DRY 16

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If you're quitting alcohol for a brighter sober future come and join us here. A very welcoming bunch supporting each other every step of the way.

Link to Dry 15

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2726334-Dry-15?msgid=65047780#65047780

In good news DH went to Hotel Chocolat and exchanged the gin for non-alcoholic chocs 🍫

In bad news someone (not sure who, I have a couple of friends with the same name) has sent me an early birthday present. So now I have more gin to get rid of! 😈

DH thinks I should make a Facebook announcement that I'm not drinking any more. Not a chance. It's bad enough that I've got a transgender child, I'm estranged from my family and I suddenly upped and moved 200 miles and neglected to tell all but a handful of people without adding speculation about my drinking problem into the mix!

To be fair I'm finding the delivery of gin twice in one week quite funny.

Rrross, typical. It's like that waiting for a bus analogy. Bloody hell, you have a lot on your plate, I'm in awe you're being so strong. No way would I post anything like that on fb. I've seen two people post something similar and automatically I know something has recently happened they've freaked out about and have a bit of a drink problem. Both are still drinking now. I wouldn't mind mentioning a year or so down the line I've stopped but I'll never make an announcement about it. Hate the thought of nosey beggers gossiping about me.

Three weeks today!!! This is the most I've done in the last year.

Still have to talk to dp. Last night wasn't a good night for it. I was exhausted and had a hard day with various other things that had happened. I am going to have to however as last night she wouldn't stop going on about bloody wine. She's off it for a few weeks due to being on tablets that wouldn't mix well, completely normal drinker but likes a glass or two Fri or Sat. 'She'd love a glass of wine, hasn't had wine in a few weeks, wanted wine and steak last night, wine and steak go so well together. Wine, wine, wine'. I wanted to shout would she shut the hell up about it (ok maybe I just noticed it more, normally would wash over my head) Saturday nights I find hard enough. Instead I went really quiet to the point she commented on that later. Realistically I know I'm being sensitive and will have to get used to people mentioning it.

Still here for a Sober Sunday, have a great day everyone. KOKO

Day 13 for me and I can feel my resolve cracking. Dh is annoying me today for some reason I can't quite put my finger on. He is going out to watch the footy later (which I am glad about as I hate footy and prefer he watches it out of the house). I just want to crack open the red wine. It hasn't bothered me whatsoever, but today for some reason, I really want a drink.

I wouldn't mind mentioning a year or so down the line I've stopped but I'll never make an announcement about it. Hate the thought of nosey beggers gossiping about me

Exactly. I have a friend who constantly posts about sober smugness on Facebook and has now added her fortnight old gym habit and sugar free living to her timeline. She's starting to get on my nerves.

Has DP not noticed that you're no longer drinking? I'm not too bothered about DH drinking but I get really pissy when he drinks from my nice shot glasses that I have no use for. I'm a dog in a manger!

Hang on in there Donald. Try and remember why you stopped in the first place and how shit day one is.

The feeling has passed now. But I really feel rather irriatated today. I have distracted myself. We are getting a new kitchen fitted and at the moment, we have the most basic of facilities. E.g. an oven and a sink and that is it. No work surfaces or anything. I think that is the crux of my annoyance tbh.

That sounds like the sort of person I'd be unfollowing for a while People drinking in my company doesn't usually phase me, it was simply the repetitive going on about it. In fairness I wasn't in the greatest of moods anyway, still aren't and youngest messing around now at bedtime isn't improving it any. No hasn't noticed yet as I'm 'doing dry January'.

Things like that are annoying Donald it'll be worth it in the end, keep thinking of that Hope you're feeling better tonight.

It's very quiet on here of late... Is everyone hiding in Dry January somewhere... I'm missing the banter!

Just wanted to share 50 days sober today... (woohoo)

Feeling oddly detached from it all currently, almost like it's someone else. I'm not even sure I can put it into words effectively, but I think I knew deep down that this (sobriety) HAD to come, that in reality there was no other option, so it feels a little inevitable and a done deal before it is. Maybe I am just over thinking it...

Another positive seems to be the effect it's having on others around... My parents have switched to a number of AF products, which can only be good for them. Stayed at a friends over the weekend and his wife had very kindly bought a range of AF wine, and we then discovered AF gin and tonic in the CO-OP - but she ended up not drinking on Friday night, as a combination of things, not just to keep my sober company - but neither of them could remember the last Friday night she didn't have a glass of wine (and she's not a big drinker) - I think it encourages people to think about what they are drinking.... Another friend has kicked wine in favour of 'the odd gin and tonic' in an attempt to cut down - in her own words 'she's not brave enough to cut it (alcohol) out completely'.

Don't forget how brave we all are... I think the tide is turning, albeit slowly.....

Onwards, ever onwards.....

Congratulations on 50 days BGJ.

Any chance you could pop over and babysit my kids while I go to the co-op in my dressing gown and slippers?

Rrrosss would love to, but I'm at work.... til midnight

The AF G&T wasn't too bad - the AF wine was just too sweet for me.... but the G&T was passable with a slice of lime in it..... Enjoying the odd Becks Blue, perhaps because beer doesn't taste like anything else - the AF G&T and wine just taste like other things, fizzy drinks.... and I only ever have one or two of the beers, not the previous drink tem all until there's none left....

The irony is I'm utterly surrounded by booze here at work - 1000s of litres of the stuff.....

Was thinking myself it's very quiet the last little while.

