DRY 16

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If you're quitting alcohol for a brighter sober future come and join us here. A very welcoming bunch supporting each other every step of the way.

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http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2726334-Dry-15?msgid=65047780#65047780

Hi all. Bit of a grim question on being free from alcohol (day 9) I woke up this morning about 5am with crippling stomach pains and hoping not to sound too gross, had a couple of bouts of the runs. Called in work, thinking I had come down with a bug, vut I feel fine now and like a fraud. Do you think this could be some kind of detox effect?this is the longest I have gone without alcohol in nearly 9 years.

Over a week on I wouldn't think so Donald. Have you ate anything that wouldn't agree with you? I've noticed in recent months things like chippies or a lot of cheese the night before have me crippled the next morning with a dodgy stomach but passes after a few hours.

Yes I think you might be right. I have put it down to something I have eaten. Thanks.

Evening All...

Feeling exceptionally flat this evening, and tonight felt the first real pull back to the dark side - driving home from work in the cold sideways snow it did, albeit briefly, cross my mind that this used to be exactly the sort of day I would have gone home via the supermarket, opened the bottle at 330, been comatose by 6, and awake again at 9 wondering what was going on....

I came straight home, ate my own body weight in haribo (lesser of two evils) and slept on the sofa for an hour and a half..... But no drink has been consumed!

But just shattered, hormonal and emotion - even had a cry.... Lordy!! All part of the healing process, but has swiped my confidence a little - perhaps no bad thing, pride before a fall etc...

Not even sure why I'm typing it, I suppose it's a little like doing the cross word - by the time you've read the clue out you know what the answer is... And you guys always have something supportive, helpful, inspirational or just plain funny to say......

Waiting on the washing machine to finish it's spinning thing, then it's either a bath or yoga.... but no point in an early night due to previous 'snooze' - hoping I haven't triggered a vicious circle of poorer sleep - its bad enough as it is.....

Thanks for letting me type my random ramble...

Onwards!

Sorry you're feeling so low BG, sometimes a good cry is what you need. Sounds like you handled it perfectly though, haribos and all. I've been munching my way through toffees and refresher chews today. My dentist would shriek with horror.

I fully understand the confidence thing. I was left feeling on very shaky ground on Friday night, I had such a strong craving it left me really overwhelmed. A few days on now though and I'm feeling stronger again. It's not the cravings, it's how we deal with them and just have to concentrate on today.

I think the cold weather doesn't help. I've had a few pangs myself, it's very reminiscent of putting the fire on and cuddling up with a wine or g&t. Tomorrow is another day and you can celebrate getting through a challenge and passing it with flying colours Do you like music? I sometimes potter about adding songs onto my 'sober playlist'; songs that make me feel good, inspirational or like I will kick alcohol's ass.

Not too bad myself, feeling a lot more present at the moment. Despite the odd pang I had a thought today about how nice it was not to have to be checking the booze bottles to make sure I had enough or go on unnecessary trips out in the freezing cold to get some. As you said Lou, it was a sense of absolute freedom.

BGJ sorry you're feeling so low. You got through the day though and whether we fly through the day on a happy, sober breeze or whether we feel like we're wading through treacle the important thing is that we've stuck another pin in the map on our sober journey.

I had a thought today about how nice it was not to have to be checking the booze bottles to make sure I had enough or go on unnecessary trips out in the freezing cold to get some This brought back the terror of running out or being trapped in the house without being able to get to the offy and the making up of excuses to go to the corner shop for wine (I can't count how many times I poured the milk down the sink and told DH I'd better just pop out for more).

I've finished my six week Sober Revolution plan. I can recommend it. Something that struck me at the end of the book is that they liken this achievement to passing your driving test. On the day you pass you can technically drive but it takes time, experience and practice to become a good driver.

On a different note it's blowing a hooley and something has just fallen down the chimney. Will send DH to investigate later.

Greetings all. I love the fact that even if I'm having a crap day it is still a million times better than a crap day with a hangover and the fear of what I might have said or done last night

High five to that sarah

Thanks for the recommendation Rross, I read the sober revolution some years back so will check it out. Living alone, I never had to make any excuses to anyone about why to go for wine. I did make plenty of excuses to myself however. Oh, I neeed to nip to the supermarket to get a few groceries that I didn't need while I'm there may as well pick up some wine

Noticed for the first time today my skin is looking much better - far clearer and less red. I've also been drinking a lot of water, turned veggie and stopped smoking. Something is working

