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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Going to the school to see my girls

662 replies

Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 13:50

DD2 and DD3 ... The school have told me that they will have to inform ex I am going because they are aware the girls have been staying with him. Despite me having the court order to say they live with me. He's not even on their bloody birth certificates !
That can't be right surely ?
If he's there I'm just going to say hi and walk off ...

OP posts:
Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 18:10

I also can't help but wonder if it's a co incidence the week the financial's of the divorce giving me the house and half his pension was due to be signed he's decided to be a dad after all this time

OP posts:
HoridHenryrules · 07/12/2016 18:14

Op you need to let go you hurt him in his pocket. Let it go. Your daughters will never feel the same as you. You made him homeless and now he has to prostitute him self to keep a roof over his head. I would be happy with what you have got and try and work together some how.

CremeBrulee · 07/12/2016 18:15

Don't be ridiculous, moving two of your four children back to Australia is crazy behaviour. Can you really not see that?

Rational people don't huff off to another continent and wait to be able to say 'I told you so' to their teen daughters.

You need to provide a calm, stable home for all your DC.

Once again, please see your GP and help stabilising your behaviour patterns.

MNHQ
KatherineMumsnet · 07/12/2016 18:16

Hi OP,

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - here.

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Sorry for hijacking your thread Pisssssedofff, and we really hope things start to look up for you soon. Flowers

Manumission · 07/12/2016 18:16

Is it that you're just so shattered that going to where the support is is the only thing you can think of?

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 18:17

HoridHenryrules - he hasn't signed so I bet you anything that's all off the table now and the one who ends up homeless will be me and DD1 - who's child support money for the last 16 years funded his lifestyle, the other girls private schooling and paid his mortgage

OP posts:
CremeBrulee · 07/12/2016 18:19

How will DD1 be homeless - you said she had moved out into her own flat up thread?

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 18:20

DD1 hasn't moved out at all.

OP posts:
TupsNSups · 07/12/2016 18:21

You used your dd1's child maintenence to fund your other girls private school?

No wonder your eldest is rebelling. Please seek real life help.

I'm out now before I get myself banned.

HoridHenryrules · 07/12/2016 18:22

I would fight a judge will never make you homeless. He may want the house sold and he take half and so do you. I would keep 1 step ahead of him and find someone to talk to who can help. It could be a friend who you can speak to now and then for support.

Iamdobby63 · 07/12/2016 18:23

Really, you get that much child support for DS1? It pays all their private school and the mortgage?

HoridHenryrules · 07/12/2016 18:24

Is DD1 his child or does she have another Dad?

Sorry for asking.

Manumission · 07/12/2016 18:24

So there is some - really hefty - CM paid in respect of DD1 that has been financing the whole family really?

OP get family therapy for all of you. Quickly.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 18:25

TupsNSups my eldest daughter wouldn't want an private education whilst her sisters went elsewhere, she would want the same for all of them she's not a little bitch that expected her money to be spent on her, it's family money. But equally she certainly wouldn't want him to have it

OP posts:
HoridHenryrules · 07/12/2016 18:26

He could have been a rich man and he paid good child maintenance. You never know.

NotStoppedAllDay · 07/12/2016 18:26

Going back to Australia to be 'loved and supported'..... by whom?

Manumission · 07/12/2016 18:27

But he openly "hates" her (and maybe denigrates her to her siblings) while living on her CM?

That's all kinds of fucked up.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 18:27

DD1 is not his and I will have to fight for her because actually the house should be split 1/3, 1/3 and 1/3 tbh with DD recouping something. That was my plan to buy her property with the proceeds so she had something to show for it. Her bio dad would go batshit if he knew

OP posts:
Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 18:30

Manumission - that's the jist - he hasn't paid the mortgage on the house since 2009, we only still have it because I used DD1's money to pay the arrears.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 18:36

I could write a book about that man and do know what you probably wouldn't believe it. Big you saw it on east Enders you'd think they'd gone too far with the story line

OP posts:
MrsPeelyWally · 07/12/2016 18:36

How will DD1 be homeless - you said she had moved out into her own flat up thread?

I thought the same.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 18:39

I did not say she had moved out.

OP posts:
Goingtobeawesome · 07/12/2016 18:39

Some horrible comments about your own child Sad.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 18:41

Goingtobeawesome - I think you've misunderstood tbh

OP posts:
LIZS · 07/12/2016 18:45

A minor can't own property as such so hope you had some legal agreement drawn up when you purchased it and took out the mortgage. Do all dc have British passports and were they born here or Australia. Might ex not be assumed to have pr if you were married?