DRY 16

[vxa2]

If you're quitting alcohol for a brighter sober future come and join us here. A very welcoming bunch supporting each other every step of the way.

Link to Dry 15

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2726334-Dry-15?msgid=65047780#65047780

BGJ - big slap on the back! Congrats at going and getting it out.

Friends and family - do you think they poss already realise and making it formal will come as noooo surprise at all? And they will be ideally pleased for you? Anyone who takes a sniffy reaction need to have a look at themselves, imo. Again, well done!
And I think I know what you mean by wanting to get away from the lies. I'd been so good at hiding my degree of consumption ( I think) that I owe it to myself to be up front and honest and destroy this creaking scaffolding that had been used to shore up an edifice.

Off work today with this raging head cold. But I am on day 9. Yep, day 9.

Just so I can write it fully. 9 days with neither alcohol nor nicotine in any form. Physically feel a wreck, but in every other way I am shinning.

BGJ I don't think you need to explain to anyone if you don't want to. Being honest with ourselves is the most important thing and not having to lie is a bonus

I shall just say 'I'm not drinking thank you' and if asked why I shall say 'because I don't want to' then if pressed 'because it's not good for me'. That should, hopefully, shut that particular topic of conversation down and we can move on to more interesting subjects

Parents would def worry if I just arrived and said I wasn't drinking with no further explanation.... And i think it needs to be out in the open before then, as I will spend a week at Christmas, with Christmas day spent with sister and her in law family... That one i can pull designated driver for!

I think they will be a little relieved - they do joke about me being the life and soul of the party, but they've also had to deal with some fairly shocking behaviour from me when I've had a bucket load of booze...

And on many levels I want it all out in the open, regardless of how hard that seems right now... The trigger for the ever decreasing decline into drunkeness was my divorce 13 years ago, and I still remember the journey north to tell them it was all over.... This actually has a very familiar feel to it somehow, and perhaps might be the end/closure of something - who knows!

More risotto for dinner at work tonight - I am a creature of habit in every way, so time to create some new habits!

Hi everyone. Hoping to join this and get a bit of support/encouragement to stay on track once and for all. Have always drunk too much but over the last year or so it's got out of control. I can easily go a week or so then go on a massive bender, humiliating myself repeatedly, missing work/ going in drunk, losing friends. It needs to stop. Will be checking in here regularly (aiming for every evening!) in the hope that'll keep me on track! Well done everyone posting on here so far. Day 1 for me!

Hi mini welcome. I'm still a newbie myself on Day 10. Think checking in here is a good way to keep yourself on track and also seeing how everyone is is getting on. I had a craving last night but not got that feeling tonight. Think it must come in waves and I need to ride it out so to speak. Hope everyone else has had a good Tuesday 🙂

Minimim, day in e and step one of the journey, welcome aboard - I hope you get plenty from the thread!

BGJ42 - just think you have 26days until Christmas, that's 26 times to take it one day at a time - whether you drink or not Christmas will happen!!!!

Don't worry too much ahead about telling the family, take the day that you go up and deal #with that day as it comes, should that be telling the Family or not......I now what you mean about getting it all out in the open, but unfortunately society hasn't made it very easy for people who have a problem with alcohol - seeing it as a moral failure rather than a medical issue.

User - great that you did a yoga class! I am just about to embark into the world of yoga so looking forward to that :)

Nottoday - WOW 9 days is brilliant!! Absolutely amazing well done you!! For some reason I always found days 3, 10 and 21 hard when quitting something so you may or may not feel the same?? who knows but maybe be especially wary tomorrow?

BGJ what a momentous day for you on so many levels, your journey has started and only you can fully know how you want to deal with that. If it means telling everyone then so be it, all you need to know is everything is your choice, your decision, in your power and nothing will be wrong, however you choose to deal with it. You need to be kind and care for yourself and not beat yourself up about anything or let anyone else beat you up.

Sorry haven't namechecked everyone - we are all doing AMAZINGLY KOKO everyone X

Loubilou09 - I think you might enjoy it

I'm also using yoga to fill some of the gaps... yoga studio on the iphone... starts at just 15 mins so not too onerous to begin with!

Hi
Day 4 here.
All kinds of things kicking off - all pretty minor, just all the practical worries that life can throw at you have all decided to kick off at the same time.

Feeling so tired. Just want to reach out to all of you and say well done, i am reading. can't be very articulate to post though.

I feel awful tonight. I feel like the worst human ever. I shouted at my son and I was so angry. I can't believe I've let him be anxious. Why am I such a failure?

You are not the worst human ever borage. Within reason, it's okay to share emotions such as anger/frustration with our children. It;s part of their education on life. Managed properly ( apology and explanation etc) it isn't a bad thing.
Don't let that be an invitation to hit the bottle and make it worse for all concerned?

Rather bruising call with my friend who knows I was at the docs today... She's at the entirely logical end of the spectrum whilst I tend to be at the emotional end - it makes for a strong relationship, but also misunderstandings at times...