Just checking in, day 12 for me and sleep pattern is definitely improved. Vidorra that's great about your skin, a positive to keep going.
I met a colleague today who commented my skin/face looked brighter and less bloated, I was pleased but horrified that the wine witch was obvious in how I presented myself to the world. Thankfully she attributed this to my new year diet and I would never reveal its dropping a bottle of white a night to thank!
I have a dilemma, well it's not really if I just say no, but I'm on a business trip from Sunday and having received my flight tickets, discovered I'm booked into First class, the immediate temptation to discover the joy of bubbles on a flatbed and the secrets of the illusive dedicated first class lounge is driving me insane. Can I resist, would I be strong enough to stop at 1? This is from the wine queen who drank herself into a coma 4 years ago in business class on a previous work trip, however this is with a different employer, the mindset of play hard/work hard is completely different and I'm travelling alone. I've got to stop thinking this is the ultimate sweet shop that I could/would never afford or pay myself. Please offer some harsh common sense.

Up until now I've only had the odd urge to want a drink, I think one time was seeing some people on TV drinking and it looked good, but that thought caved a few scenes later. I'm just pleased January is accepted amongst friends as dry, so I haven't had to deal with any peer pressure.
Everyone is doing so well and this thread is so helpful, thank you everyone for your honesty in sharing the good and bad, it does keep me going.

Bali I had exactly that dilemma last year regarding long haul in business. As it turned out I didn't go on my trip but I completely understand the lure/temptation of it all....I did do a long haul to the US late last year but not in business and didn't drink and it was sooooooo much nicer as I found (but ignored) the flight was hugely dehydrating and shoving alcohol on that just gave me constant and immediate headaches and I felt scratchy, dry and irritable for days. God the first time in my adult life doing a sober long haul both ways in 5 days for some reason massively reduced the jet lag, the water retention I always used to get was non existent, felt fresher and more alert during the trip and so pleased with myself to have done it. I travelled at about 23 days which was always a tricky time for me but I was so glad I powered through because it really gave me a boost to know I could travel without a few drinks plus sleep in the hotel for 4 nights without anything to help me off etc etc

You CAN do this you know

I said to myself that I could drink myself silly on my next long haul flight but for this lbs I was going to do it sober

"For" the first time in my adult life...

balibabe I can totally relate to that. We got an upgrade, related to my DH's work and I couldn't imagine not taking advantage and drinking. I'd like to think I'd be able to now but I get that it is really hard. But I second loubilou's post - it feels so horrible being slightly or very hungover on a flight. Also, they will have fancy soft drinks, and really nice food 🙂. You can def do this, and you will feel so much better for it. Otherwise that flight will be associated in your mind going forwards as the thing that made you cave in

Anyone else here not have the temptation to drink when they're alone, only when they're with others? There's tonnes of booze in the house but it doesn't 'speak to me' unless DH is here and drinking. But if he offers me a drink I find it really hard to refuse, even if I've said to myself all day I won't drink. And there's a high-risk time too - early evening just before I've eaten. So hard to resist. But after dinner it's much easier

Wemay - I think that those are very common triggers, and also that it's great that you've identified your triggers! Now you know what they are, try working through those (I found that when I was at my trigger points, I could say to myself 'If I still really want to drink after X, I could choose to do it then, but now I'm going to have a cup of tea instead')

I even managed this with going to a nightclub - insisted that my first 2 drinks were Tonic water, after that I was in the swing of things, and was happy to stick to not drinking (had a really fabulous time, didn't have a hangover and was a very very cheap night!)

Wemay it took me YEARS to work out hunger was a huge trigger and I didn't want as much drink after I had eaten (doh!)

If I feel a craving coming up I make sure I eat and also very importantly drink a lot of water/AF drinks to make sure I am properly hydrated.

This is the time of day when I have a Becks Blue (or 3) as I don't feel as if I am missing out so much, it is also actually mainly water so rehydrates me, the bubbles in it also help to make me feel a little full as the dinner is cooking and it just gives me something to do with my hands whilst I am preparing the food or waiting for the food. Historically I had a glass of wine at this time of day for 15 years - that's going to take a lot of undoing but I just had to find the right strategies.

That would fall under good old HALT wemay Hunger, angry (have seen anxious being used there too, both work I think), lonely and tired. All very common triggers.

I love how cheap nights and dinner out are teetotal finnish

Some great posts balibabe wrt to drinking on flights. I try to forget the one flight I talked shit to everyone around me high on valium and copious amounts of whisky and didn't realise when the plane had landed I've done quite a few sober since then and it's no longer a thing I think about.

