DRY 16

[vxa2]

If you're quitting alcohol for a brighter sober future come and join us here. A very welcoming bunch supporting each other every step of the way.

Link to Dry 15

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2726334-Dry-15?msgid=65047780#65047780

Oh dear AntiGrinch and well done for starting over. Lots of ideas on a post on page 24, if you want some help?

Nearly day 1 done antigrinch. Hope you're getting on ok. Hugs.
Hello lou. I'm with you on the exercise front. It has made such a difference to me too. Well done on you AF30
X

Same here on the exercise also done several "improving" online courses, and read a lot of books. Also two different CPD courses :) Amazing how much more concentration I seem to have, again. Well guess its not really.
Day 130 for me :)

Just checking in. Well done on Day 1 Grinch.

I had a chat with a friend who does AA recently. She was surprised that I'm not seeing counsellors or attending meetings. It kind of got me worried that online support isn't enough because she sees someone from AA most days. Does anyone else just KOKO without real life support and find it ok? I think part of my reluctance is that I don't want my life to be based around alcohol any more and I feel that a constant round of meetings and going for coffee to talk about my problems would still be a life based around alcohol - albeit the avoidance of drinking.

HI
Thanks for the welcome.
I'm actually enjoying having "permission" not to drink. My dcs are with me tonight (they live part of the time with their father) and the house feels alive and warm and cosy.

I've been so tired and strung out so much of the time recently. Drinking doesn't help but in the short term it feels like it does.

I phoned in sick today after drinking a bottle and a half for the nth time last night. I got a lot of sympathy from my boss and I refuse to feel guilty about that because I am struggling and I did need a day off. Feeling so, so tired now and looking forward to the days getting easier over the next little while, while I'm sober.

This isn't my first time at the rodeo but my god I'm sick of it.

Hi antigrinch

you're in a good place here...

onwards

Ross I have felt like that too. It scared me away from AA the first time as there was the expectation to do at least 3 meetings a week. That is never going to work for a lot of people - especially if they have family and they work also.
I think it can be done with online support definitely
X

Ross and anyone else reading this
I have been to precisely 3 AA meetings, ever and all in the first week of the last year. They just didn't "chime" with me. What HAS worked for me is the routine I outlined on my blog, and somewhere on this thread ( before page 24, which is the helpful links post)
I have found signing up to Belle at Tired of thinking about drinking to do her SoberJumpstart Course and all the other free stuff she offers was really helpful. Plus Club Soda MOB and Sober Sassy Life Jackie Elliot.
And lots of other online bloggers. And this thread :)
So its whatever helps YOU stay sober! If a tool doesn't work, add a different one and USE IT not just look at it. Lots of sober treats for getting through an hour, a day, a week. Reward yourself for doing a really hard thing FOR PEOPLE LIKE US. Just because others can just not drink does not mean we can. We find it hard. We think about not drinking. We try to "moderate" Its hard. I have found the best thing is to just Not Drink. Trust those of us with a bit ( or a lot!) of sobriety experience - it works.
I'm on Day 130 this time round. In the last year I have drunk for precisely 10 days. In the last 2 years, 30 days in total, in the last 3 years , 70 days in total. Before that - 360 days (?) out of every year? For 30 odd years? Not a huge amount all the time but lots, a lot of the time and enough to worry me. Which is all that really matters tbh. If the amount you drink, worries you, it IS a worry.

Hi, Day 2 here.

It's Summer in Australia and everyone seems to be drinking heaps.

Life out of control for many years. Divorce, another relationship failed, 2 kids with me full time, and a demotion at work.

In Australia you can buy 4 and 5 litre casks of wine and it's cheap.

I starting taking a coloured water bottle full of wine with me to work so I could be here and not feel. I would sip in the toilets at the train station in the morning and sip throughout the day. I ended up not remembering half the stuff I did at work the next day.

No memory of getting home from parties for at least 3 years.

So fat and unfit.

This is the 4th time I've decided to stop. I realise I can't do just the 1 drink.

