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Original poster

Going to the school to see my girls

662 replies

Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 13:50

DD2 and DD3 ... The school have told me that they will have to inform ex I am going because they are aware the girls have been staying with him. Despite me having the court order to say they live with me. He's not even on their bloody birth certificates !
That can't be right surely ?
If he's there I'm just going to say hi and walk off ...

OP posts:
Gazelda · 07/12/2016 17:25

OP, I'm aware that I'm potentially opening a can of worms here, but what sort of upbringing did you have? Stable, i.e. In one home with at least one constant parent? Or erratic, moving from place to place, irregular contact with a parent?
What do you think is best for each of your children (as individuals)? Do you think they've been affected by their upbringing? Are there any agencies or organisations you see as having the DC's best interests at heart who you trust to be advocated for them?

HoopsandEverything · 07/12/2016 17:26

PollytheDolly I suggested calling the police way back. The OP doesn't want to though, which is making me highly suspicious.

If this man has no parental rights, the police would have to intervene (as it would be kidnapping, or whatever the technical term is for not returning children to their parent).

Graphista · 07/12/2016 17:28

Police really wouldn't get involved. As there's a contact order in place that would make it a civil matter as far as they're concerned as a court has effectively ignored the lack of official PR.

AyeAmarok · 07/12/2016 17:28

OP, you sound a bit all over the place. Perhaps take a step back and let things settle, see what it is you want, what is best for the DC, and take it from there.

And maybe take a break from MN, I don't think these threads are helping you.

MrsPeelyWally · 07/12/2016 17:31

which is making me highly suspicious.

The children are being punished for being kids and for liking being with their dad. The OP will not have them back till they've learned their lesson and thank her a million and one times by going home, being grateful, and complying.

angryangryyoungwoman · 07/12/2016 17:37

I posted on your last thread, I think you may be ill, you are certainly coming across as unstable. If you truly care about your children, you need to seek help for them and you. You have children and you are responsible for their welfare. You are a negative influence at the moment and you need to sort it out. If you are a troll however, shame on you.

ElspethFlashman · 07/12/2016 17:38

I agree 100%.

The message I'm getting is "How could they be so ungrateful after all I've done for them, the brats - fuck 'em, they'll rue the day and I'll be long gone to Australia"

BumDNC · 07/12/2016 17:45

I'm getting that this is revenge on the ex

He can't return them

BringMeTea · 07/12/2016 17:46

Pretty sure OP is NOT a troll. Someone in need of some support sure. Flowers. Hope you manage to get a handle on things soon.

Goingtobeawesome · 07/12/2016 17:48

Maybe the 12 year old is as she is because her treats her s badly. She's craving his love and approval.

HoridHenryrules · 07/12/2016 17:48

There are women out there worse than the op. I had a friend back in school who's mum put her in care at 14. She went looking for her dad after that. The mum wanted her life back so she could have boyfriends.

I do think the op hates being a single parent. I remember on one thread she posted about staying with your partner no matter if he's dick or not because on your own its tough. As long as he don't abuse you.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 17:50

Graphista - my dating adventures are you serious ? My ex screamed at her he hated her and was out the door that day. My children have met one boyfriend whom the 12 year walked into the kitchen whilst we were both fully clothed I might add and announced to him he could stay but we weren't to have sex, needless to say he left and wasn't seen again. To suggest they've ever come 2nd to anyone is insulting beyond belief ! Interestingly dads new girlfriends are fine though.

OP posts:
UnbornMortificado · 07/12/2016 17:51

Pissss I really hope you get some help.

This thread should really be deleted it's uncomfortable to read.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 17:54

LIZS why do you think I went to the school today, so they know I'm there if they need me. I'm not going down the whole childhood thing but my mum had pnd, battered the life out of me then to avoid prosecution didn't bother objecting when I was placed with my dad who also battered the life out of me. I don't speak to her now or him and the fact that I don't have a family is being used by ex as another radon I shouldn't have the kids. If I start mouthing off to SS or anyone else about what he's done there is a chance neither of us will have them and I cannot risk that

OP posts:
Manumission · 07/12/2016 17:56

Piss you sound as though you're having those slightly desperate ping-pong decision making thought processes that happen when someone is stressed beyond endurance.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 17:58

Manumission - I don't see that I have decisions to make quite frankly

OP posts:
Graphista · 07/12/2016 18:00

You put your emotional energy (which you seem to be struggling to have enough of) into finding another partner rather than establishing a stable home for your kids and getting them the help they clearly desperately need.

I'm sorry you had a shit childhood, some of us do unfortunately and I hope you and the children get the help and support needed but I'm out.

Manumission · 07/12/2016 18:02

You decided to visit your DDs at school. You've been quite firm in your decision not to gelt legal help. And there will be more decisions to make about contact.

Then there's the decision about going back to Australia. Or not.

Still a lot of decisions to come if you think about it.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 18:02

Those kids have had the best of everything since the day they were born and he's treated all of us like crsp for years. Got his mother to babysit them so he could fuck some tart in a hotel room.

They'll either work it out for themselves or not I guess

OP posts:
Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 18:03

Graphista - again I find that utterly insulting. I never had one date until the kids could be left with their father, certainly never left them with babysitter so I could go off galavanting.

OP posts:
HoridHenryrules · 07/12/2016 18:04

You have a court order remember that. If you feel the best thing to do is leave them their for a week to clear the air. If he doesn't have parental responsibility then you have to get them.

Manumission · 07/12/2016 18:05

They'll either work it out for themselves or not I guess

It's not so much a "whodunnit" as an emotional soup they're swimming in, though.

Their dad's a selfish, womanising arse. Their mum is stressed silly. They still need you. And I bet they're worried about you.

Don't take what teens and teens SAY to be what they mean.

Original poster
Pisssssedofff · 07/12/2016 18:08

Manumission again I do know that I really do I haven't said don't darken my door again and I never would. The best thing I can do for them now is get my shit together. Get DS and DD and I back where we are loved and supported and wait for the lure of tanned teen boys and BBQ's to be too much for hormonal little super models to resist I guess.

OP posts:
Manumission · 07/12/2016 18:09

Australia? You think that will work?

ElspethFlashman · 07/12/2016 18:10

Wow.

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