Have decided I'm going to come clean to dp tomorrow night. About my past and why when we first met I was having a period of sobriety. I actually wrote a letter to try and get my head together about what I was going to say. I have been playing a lot in my head lately 'sure you've been worse, binges once or twice a week is nothing compared to the past' but it's helped me get clear in my head that alarm bells were beginning to ring again. Causing me anxiety, polishing off a bottle and having no problems starting another, when I prefer to get pissed rather than 'one or two' that's my line in the sand. Doesn't matter the frequency of how often I drink, soon as those feelings start to resurface it's time to end it before I slip further to levels I was before.

Bit nervous about how she'll take it. I think it will ok, only hope she doesn't feel like I've been lying to her.

Vidorra, you are doing the right thing - good luck and let us know how it goes.

Cheers Lou, reading that back I clearly liked the word 'head' a lot I'm sure it will fine, she is a non judgemental type. We have had discussions about alcoholism before as I've lost relatives to it in recent years so I know her viewpoints.

I suppose in some way I think it's only fair and maybe a tiny part of me knows I have a get-out clause if I keep her in the dark. I'm accountable to no-one really then. Well my best friend knows the reason I quit the first time but I think he must have believed I just needed break from it?

Have a good sober weekend everyone..
If in doubt, check your HALT. I find it usually solves my problems. Hunger usually..
KOKO.

Best of luck Vidorra, hope the chat goes well.

Bali I'd suggest playing it forward. You might imagine you'd sashay onto the plane at Heathrow like Joan Collins, ready for champagne, caviar and a cashmere blanket. But would you still be Joan on by the time the plane lands or would you have turned into Shane McGowan?

I'm enjoying some unleaded cranberry juice with tonic water, ice and a slice of orange. It's very good, would fully recommend it.

Weymey, it's so true about the hidden triggers and I hadn't even thought of HALT, or identifying mine, so the lure of the urge could well have beaten me. You are ahead of the game and now gaining the control, with power comes knowledge, so the next wobble you can decide what, why, how to overcome it.
Lou, Wey and Vidorra thank you, your all correct in previous disaster flights and Thank you for sharing the wisdom and benefits of remaining sober. I do swell up on a long haul (it's the US I'm heading), I can't afford to be tired and jet lagged as it's a full on meeting starting at breakfast so being clear headed and not the size of an odemetis Elephant is a huge bonus.

Rross, I loved that analogy!! I will think of that on Sunday as I swish on the plane, but I have decided, no champers for me, I will ask for my soft drink out of a champers flute to feel the part but I want to exit in style and not "Ab Fab Edina" style, post the wine tasting episode:). Although I may shove the cashmere blanket into my case!

And to hail my AF journey further, I am actually sticking to my diet with ease and doing my fitness routine and (whispers, as I'm scared it could stop) enjoying it and planning my next workout! Whilst on the giggle juice I was a carb a holic, always stuffing my face and craving sugar and junk at the end of a night. I have lost 5 lbs in 13 days, which is a huge achievement for me.
Here's to a good weekend folks.

Thanks everyone - went to a bar last night. 5pm on a Friday, dangerous strategy. For one reason or another it couldn't be avoided. Raining, kids were at a club, there was nowhere else nearby, no car to sit in and I needed somewhere to do some work. Anyway, soooo tempted to drink but thought I'd have a hot chocolate first and see how I felt afterwards. Sure enough I didn't feel like a "real" drink after. This week has been tough: early days for me, new country, and to top it all off, PMS. But I'm still hanging on. Your posts are so helpful.

One of the massive bonuses is modelling to my kids how drinking is not the only way to relax, and that AF drinks can be special too

Hope you all have a lovely AF weekend

PS well done on the 5lb as well as everything else balibabe 🏅

wemay we'll done on the hot choc!

I'm sober and waiting to brace a freezing park run! This is first January in forever I'm feeling positive, happy and in control. It's 90% due to being sober and the positive effect that has on my mental health and outlook.

KOKO everyone

Whoop, well done wemay. You are doing absolutely fantastic with everything that is going on.

So jealous efc I miss doing parkruns, since I can't do them was thinking of volunteering the odd Saturday instead. May today bring you a pb

Congrats on the weight loss Bali, I've often seen 'alcohol fosters inertia' on the Brave Babes thread when I used to read it and it's very true. With alcohol out of the equation it's so much easier to make changes and stay motivated.

Thay image totally made me snort Rrross, I'll remember that one next time I'm flying.

Sleep went to pot last night after sleeping so well recently, had a lot of stuff I was thinking over which made me unable to drift off. Still I can just imagine how I'd feel with a hangover instead. Yuck. Caffeine willl easily sort this one out. Have a good day everyone!