Yesterday was Australia Day and typical BBQ and booze flowing.
I took my sparkling lime water but was asked at least 4 times if I wanted a drink and this was from my brother and mother. I come from a line of alcoholics.

I would drink til I feel asleep and that was on the couch. I would drag myself to be and If I woke at 4am I got up and drank more just so that I could go back to sleep.

I would then drive the kids to school half pissed. I'm pretty sure all the school mums could smell it on me and whisper.

I'm full of shame for all of the above but I really don't want this drunk life anymore

I REALLY want to be able to do this.

Welcome never, good to have you aboard. How are you feeling physically? I get that, my life went tits up some years back and I hit the bottle hard as a way to cope. Put the shame in the past it's not helpful, you are now doing something amazing for yourself and those around you. I can't do one drink either, you are in good company here

Rrross, I have been to AA a total of 5 times the last time I did an extended period. I thought the same as you, it was like replacing one addition for another and having such a central part of your life it was going to put alcohol at the forefront of your mind. It works for some people and works well so I'll never put it down but doesn't work for me. That voice goes 'at least I'm not that bad', which is not a good thing for me to think.

I also don't find blogs work for me, it's all about finding your own tools. What I do find helpful amongst other things is here and other recovery forums I'm on. Reddit often gets a bad rap but I've found their stop drinking sub invaluable, especially the daily check in commiting to 24 hours of sobriety which I use a lot. I totally think it can done on your own.

Yes, definitely some parallels there mumble I have been the same recently, I've seen me slipping back to some old behaviours and thoughts processes and it scared me as I know how slippery that slope is. As they say your rock bottom can be as far as you stop digging. I'm stopping digging now.

30 days Lou! Massive well done. Exercise definitely does help.

Good job on day two now Antigrinch I hope you feel better today.

May get the littleys up for school. Have a great Friday everyone.

Day 549 (and i'm celebrating 550 as i might not get to post tomorrow).

I find shame is a big enemy of mine looking back. It's important to be aware and remember the damaging, unhealthy, lonely and desperately sad life i used to live but not to dwell on it.

Today is a new day and life is now different. If other people are unable to forget then that's for them and you can't control them.

After a good period of accessing continued support through my treatment programe i'm now going solo without meetings and so on. So far so good, but if i feel i need to change tack for my own wellbeing then i will.

KOKO and have a good weekend.

Hi
I looked at AA but I just can't fit it in. I know that sounds like excuses but it really isn't.
I appreciate you lot very much though.
Banging headache today, day 2 of a hangover (a hangover from the last couple of weeks) but still feel better than yesterday.

I woke up feeling grateful that I can stop, that I don't get withdrawal effects, wondering when that will start and how many chances I'm going to get. gratitude is a huge thing for me today. I've messed a lot of stuff up from not really being focused or present, forgetting things, letting things slide, but I still have a house and a job and my kids and I've still got chances. So grateful.

Hello all, just checking in to say I've been sober again since Saturday Find it pretty easy at home now, my DH doesnt drink much/ at all at home so thats not bad... but I still find the going out thing hard! Even though rationally I know that drinking wont make it a better evening, I'm quite socially awkward ... quite an introvert though I try and put on outgoing face, no one ever believes me when I say I'm shy! I'm going out tonight and I'm the driver and also said I would drive our babysitter home and I have an exam tomorrow so thats tonight taken care of!

Has anyone tried that gin replacement drink? Seedlip? Was thinking of ordering some for a grown up drink in the evenings.

Have a wonderful day all :)

Hi Captain well done on the week and on making your plans for this evening.

I'm looking ahead to a boring evening home alone with the dcs and it's temping to bring some wine into the mix. I'm not feeling great which is I know because I need to look after myself better, but it is so tempting to just make it all go away.

I need to get a home-based hobby. A lot of this is just boredom.

Sorry to waffle on about me. Feeling a bit needy at this point in the game

antigrich we've all been there, I waffled the biggest load of nonsense when I first joined, and still do, especially when I'm finding things tough...

