DRY 16

[vxa2]

If you're quitting alcohol for a brighter sober future come and join us here. A very welcoming bunch supporting each other every step of the way.

Link to Dry 15

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2726334-Dry-15?msgid=65047780#65047780

Hi there. I'm ok. I have a meeting tonight. The first and I am scared. I cry every time I think about it. I don't know what's happening to me.

borage13 it is very scary but please remember that everyone else at the meeting is feeling the same as you, you won't be alone there and you are not alone here. There are lots and lots of us out there who have felt exactly how you do now and are virtually holding your hand.

Do you want to tell us a little bit about yourself? If not no worries, just listen along

I do but I'm looking after my dc so I can't at the moment. I might update when I get back. I can't get emotional yet.

Sobersarah great post! I can also recommend all those blogs and self care tips and I particularly rate the Andrew Johnson Quit Drinking app. I'm approaching 11 months on 28th November, my one year anniversary is 28th December...... You can all do this you know....
Download the Andrew Johnson Quit Drinking App and listen to it, every day for at least 3 weeks. If you put it on "Sleep mode" you can do it when you go to bed. You'll probably have a great kip too. It doesn't matter if you drop off while it is playing (I used to fall asleep at around 15 mins in and wake up momentarily a couple of hours later, earphones out and straight back off again)

I've mentioned this before but I truly believe you have to already have, or find something that you want to do, more than you want to drink.
For me, that is my running, walking, HIIT Training or my new love, Road Cycling.

I also meditate daily.

If you're suffering from Depression, Anxiety or both then I highly recommend Professor Mark Williams " Mindfulness Finding Peace in a Frantic World" it's an eight week programme and costs less than a tenner....Amazon have it in book and Kindle format.
If you have co-dependent tendencies and constantly put others feelings before you're own/feel responsible for "fixing" everything then Melody Beatty's book "Co-Dependent No More" is highly recommended (Thanks for that one Lucy2610........and by the way Lucy, hope you're well!)
It's life changing.

Welcome to all the new posters, your (real) life is about to begin....grab it with both hands and don't let go. I am so grateful for everything I've learned. Yes, shit will still happen but you will deal with it so much better. It might even feel a bit worse at times (it isn't though) because you aren't self medicating/numbing with alcohol....but the huge benefit of that is the moments of joy in your life will also be magnified too, because you aren't numbing those either.
It's truly wonderful, I promise

Hi to everyone else and thank you Vxa for the new thread.

Finally a big "hello, hope you're doing great" to my sober twin Absolutebeginner

Hi everyone, checking in at the end of day 3 tucked in bed with hot choc, snacks and a good book.

borage how did the meeting go?

Interesting to read people's thoughts on fixating on current affairs and news. I find it really helpful to disengage from the real world as much as possible when I'm sober. I focus on me and mine, and nothing beyond it. Otherwise I feel very overwhelmed very quickly and as if my sobriety doesn't matter in the grand schemes of things. I guess what I'm trying to say is it's okay to be selfish.

Sending good wishes to everyone.

Hi folks. I cried the whole way through. On the sofa, still dry, very tired but peaceful. Thank you x

Hi all, just marking my place on shiny new thread (thanks vxa!) and my day 190!

Life is difficult at the moment, but drinking won't solve that, and I'm noticing that my brain is really starting to function better!

Re Trump, Brexit et al. I'm making an effort to not think about it. I can't change stuff, I just need to get on with my life and roll with whatever punches it gives me!

Good morning

Well done Borage for going to the meeting.

I have just remembered that I have a work night out this evening. I really want to go for various reasons so I will be focusing really hard on not drinking.
Need to focus on working the room instead... it's not really me (which is why I drink too much!) but that's why I need to go, not to get shitfaced and write off the rest of my week.
I'm going to drink fizzy water, get ice and lime in it and pretend it's a G&T, and mingle like a pringle.

How are you all this morning?

