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Original poster

There is going to be a convicted peadophile at BIL's wedding

132 replies

FoghornLeghorn · 16/02/2007 10:28

BIL is getting married in the summer, his fiancé's uncle is going to be there but at the minute he is serving a sentence for abusing his own children.
I don't know what sentence he recieved or how long it was for but I do know the basics of what allegidly happened as BIL's fiancé is a close friend and she confided in me when the court cse was going on.

Her family genuinely believe he is innocent and the children are lying about everything.

I never liked the man before I knew about any of this and now it is making me feel extremely uncomfortable about attending the wedding.
I don't know whether he did what he was accused of or not but it makes me feel very uneasy knowing he is going to be in close proximity to my children and alot of others. I know it is irrational as it is quite unlikely he would abuse anyone's child there and then but I just don't like it.

What would your thought be in my situation?

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 16/02/2007 10:28

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FluffyMummy123 · 16/02/2007 10:29

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NotQuiteCockney · 16/02/2007 10:30

I would be unhappy and uncomfortable, but I don't think I'd do anything about it. As you say, there is no practical risk. It is all a bit worrisome, all the same.

Why does the family think he is innocent? What a mess.

Cowardice · 16/02/2007 10:30

Will he be out in time to go to the wedding?

I'm not sure what I would do. I would be inclined to stay at home if I'm being entirely honest.

nailpolish · 16/02/2007 10:37

i dotn think i would go to the wedding tbh

Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 16/02/2007 10:40

Cod, I'm not entirely sure, although 6 years is ringing bells. 6 years doesn't seem alot to me for someone accused of abusing children but then I don't know the ins and outs - maybe he got convicted but not for everything they were trying to put on him.

NQC - the family think he is innocent because he is their uncle/brother. They all protest there is no way he could've done something like that but IMO there must be something in it for him to be convicted.

Cowardice - I don't think it is definite he will be out but there is a strong possibility with a shortened sentence I think

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 16/02/2007 10:42

No, I wouldn't go. And if people asked why, I'd tell them the truth.

He was proven guilty. Or plead guilty.

nogoes · 16/02/2007 10:42

I wouldn't be worried for my childrens safety but I know I would be uptight and would want to prick forks into his head. If it is your bil's wedding I think I would still go though because I would not want to cause ill feeling at a time when everyone is supposed to be happy.

FioFio · 16/02/2007 10:43

This reply has been deleted

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fortyplus · 16/02/2007 10:43

I would go. If you make an issue of it by staying away you will create a family rift.

Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 16/02/2007 10:43

It's DH's brother though, how could we not go ? BIL is so unhappy about it, he tried to say he would prefer uncle not to be there but they all just ignore him and say the uncle has done nothing wrong.
There aren't many people who know about him being prison, it is a pretty well kept secret.
I think people have the right to know who they are associating with and who their children are in the company of

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 16/02/2007 10:43

God I hate the whole 'he could never have done X' mentality. That would worry me more than the fact he's at the wedding.

Does your BIL's fiance think he is innocent too?

expatinscotland · 16/02/2007 10:44

If uncle had done nothing wrong he wouldn't be banged up just now for child abuse.

Duh.

Paedos are calculating, manipulative liars.

No chance I'd be around that.

FluffyMummy123 · 16/02/2007 10:45

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expatinscotland · 16/02/2007 10:46

Same thing, IMO, cod. People who download kiddie porn feed demand for the abuse of children.

NotQuiteCockney · 16/02/2007 10:46

OP says 'for abusing his own children', cod. Family think the children are lying about everything. So no, real abuse, not virtual.

I have a half-brother who was convicted of child abuse. Everyone decided my niece was lying. (Ok, not everyone, not my bit of the family.)

FluffyMummy123 · 16/02/2007 10:46

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FluffyMummy123 · 16/02/2007 10:47

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expatinscotland · 16/02/2007 10:47

I'll bet that made your niece feel great, NQC.

unknownrebelbang · 16/02/2007 10:47

Will his children be at the wedding?

expatinscotland · 16/02/2007 10:47

Sorry, but I've got zero tolerance for convicted paedos.

FluffyMummy123 · 16/02/2007 10:47

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nailpolish · 16/02/2007 10:48

so are "his own children" going ot be at the wedding too?

the OP syas "convicted" so therefore im my eyes he is guilty

i DEFINITELY wouldnt be there, the more i thik about it the more i know this for sure

even if just in support of his children, poor things

NotQuiteCockney · 16/02/2007 10:48

My niece went on to be a prostitute and then die of an OD. I don't think everyone believing she made up her abuse made her feel very good, no.

Cowardice · 16/02/2007 10:49

What do the family think the children have to gain by lying? I really can't understand that. What about the mother? Does she believe her own children?