It's one of the fantastic benefits of an anonymous chat room, we can safely open up, voice our hopes and fears.... and I've seen nothing but support, encouragement and positive vibes....

Plus regardless of the time of day there's always someone online - that's what I love! And I wouldn't get that at meetings!! My doctor was super keen for me to attend an actual meeting, and to swap numbers with other attendees with the purpose of forging friendships..... I don't have enough hours in the week for the friends I already have!!

But I have all of you.... and again it seems I'm waffling... bored on the train, but not drunk on train!!

So feel free to waffle, scream, shout - whatever gets you through....

Love you all...

#iamnotthegirlonthetrain

Fantastic going Hopes. I keep the idea of meetings open for myself, you never know, pays to be flexible about these things.

Antigrinch, I wrote that yesterday in my journal how thankful I felt to be given this chance to change things. I have a lot more blessings than troubles. You know how you would feel to bring wine into it tonight, certainly wouldn't be feeling gratitude anyway Waffle away, I do it all the time too . It's been so quiet here lately, it's nice to see people back on and talking. What sort of thing interests you? A lot for me is battling with boredom too, single parent so once the dc go to bed it's me on my lonesome. I did some online courses last time through futurelearn which occupied me for a few weeks at a time.

Captain, that's me too. I'm quite shy (that no-one believes), introverted and not the most confident in social situations. I used alcohol a lot for that kind of thing. Sorry I'm no help at all just know that I sympathise.

Having a lazy night myself. Banging headache all day - I've been so stressed and sore the last few days I've been clenching my teeth constantly, think this is a result of that. Ordered pizza, cba cooking and getting into the pjs soon to settle down with some Twinnings lemon and ginger. One good thing about a sore head is alcohol hasn't featured in my mind all day despite being a Friday.

Banging headache here too. Hope yours gets better, Vidorra.

Thanks BGJ.

I'm.... in bed. It feels great. Trying to talk myself out of watching some TV as if I just go to sleep now it would be the best thing. But also.... quite into the idea of starting a new box set and being clear headed enough to understand it!

I sent an email to my mum at 1.30am in the morning this week. The content was fine but she picked up on how late it was and said she hoped I was getting enough sleep. Hm. "not really because I sit around drinking wine for no reason while the house gets colder and colder reading more and more crap on the internet"? sad. I'm not going to be that person.

Good night everyone. Hope everyone is gearing up for a lovely sober weekend.

Not so bad now after painkilers thanks, it's my teeth that are still aching Antigrinch. Hunted out the mouthguard that I'm meant to wear. Hope you get over yours too. What series are you thinking of watching? I'm always on the hunt for a new one. Nearly finished The Man in the High Castle (very good) and need a new one to line up. Thinking maybe Homeland as I've never got round to it yet.

Only this minute got youngest dd to sleep. Ds showed her something with clowns in it earlier (she has a fear of them that started during Halloween and I thought was forgotten about) Eventually got her settled by putting on the meditation music she used to love as a baby, now all cuddled up beside me in my bed which is not unusual but lovely. Very glad I wasn't drinking as I know I would have been inwardly very impatient to get stuck into my wine and just thinking ffs go to sleep in my head.

Hope you are getting on ok never?

Off to read my book, good night. Here's to the great feeling of waking up hangover free on a Saturday morning.

Hi Vidorra,

Hope your teeth are better today. I have lots of netflix to catch up on, I have only recently signed up and there are lots of things I haven't even started. Beat Street has been recommended, not sure if that's on netflix...Stranger Things too. I watched Homeland but not the new series so that's one to bear in mind!

I now feel abominable. I think I actually have a proper virus and am feeling a bit doomy about it as I have tons to do at the moment.

No wine in the house and I'm not even considering dragging the dcs to the shops. the only booze I could remotely drink is the BIL's xmas present (didn't see him at xmas or since) which is a bottle of booze.... which I have drunk and replaced once already. not again.

I don't even feel like it.

