DRY 16

[vxa2]

If you're quitting alcohol for a brighter sober future come and join us here. A very welcoming bunch supporting each other every step of the way.

Link to Dry 15

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2726334-Dry-15?msgid=65047780#65047780

Hi cupoftea.

Hi everyone.

Not perfect here. Day 3. Enjoying the winter sunshine.

Welcome cupoftea and BGJ. Good to have you on the thread.
User speaks words of reason.... just focus on the here and now. Don't drink for the next 5 minutes and gradually hours till into days and you break the habit. Get some nice good and soft drink to treat yourself as feeling deprived can lead to cravings. It gets much easier as the days go by x

Welcome cupoftea. When I read you post it was like reading about myself. I am now coming up to 8 months sober - it is the best thing I have ever done. Bloody hard but so worth it.

You will get loads of support here. Keep posting.

I know what you mean about spoiling that part of your life but really it's continuing drinking which would spoil your life. I was heading fast towards something really bad happening. I must have been driving over the limit after the night before. It doesn't bear thinking about what could have happened.

Have you got a partner or friends to support you IRL ?

X

Thanks for the welcome

Yes, DH who drinks and regrets it if he drinks too much. But he's normally able to stop at half a bottle.

Last night he noticed that I wasn't drinking and he asked how long I was stopping for and I said 'for ever'.

Cupoftea, I know what you mean about the forever part, nice to think, but a lot harder to do, I think that is why the ONe day at a time works (well for me anyway)

Re the losing part of your life, I thought that I was doing the same in ending my drinking career, but the truth of the matter is im finding new things to do with my life that don't involve slowly killing myself (that's what I was doing with drink).

Over the weekend I went to dinner and a comedy show, not something I would have done when drinking, it would have been meal and pub

I also am going to try yoga tonight for the first time, and at the minute I am sitting on my sofa watching birds at the bird feeder....and I can do that because I'm not looking at a mess that I should be getting sorted because I lay in bed half the day with a hangover. If you take a quick scan through the threads I put up a very quick list of good things that happen when you stop drinking - not comprehensive by any means, but things that are better than what they were.

I still have my problems, they still bring me to tears (and I'm a male) ....but I know they would seem 1000 times worse if I had a hangover to boot.

Hi BGJ, good luck tomorrow at the doctors. I am in the very early stages of giving up alcohol, but you will get good advice here as everyone st different stages.

That's me finished work for the day and sitting at home thinking about wine but not enough to go and get it. I hate when I get back to this stage, thinking I've done so well not drinking so I deserve a drink. It's a vicious circle at times. Hope everyone else has had a good day so far

Thanks for the good luck wishes...

Feeling oddly detached from it all currently, probably as at work...

Worrying about the silly things - what will my mother say? How will I survive Christmas? Will people judge me? And I know all the answers to these problems already... I suppose it's the fear that it's all about to get much more real.......

But also looking forward to drawing a line in the sand somehow, not sure I can explain what I mean, but every journey starts with a single step...

I'm tired of the self loathing and the lies, tired of waking up with new bruises after having no recollection of when/how I got to bed, tired of feeling like I'm self harming in slow motion- maybe I'll feel less tired tomorrow, this feels HUGE, but necessary somehow.....

Those people who love me will likely be relieved - no more slurred phone calls, no more drunk friend at the party.... woohoo, new designated driver - I'm about to get popular!

Almost dinner time at work- risotto o'clock!

Thanks for listening

Hi cupoftea (love your name by the way ) I know what you mean about wine being a big part of your life - wine is a big shared passion for me and OH, regular wine tasting classes and some of our best friends have been met at events. But when I told OH i was stopping drinking, he just shrugged and said 'okay' and the last we got together with our 'wine friends' I confided in one of them that I was concerned about my drinking...she said she felt exactly the same about herself so the next time we get together we will be looking out for each other. It's hard to describe, but stopping drinking seems like the biggest deal in the world in my head - but when you vocalise it it's no big deal to most people, and that's because alcohol doesn't have the same hold on them. I'm probably not expressing myself very well, but what I mean to say is dont be worried about how sobriety might affect your 'drinking life'. You might be very pleasantly surprised

whatever can you prepare a nice selection of picky nibbles on a platter to occupy your hands before dinner...olives, crackers, cheese, dip? If you can replace the post work wine with something else you've cracked it I have cold cut meats and lemon and ginger tea! Weird I know but works for me.

Evening Maudlin - hope thinks are looking better for you today?
And everyone else!
I used to have a body. Now all I own is a battle field. Am assured that the head cold, 'busy' chest tubes and mouth ulcers are ALL to do with toxins from smoke and booze clearing my body and my body re-adjusting to dealing with the new conditions. Incl infections. Who knew smoking provides a slight barrier to infection? Some of the 4,000 chemicals have an anti-bacterial effect.
Best wishes for tomorrow BGJ.

Hi everyone, sorry cupoftea missed your post. You are in the right place joining here. Well I made it through the craving. Watching catch up tv and having a big(ish)chocolate bar😊. I have read the cravings do pass so just need to fight through them. The thought of a wine now does not sound appealing at all. Looking forward to making it into double figures tomorrow - Day 10.

Glad to be here. Day 60 for me - can hardly believe it! The longest period I've been sober since aged fifteen ... maybe even fourteen :/ I'm 35 now.