All good here but a bit confused. Dd is living in London, dw and I are split. Wife has ordered birthday present last night and said it was from dd. (Dd does bar work and doesn't have much money) ....can't understand why when de knew I was happy with a HB text from DD (even though I know dw had to remind her)

Can't work out DWs reasoning (oh I know that dw ordered present as DS inadvertently told me)

Morning everyone. borage how are you today. Well done on going to the meeting. It is a really big step and I hope you feel suitably proud of yourself.

maudlin I found this post really helpful especially the bit about playing the tape forward. thesoberschool.com/cravings-how-to-stop-them/

It is good that you are planning ahead but also remember you don't have to go and you can leave early. Your sobriety is what matters most now and you need to put yourself first. Sometimes this doesn't come naturally particularly for women but think of it as self care not selfishness. Xx

Well done finnish on 190 days. So inspirational

borage hope you are being kind to yourself after your bravery yesterday. I am taking things safely and slowly. It is the only way I can face sobriety.

I did a blog post about self- care not selfishness

vxa2 - great link thank you :)

borage, so brave well done you! I have never had the courage to go to a meeting.

I am heading into the 70's now gang, day 71 for me today.

Folks meetings are very therapeutic I find. Also let's you know you aren't some sort sold weirdo that has this problem, and also lets you identify with the issues alcohol causes.

Hello :) today I am reaping the benefits of feeling composed and capable and ready to deal with what life throws at me :) I am aware it might not last. I feel ready but also ready to fail and pick myself up again

Hi Borage, as with everything else in beginning sobriety, take it one day at a time so for this day take it you are composed and capable a it will last for today. - tomorrow wake up and start the day off well, and take that day as it comes

Well done Borage be gentle with yourself :)

AA is great for some, but not all - there are other types of groups/organisations and other ways to get to sobriety. All are great!

The main thing I think is try several different approaches and then if it/they work for you to stick with it - its finding the one that works for you that does the trick.

I agree with Hurricane that finding something that means even more to you than drinking is a really big key. For me a big thing was the reduction in my anxiety and the improvement in my general health had such a big knock on effect that it keeps me sober when other things threaten to overwhelm me.

Also the spending of my saved money on sober treats :)

Hi all,

Am wishing to join after a few weeks of lurking and reading. Have suffered decades of booze and cigarettes and tried differing ways of getting rid of them but they have always managed to sneak back in.
Am now ending Day 3 of cold turkey on both. Not been here before for donkey's years. Spending time just looking after me, eating the comfort foods, ignoring stresses, and reading all stuff avidly. Only my BFF knows how much I drank and how many cigs I consumed consistently. I've been really good at hiding a truth, I think....In the 3 days I'd ordinarily expect to have breathed and flushed away about 60 quid, always assuming I had the 60 in my bank. We I did, it went. Currently I have far more than 60 quid BUT this time it's remaining where it is.

Wonderful to wake on Tues and this morning bright and bushy-tailed. But tonight it's over-whelmingly tiredness that dominates. I knew this would happen and it's a different tired from that horrible mid-afternoon alcoholic slump.

Don't think I can do AA like yourself borage and hats off to you.

There are lots of people from the group messaging me with support. It's very nice but a little intimidating.

Welcome nottoday cling on to that bright eyed bushy tailed feeling. It is wonderful!

Tired here too. Lots of early nights for me. Day 4 done.

to all

borage its prob because they know first couple of days are the worst and its to try and encourage you

violets - am even looking fwd to waking up just for that feeling.

Nottoday and Violets - you want to hear something even better, the days you wake uo start to get better and better, you have the energy now when you wake up,...... you then start to lose the feeling of impending doom, or what did I do last night etc, ......your skin starts to look better, you start to lose weight......you aren't as moody....people want to be around you and talk to you ....you don't have the fear of smelling of alcohol the next morning.....you have time to make yourself look good in the morning before leaving the house....you have more money....you become more reliable and can start things in the morning instead of the afternoon ....you know that if you have to drive of an evening you can....if there is a mini emergency you can sort it out .....(for me anyway) my house is clean and tidy (way better than it was before)....makes me wonder when I ever got time to drink

user I may have to print that fabulous post out and carry it with me everywhere. A checklist of what a new life can look like.

I've lost track of how many 'mornings after' dinner parties or nights out with dear, dear friends that I've had to creep downstairs not knowing what I've done, who I've upset, what state I've ended up in. Even if it was mostly baseless paranoia, it's still not a life i want to live.