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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is this relationship doomed?

126 replies

ringaling · 27/11/2016 14:47

Really really early days.
Been together 2 months now.
He lives 30 mins drive from me and is 31 with 1 child who is 11.
So far I see him twice a week Monday and Thursday.
I don't see him weekends as he has his son and it's still early days.
The thing is I don't think even after a while we can ever do anything together at weekends.
We both work Monday to Friday from 8 till 6.
The first few weeks we were going out for meals etc.
Now he says he is skint and would prefer to just come to mine.
So he gets to mine for 7.30-8pm then by 10.30 he is asleep.
Is it bad I want to go out for tea or just shopping or anything really.
Can it work?
Also he seems slightly lazy always in bed and he is on his phone on Facebook and that's even when he is with me.

OP posts:
IMurderedStampyLongnose · 27/11/2016 14:50

Run!way too early days for this behaviour.You obviously think that too or you wouldn't have posted.

TurnipCake · 27/11/2016 14:51

If he's this dull early on, it's unlikely to get any better. At least you know now before getting too emotionally involved

Ragwort · 27/11/2016 14:52

So basically he is visiting you for a (free) meal and sex ................... ?

And even though he only allows you 2 hours of his time he is still using Facebook during those two hours? Hmm

Get rid. Now.

jules179 · 27/11/2016 14:53

2 months in is very early for him to be this boring. Why does he have his child every weekend?

Marmalade85 · 27/11/2016 14:54

Run, run, run.

Finola1step · 27/11/2016 14:54

Ditch.

Original poster
ringaling · 27/11/2016 14:55

He came over Thursday but no sex as he fell asleep and we went halfs for a Chinese.
He has his son from 5pm Friday to 5pm Sunday ..the first few weeks was fun but now it's like we are a old married couple.
He says he prefers staying in to going out ..probably because he can lie down and sit on Facebook.

OP posts:
ElspethFlashman · 27/11/2016 14:58

Christ, it sounds shit.

Dump. There are far more interesting guys out there than this dullard.

Ragwort · 27/11/2016 14:59

What are his good points Hmm?

justdontevenfuckingstart · 27/11/2016 15:00

This sounds utterly pointless op. Knock it on the head and get back out there and find someone else.

Allovertheworld16 · 27/11/2016 15:00

God what's the point in that?

I bet he would be the same on weekends even if he didn't have his son.

expatinscotland · 27/11/2016 15:01

FFS! What a loser. Bin now. He comes over to doss on your bed, get a meal and go on his phone. What a catch! Of course he prefers staying in, he's a lazy fucker.

Original poster
ringaling · 27/11/2016 15:01

Honestly the first month was great,we went all over and now it's just blah.
I do like him so I don't want to be hasty..should I suggest maybe going for a meal?
Then again I always suggest things..tomorrow he said il come over after work,I want to go to the Christmas markets and Ice skating but he isn't keen..

OP posts:
cottencandy55 · 27/11/2016 15:02

I wouldn't be happy with this so early on should still be fun actually even after years should still be fun . I would call it a day.

Original poster
ringaling · 27/11/2016 15:02

I've just text him asking what he is up too and he is in bed ...I think his son might already be home.
We could be somewhere now..so frustrating

OP posts:
Original poster
ringaling · 27/11/2016 15:04

I love doing things,going out.
Not even spending money just stupid things like driving to a nice little village and have some lunch etc but I don't think he is into that.
Shall I give it till after Christmas and see if he gets some life back into him?

OP posts:
eggyface · 27/11/2016 15:04

Why shouldn't he have his child every weekend?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 27/11/2016 15:05

Honestly what do you get out of this so called relationship?

Why is your relationship bar so very low to begin with if you have accepted this to date?

You seem to be trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

The man needs to be ditched; if this is what it is like after a couple of months then its not going to get any better.

Allovertheworld16 · 27/11/2016 15:05

I've had one marriage and one long relationship with men who didn't want to do anything. I would rather be stuck in on my own than do that again. I don't think you're compatible op.

Original poster
ringaling · 27/11/2016 15:05

I never said he shouldn't Confused

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 27/11/2016 15:05

'I do like him so I don't want to be hasty..should I suggest maybe going for a meal?
Then again I always suggest things..tomorrow he said il come over after work,I want to go to the Christmas markets and Ice skating but he isn't keen..'

You're flogging a dead horse! This is who he is. He doesn't want to go to the markets or ice skating, and you'd be a fool to put those aside to couch this dosser in your bed on his phone.

Original poster
ringaling · 27/11/2016 15:07

I thought maybe I'm expecting too much ..don't get me wrong I know yo can't go out all the time.
Maybe it's nice to stay in and get to know each other better ..without giving tmi even sex he likes me to do all the work

OP posts:
Wonkydonkey44 · 27/11/2016 15:11

Dump dump dump ! It's not going to get any better , time to move on x

MsGameandWatch · 27/11/2016 15:17

Well now you know why he's single. If I can't even muster up enthusiasm to get out and about with you this early on what do you think it will be like in a year or two. You're basically getting nothing out of knowing this person, where is the reason to continue? Confused

ChuckGravestones · 27/11/2016 15:18

What's the point?