Hope you are all well? Check in and tell me more fun things than coming down with stinking viruses and mediating dcs squabbles

Outlander is very very good :)

Thank you!

Ah no Antigrinch, how are you feeling today? I'm not so bad, keep getting headaches but I think it's stress related.

Trying to think what I've watched on Netflix I've enjoyed. Stranger Things I couldn't get into. House of Cards is very good but quite involved and the nuances of the American political system went over my head at times. Probably seems like childs play given what is happening at the moment. Breaking Bad though I think most people have seen that.

Orange is the New Black for an easy watch? I love foreign ones so The french version of the Returned (only series one, series two sucked) and Rita. There's so much choice on Netflix and I have Prime too, a lot of the time I spend flicking through titles and not actually watching anything It is a life saver though, I rarely watch actual tv these days other than the news.

Had a tough day yesterday. Was in pain and broke into tears in the morning - PMT and discovered my washing machine died (before Christmas my oven had to be replaced and my freezer is on it's way out). Money, money, money sigh

Would have loved a drink tbh, feeling very highly strung atm and I would love just to forget about it for a few hours. I didn't, dp was here. Bless being accountable to someone. Taking up drinking and smoking again will hardly help my bank balance either.

Sorry, no fun things here

Oh Vidorra. what bad luck. I know that feeling of "Oh god, what NOW?" I actually cried in front of my kids after Christmas when the millionth thing that will cost a 3 figure sum to repair broke. they were really worried and I had to reassure them that really it isn't a huge deal.

Thanks for the sympathy but actually I feel tons better today. What I thought was a nasty virus has completely failed to materialise. I guess the booze is finally out of my system and I'm starting to feel decent again.

This morning was going pretty smoothly and cheerfully and I was thinking "why do my dcs just cheerfully get on with things like getting dressed when I actually feel ok, and when I don't have the strength to deal with endless faffing they just can't be got to do anything?" and I realised it's a fallacy, like the guy who said "funny how much good luck I get when I work hard." It's all my mood, isn't it - allow enough time to be calm, be ready and unstressed myself, have time to listen to them, ask them what they want for breakfast instead of snapping at them to have something quick - and then things "magically" go alright.

Sorry to hear about your bad day yesterday. Hope you have a better day today.

I'm back and have just finished reading everyone's updates. Sorry I can't NC everyone but it sounds positive.
So my confession is I did drink on the outbound and inbound flight, I buckled at "pink or white Champagne"? That said I did do moderation and certainly remembered the flight and slept as the bonus of a flatbed means I had to use it!
I have been dry over there and since, last week I had to fly to head office for meetings and I was quite shocked at my friends insistence that I drank. I have told everyone I was doing dry Jan, when the reality is I want to do 100 days and then see if I can go the whole year. I haven't revealed that to my colleagues and as DJ is so accepted no one blinked, but said friend was really pushing for ,e to crack, she kept whispering have white, white ,white like a broken record, then on the last day I won an award and got a bottle of champers, which I asked to be couriered to my home, and she said, oh, we could have drank that at the airport? Wtf, its my treat to use how I wish not a share with your team one, and surely your meant to be supporting not destroying my efforts?
This has been a real eye opener for me as to how people respond, I am pleased that I have not stopped being social, on my US trip I happily spent evenings chatting to colleagues, drinking anything soft and loving not waking up thinking "did I embarrass myself". I've been out with OH to pubs and even drank a hot chocolate after our walk, and loved it by the open fire.
I have now tried the becks blue, which could be a life saver in an eve situation.
If I am struggling with anything it's been I'm constantly exhausted, I thought my skin was going to shine, the bags under my eyes decrease and I would be skipping out of bed like Popeye on a mission? The reality is I look like death, I'm starting to come down with a cold, and even though I have eaten to a strict 1200 cals a day i have lost a paltry 4lbs. Maybe the 6 flights, 2 long haul and general jet lag/ work has stalled me and possibly by the end of Feb I should see a difference?

Sorry to bounce back and be so me me me, I'm just mystified to friends and health benefits today.