Anyway. Life is getting better. First week I was on a bit of a pink cloud. Weeks two and three I honestly felt I was in freefall in terms of depression, emotions etc. Knew I couldn't go back to drinking but at the same time was a bit WTF at how raw I felt.

But this past week or two has been pretty amazing! Keep thinking back to this time last year, I was boozing pretty heavily to manage stress. This year I have just as much external stress, but things are going so much better.

Thanks everyone for the words of wisdom

I made it through another evening with only a couple of brief cravings. DH drank half a bottle of red and chomped on cheese while I ate a satsuma & drank sparkling water

I think I have a lot of friends who drink too much and we're all to some extent co-dependent.

Does anyone else have trouble sleeping? I find it really hard to get to sleep without a drink. I remember from Januarys that it settles down after a couple of weeks though.

Well done to all & stay strong.

Starting to feel the panic rising..... I suppose I just have to be brave for the 10 mins i will have with the doctor, but starting to feel nauseous about the whole prospect... Now I know why I have been sweeping it under the carpet for so long - it's so much easier than facing the music.....

I just hope he's nice... I'm sure I won't be the first lush he's ever seen!

I predict a disturbed night's sleep - just need to remind myself why I am doing it.....

will let you know tomorrow...

You're right about how GPs 'have seen it all before' - there are few new things under the sun for them each day. You won't shock the doc. Just lay it all out in front of them. Then they can assist.

BJG, this might sound a bit off the wall, but stick with it....

I can remember about 5 years ago I had been chatting about how much I liked the sea....fishing, kayaking, whale watching etc and we happened to be at a holiday place when BIL said about cliff jumping. Now when I say I liked the sea, I liked being on top of it, not actually in it, you know with underwater fish and stuff like that....I eventually went with BIL and can remember standing in the cliff edge sh*ing myself. I jumped and hit the cold water....and it woke me up.....it wasn't that bad

Now one of my hobbies is scuba diving, I can't get into the water enough.

Think of giving up booze the same way, scary and full of trepidation but once you wake up in sobriety you are going to love it

Today I woke up without a hangover, pretty much slept through, I'm usually awake from 2am.
Drinking a bottle and a half of wine a night, alone, starting from the minute I walk through the door . On weekends I start at lunchtime. Sick of having no recollection of going to bed.
Last night instead I went to an exercise class, and gave my self a manicure.
Tonight I'm going to run, then facial. My goal for now is Saturday .

Hi sharpasknives. Well done. I've woken up sans hangover but thick headed and exhausted before I even start. Was last night your first? I honestly feel worse on my 4th morning - although without the anxiety, just shattered.

Saturday sounds good, I'll join you

Nice one sharp. Run and facial is ideal for Tuesday night I'm going to do that too #winningatthegameoflife

First for months. I've managed to put a chicken in to roast on the timer, do a load of washing, and feel good.

Checking in at the start of day 10. Shattered and stressed but sober.

I'm back from GPs...

Cried a bit, but less than I expected...

Got some helpline numbers to call if I want to, but that feels another step away somehow, I think I need to consolidate it in my own head before I go to a group...

I think the next stage, and the one I am dreading, is telling friends and family... I thought about a smoke and mirrors approach as I'm training for a big sporting event next year - tell them I was ditching the drink to train better, but having done the race before, and knowing how much I like a drink I don't think they'll buy it - especially with Christmas just around the corner.

It's also more lies, and I want to get away from the lies....

So working out when and how to tell people is the next step on the road...

A two week wait for the blood test as they only do those in the morning... Ah well, hopefully my poor liver will have had two weeks off by then...

no drink yesterday, so I guess that makes today day 2.....

Sharp asknives and Cupoftea both doing really well and glad to see it. I completed a yoga class last night - really enjoyed it teacher had said I wouldn't be able to do all the positions but I think I did pretty well!

I'm going to go for a run today too, haven't ran in about two years, but hoping it will be good without alcohol.

Violets, double digits, massive congrats - unfortunately sobriety doesn't get rid if the stress, but it does make it easier to cope with. Imagine that stress with the added anxiety of a hangover.

BGJ - I'm really glad things weren't as bad as you thought they would be, usually the way when you worry about something isn't it?

Re the group thing, it is hard going into a group on your own (I found it hard walking into that class last night) most groups will have a greeter, or someone who will bring you to the group for the first time. It's hard going first time but it dies make it easier in the long run, it also gives you a social type of life with non drinkers.

Do the one day at a time thing and you can tell your family that you aren't drinking that day, not telling lies then....or leave it 3/4 weeks before telling them. You could tell them you are looking a better time in the race this year?

Well done BJG. Have you considered calling your local alcohol service ? You should be able to find it by googling. You can usually self refer. I referred myself before I even spoke to my GP and I can honestly say it was worth it. They can provide lots of support and medication to help with cravings if you need.

If you don't fancy AA also have a look at Smart Recovery. If you want to PM me and give me an idea of where you are I can probably help you find out what's available locally.

There's certainly meetings out there, just had a quick look... Not sure I'm ready for that yet, but i'm not dismissing anything currently...

Slowly slowly.....

Work trip for the rest of the week which will present the first bunch of challenges, but it's with people who don't know me, so I just have to worry about myself rather than managing others expectations of BGJ the drinker...

Onwards!