errors of spending every penny I ever got on the kids whilst he lined his pension and had the house in his name. Any savings went on the kids whilst he literally walked out and left us in the middle of Australia with no entitlements to benefits, not even able to use food banks without a centrelink card as they call it there.
None of that will count for shit when we get to court

OP posts:
PigletWasPoohsFriend · 07/12/2016 18:51

Get DS and DD and I back where we are loved and supported

So you are planning on going to Australia without your other DC Hmm

What support do you have their exactly.

LIZS · 07/12/2016 18:51

If he has a pension you can claim on it as part of the settlement . Sounds like dd1 f is providing.

HoridHenryrules · 07/12/2016 18:54

You are still entitled to half because you were married and had children together. He thinks he's clever but he is not.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 18:55

That was all agreed I was to half the pension and the house to house the kids. I bet it's not signed now, as I say what a coincidence his mother was fuming I was getting anything

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Manumission · 07/12/2016 18:58

So you think he won't sign, that you'll have to renegotiate and so you're going to hold out for thirds each for you, him and DD1. Got it.

So you can't leave the country soon then.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 19:00

Not soon no.
I think I have actually caught him out though because in order to keep the girls he'll have to admit to co habit ing - he claimed to be living with his mother in her sheltered accommodation which we all knew was bullshit but I let it go ... I still need the whole house for DD1, DS and the girls to visit

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HoridHenryrules · 07/12/2016 19:00

A judge will laugh at him in court if I was you I would get your children back and start looking for people to help you. Who you can trust.

Veggiesupremeextracheese · 07/12/2016 19:02

What does your son and other daughter make of all this?

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 19:04

HoridHenryrules that was the plan. I've been in such a bad way I did post stuff on FB about what was going on and the support from friends in both Australia and where we used to live in the uk has been great, all saying come back you should never have gone to where you did in the first place - another long story but up north or Australia both are better options than where we are.
The solicitor I had in January wanted to nail him so he never saw the kids again, I felt that was wrong. Another hard lesson learnt

OP posts:
Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 19:05

Veggiesupremeextracheese - dd1 just wants to pass her GCSEs and DS just wants to play Pokemon and that's exactly how it should be isn't it

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NotStoppedAllDay · 07/12/2016 19:06

You didn't answer..... who is in Australia to support you all?

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 19:07

Thanks to those who've kept talking btw. I've had 10 fags and a banana and I do feel better I was going to take a hammer to his head at 3.30pm

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Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 19:15

NotStoppedAllDay - I have lots of friends there and could afford childcare that I can't here that allowed me to work

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LIZS · 07/12/2016 19:20

and dd2 & 3 , are you taking into account what they want and what is in their best interests? Is having a mum who shipped out without them really a good long term move if you hope to have an ongoing relationship with them.

HoridHenryrules · 07/12/2016 19:21

Good luck Op be strong for children and never give up. Flowers

Manumission · 07/12/2016 19:24

Yes good luck.

Do think about the GP idea. You're under massive stress. ADs can be marvellous. Even better than 10 fags and a banana Grin

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 19:26

LIZS knowing them I think DD2 will follow if I say I'm getting on a plane when it comes to it she'll come. DD3 and I are fucked tbh throughout all this she's just wanted her dad, no matter what

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ElspethFlashman · 07/12/2016 19:28

But didn't you insist that DD2 stayed with her Dad this week to take care of DD3?

You think she'd leave her behind?

wheelwithinawheel · 07/12/2016 19:28

Seriously, you need to Grow. The. Fuck. Up. Start acting responsibly and not from a place of lashing out and selfishness. Some very good advice on this tread and I have thing to add. Just please, stop and THINK.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 19:29

ElspethFlashman she's already wobbling, she and I are the closest

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LostMySanityCanIBorrowYours · 07/12/2016 19:31

Do think about the GP idea. You're under massive stress. ADs can be marvellous. Even better than 10 fags and a banana

I dunno, fags are pretty great, to be fair. Not usre about the banana, mind you Grin

Seriously though, OP, have a chat to your GP. There's no shame in asking for help.

I hope things work out for you and your kids.

LIZS · 07/12/2016 19:32

You are really prepared to right off a 12 yo and leave her to whatever fate ?Shock have you considered counselling, for all of you?

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 19:34

wheelwithinawheel that just makes me laugh, I've done nothing but be the grown up since all this started. I was the one that stayed with the kids no matter what.
The boyfriend thing, fucking hell I left the love of my life in Australia to come back with the kids because I thought that was the right thing to do for them and Jesus look at it. I've tried over and over to draw a line under it, paid for every court application when he wouldn't, lived in bedsits to get them into good schools, got fucking sacked because missy's drama class was more important to me. It's pretty galling to be told I haven't put them first

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