I was asked why I want to take that drink, and it was a question that I couldn't answer, and became increasingly upset at not knowing what the answer should be...

I'm a clever girl (relatively speaking) - i know what I am risking every single time - health, employment, relationships, and yet I can't explain why I risk it all, why I open another bottle knowing that the next day will be filled with self loathing and regret. I know that I will sleep better and function better if I am sober, and yet the pull can be irresistible.... I guess it's not logical and that's perhaps why she is struggling to grasp the concept - it's addictive, it defies reason and logic

Feeling hugely flat tonight, too much introspective I think... Yes, only I can fix this, and it's a lot for one person at the moment... But it has to start somewhere and for now it starts here.

I've used 'faceless' chat before to talk through some deep seated issues and finding this, currently, more cathartic than a face to face group - despite almost everybody encouraging an actual group meeting - I haven't ruled anything out, but have to go at my own pace...

I need a drink, a nice cup of tea.....

I'm not hitting the bottle, but I don't like being in my own skin because I can't forgive myself. I did apologise and we had a huge cuddle and a lovely bedtime. But. I can't sit still. I can't fix this. Thank you for your answer x

BGJ - you never, ever have to answer the question 'why take that drink?' It's an endless cul-de-sac, as it were...
The v best question compared would be 'why do I want to stop taking that drink?' That's easy and you know all those answers.

And imho faceless chats work too. There's less immediate pressure and you can focus on your side of the exchange rather than looking at the bodily reactions of the other person/people. If it's your choice then fab. It's your pace.

borage - try googling self-forgiveness, if you haven't already? It's something we should all do from time to time to remind us.
You aren't a failure nor the worst human being. I'm compiling a list and you're not on it.

BGJ - that sounds like a very challenging conversation - but be kind to yourself, don't beat yourself up about the "why".

Can you share the yoga videos?

I have a whole living room to myself and I'm ready in my stretchy PJs!

Day 2 done. Defrosted the freezer instead of drinking. Put pyjamas on at 8 to stop me going to the shop. Feeling relived another nights over

BGJ and borage sounds like you've both had pretty intense days. I've had a tough one too. BUT the one thing we can control is whether we choose to let it drive us to pour a glass. The knowledge that I'm not letting that happen makes me feel powerful enough to face down anything as long as it involves a cup of tea and a lie down afterwards

Day 10 done - what a brilliant feeling this is. Are you hanging in there with me, sober buddy whatever?

user I have also found yoga a wonderful help and a balm for when my mental health has taken a battering. It's my dream to go on a long yoga retreat somewhere abroad and remote with lots of silence, meditation and wholesome stuff. Maybe I should put money that would normally have been spent on booze towards making it a reality!

Good on you Sharp.

Day 9 gone. 10 tomorrow. Head cold is going, slowly. Left with slight feelings of anxiety and a bit of bewilderment. I think to physiological detoxes have happened. Probs at Day 10 it's more the psychological adjustments are starting?

Home now to prepare for forthcoming business trip... Not sure how much internet access/time I will have, so if I drop off line it's likely more a connectivity issue than anything sinister...

Intense day and discussions, but I think it's what needed...

Yoga is an app on the phone, and no idea if they can be shared, and if they can it will take someone with more tech savvy than me...

2 days AF... twice as many as yesterday.....

Folks in early sobriety there can be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, drink suppresses feelings and becoming sober starts to let those feelings come to the surface - sometimes we just arent that prepared for them coming back the way that they do

Borage you said I can't fix this - you are fixing it, by knot drinking the real you will come out, theres just a bit of a struggle at the minute, if you are drinking then not only are you not fixing it, you are actually damaging it. I know now the way I acted with my son was not good (and DSD too) when I was drinking - I try and make amendsa for that now by being the best dad I can be. I flew to see my daughter in London and apologised....and I will do something with DS to make amends when he is older and a bit more able to understand what was happening. I continue to make amends every day now by not drinking.

Maudlin - why we need the drink? I'm going to say a word on here that isn't mentioned much but we all have issues with drink - could we be alcoholic? I know I am.....Alcoholism gives us a compulsion to drink, it is an addiction similar to drug addiction, in that it can be both physical and mental at the same time, the fact that it is socially acceptable doesn't make it any less addictive

This talk gives a good insight into it

I know its by a preiest but it isn't religous

Its not compulsory to go to meetings.
Lots of us in here don't :)
And lots do :)
I tried a few meetings but they were not for me - however I am still doing well, still sober. 73 days this time around and 300 plus sober days since this time last year. I lapsed a few times in the last year and learnt from the lapses and got back onto sobriety again straight away each time.
I hope 72 days ago was the last time I faced a Day 1, but for now I take each day as it comes and am just glad I stopped when I did.

Morning Day 5 begins & feeling good. Here's to another AF day for all.