Absolutely marvellous on the 50 days BGJ, shaking the pompoms for ya!! Did you treat yourself at all? I never knew there was such a thing as AF g&t. Partial to a becks blue myself every now and again but haven't had one in months. Will put it on the shopping list for next time.

Well dp and I had 'the talk'. She knew something had been up with me the last while as I've been very quiet - not like me Told her about my past when I was really bad alcohol wise and why I was sober when we first met. How I was concerned about my starting to binge drink again and I need to stop as I can't run the risk of it sliding down to that level once more. Took it really, really well. Actually she made me bloody cry (and I'm not a crier) by saying how strong and courageous I was back then and now facing my problems and she'd be there to support me fully. I feel about a stone lighter emotionally. Also a weird mixture of being slightly apprehensive but relieved there's no backing out now, full accountability.

Thanks for the thanks.... no treats yesterday, but I have plans for 100 days.....

I hadn't seen the AF gin before either.... not sure I would buy routinely, but it wasn't all bad - oddly I think it made more difference to my friends to be able to offer something 'known'...

I'm now finding other people's reactions quite interesting, and I do love to people watch..... it speaks volumes about our overall relationship with booze, I think there are many people who know they need to cut down or stop but have no idea how to... we are the bracve pariahs (hope that's the right word)....

Off out for some fresh air and exercise

Ohh super secret plans or can you share?

I think you've hit the nail on the head. I was nervous about saying as I was projecting my own feelings onto it. How I would feel having a partner that didn't drink? Maybe a sense of it would be boring or they wouldn't be as fun. As you say it speaks about my relationship to alcohol more than anything. As she is a very moderate drinker usually except when I influenced her otherwise, she really didn't care.

It's not a secret, something like: www.dowerandhall.com/product/sterling-silver-hammered-twinkle-ring/7476/twinkle-rings/24

Not quite sure which exact one yet... or even toying with layering the really thin ones - so one at 100, and other at 200 etc... keep the momentum going.

Feels a little frivolous, when in reality I should have quite the booze forever ago, but I must be saving a fortune, and L'oreal - I'm worth it!!

vidorra our DPs sound very similar... mine just glad I have stopped the self destructive streak! And getting their head around the fact they are not 'drinking alone' if we don't join in, but are still enjoying each others company...

Onwards...

BGJ2 Congratulations on your 50 days! that's a massive achievement :)

I LOVE those rings and think that's a great idea to stack the little ones, with your own milestones attached to it...I might even do the same thing!

I love them BGJ, really good idea. I bought a tablet last 100 days I reached but I'm going to follow your example and get some jewellery this time. Unfortunately I can't do rings as my fingers randomly swell throughout the day, always done that.

Damn right, you're worth it It's nice to have something you can wear with pride as to what you've achieved.

Well done on telling your partner Vidorra, bet you feel hugely relieved

I do Loubilou. It's a weight off to think I can be truthful now. I was beginning to feel like I was hiding a large part of my past and my present and I hated not being honest with her. I told her about being on recovery sites, going to AA before and that so now I can mention those things or tell her if I'm not feeling strong enough to go out some night. She did cringe thinking to how many times she mentioned booze over the weekend but I can't live in a bubble even if it did irritate me at the time

In other news, I have just sorted my recycling for the morning. The only glass thing was one jar of coffee I'll never get bored of that smug feeling leaving it out rather than carrying out the boxes oh so carefully so they don't clink too much and wondering if the bin men were judging me.

Ah, the recycling... A poignant example of drinking being a problem, if it's a problem....

My recycling bin is always filled to the brim by my neighbour downstairs - after they have filled their own... Their consumption is quite incredible, but for them it's not a problem, so they don't change it, or even worry about it... I think they're quite proud of it somehow!!

A problem is different things for different people...

Very slow shift tonight... need to be careful what I wish for!!

Vidorra I'm so glad she's being supportive, sounds like you've got a keeper there.

I'm tempted to jump on the ring bandwagon too. I'm making a ring at the moment. I've been making the bloody thing since September and I'm not even close to being finished! Maybe by a year sober...

Ah the recycle bin thing, forgot about that, I remember I bought a can crusher thing, it hid how much I drank as you couldn't see the cans as easy, stopped the cans from making the noise when emptying them, and left loads of room in the bin....I was a genius, or so I thought, the easier way would have been to drink less!!!

I ended up making trips to the bottle bank part of my weekly routine to keep the evidence away from even the people who pick up the glass...

I shudder when i think about that now...

I must have expended so much energy facilitating and keeping my alcohol intake secret i'm surprised i had time for anything else.

Ah yes, I used to put some into the main bin, one in each bag, less chance of clinking when emptied I believed. Or hide loads under the sink and put them out over a bank holiday so it would simply look like I had a party.

I thought I was being quite clever, in reality the sneaky behaviour that I spent so much time thinking about and planning is simply sad.

I'm impressed you are making your own ring Rrross, how did you go about that? Are you self taught or have previous experience? I did a spot of jewellery making in the past but never progressed past easy necklace and beads type thing.

Ugh bad mood tonight. Can't quite place the feeling, ran through HALT but none of those. More restless, impatient, wanting something to do but unable to concentrate on anything.

Tried a bath but between one child calmouring for the toilet, one nosing through my room and dropping stuff and then the front door knocking, I was in and out like a yoyo and it was far from relaxing.

Luckily the closest thing to alcohol in my house is Becks Blue and I'm in my pjs so not moving out the rest of the night. Might try an early night, youngest permitting.