DRY 16

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If you're quitting alcohol for a brighter sober future come and join us here. A very welcoming bunch supporting each other every step of the way.

Link to Dry 15

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2726334-Dry-15?msgid=65047780#65047780

Having a wobbly day today myself, spoke to DW last night, no chance of a reconciliation, said she hadn't loved me for at least three years.....Niece getting married Ina few weeks and she is away out for high tea with all my fucking family....sons birthday party in a few hours so I get to sit and be the bastard in the corner with all her family......

Keep thinking she used me for money to get DSD raised and now she is at university she knows I'll have to pay maintenance for DS.

Disciplinary thing coming up in work ....could be spring before that is dealt with and in the meantime I'm sitting where I can do pretty much bugger all until bigwigs get their finger out......what's the effing point.

i'm so sorry to hear that user that sucks.

I dont have any advice but that that you know that drinking would only make everything worse really.

thinking of you.

user - stay strong. I didn't.

Last night. Just shite.

Am not back at the beginning. Have learned too much of how good life can be without alcohol and cigarettes. IF I "could turn back time" I wouldn't be in this state now.

Do anything whatsoever. Just please don't have a drink.

yes I do feel like an AF warrior - just last night the bastard got in. And it's out again.

user you KNOW there is a point

The hugest hug and hand hold for all who are struggling and those who are hurting.....

But you're on here, and actually that's a great thing, it's a measure of how far you've already come, and how much stronger you are than you can ever realise.......

It's the hardest thing to face our demons, because doing nothing, ignoring it and hoping it will all sort itself out is the easiest option - tomorrow never comes, so grab onto today, keep logged on and keep chatting...

I sound like a sanctimonious mare, sorry, but just wanna encourage us all... we deserve it - L'Oréal, we're worth it!!

Oddly it's when I tell my friends I've joined an online support group they realise how serious it is..... but THIS has been the easiest part - go team!!

Liver test results to come this week, and that's a bit serious..... just need to (wo)man up!!

one day, today, at a time.....

Love to all ❤️

Thanks sobersarah and you have done fantastic to stay alcohol free when under stress. I do hope things become easier for you soon wrt your situation.

Sounds like you have lot going on user. Breakups are always horrendous but it will not change anything or make it easier to pick up a drink. I know, I buried my feelings at the bottom of a bottle when my lt relationship broke up. It made it incredibly messy - think drunken calls and texts full of anger. I didn't really come to terms with it as quick as I might have done with a clear head.

Eek BG, I'm terrified of getting a liver function test done. Is there any particular reason you are or just for peace of mind? Best of luck for it.

Not doing too bad tonight, dp automatically lifted out for a wine glass for me but I'm not feeling any pangs watching her drinking. It will be a few days on when the memory fades of my hangover and how bad I felt that will be testing.

Hope everyone has a lovely night and it's good to be back (in a way, you know what I mean)

good to know you are going strong BGJ.

Spent today food shopping and cooking for family. And thinking as to what went wrong - NOT beating myself up.

The doctor suggested the liver test, it makes sense with the amount of drink I was consuming.... but the thought of it did put me off making that first step for too long.....

Someone on here said along the lines of my liver has never had a better chance than now! It's in better condition after 20 AF days than if I kept drinking for those 20 days.......

I need to know one way or another, but fingers crossed for a relieved outcome!!

Yoga done and in bed now... training tomorrow at 8 with uplifting bunch!

Love you guys

Hi Guys,

Thanks for the support, things still not brilliant, but have calmed a bit, went out to an AA meeting, one of the older guys knows a bit of what is going on and pulled me to the side...had a good chat

During the meeting DW was phoning to make sure I was okay and not suicidal - left ds at party with her as I couldn't handle it. Ended up having a good chat with DW on phone on the way up - I know she has unresolved issues because of me drinking, she was crying on the phone and Im hoping she is starting to realise Im not the same man I was when I was drinking

At home, just a a mahoosive bar of choclate and I am going to stick on a film

likeahurricane what a beautiful post, Thank you so much for that it was really uplifting and some very wise words

I haven't had anything since which is a huge huge step forward to previous thought processes. Who was it that said about the WW lumbering herself up, going to the gym etc whilst we have been away was so right! Love that analogy

She is STRONG and back with a vengeance and of course my mind has gone "well is Christmas, take the next two weeks off and get back in it in the new year" blah blah bloody blah.....it's also been the weekend which is always tougher but nope I haven't succumbed. What's is scary is the whole 3 months of not drinking has almost fallen away in my mind and it has properly felt like days 1 and 2 again....frightening!

But no I haven't touched it.....

Welcome Oldies - nice to see some of you back!

KOKO everyone xx

"Limbering up"

It was me that said it Lou - but I didn't come up with it, I stole it from someone else.

Yes its scary how a good few months or even years of sobriety can all fall away after sometimes just one night or even one drink :( . Which is why its important not to do it. Or if any of us do, to get straight back onto sobriety immediately. The longer we drink the worse it gets.

Hi all
Just checking in to see how everyone is doing... as always a very inspiring thread to read. two weeks in today, which I haven't done since I was pregnant. Do sometimes wish I could have a drink but so prefer the mornings and days without the hangover, and the patience I have to deal with kids in the middle of the night that need a cuddle / bed changed / taken to the loo is amazing, before I would have been sooooo growly, like a bear with a sore head! They had started going to their dads side of the bed because they didnt want to wake me up :( they are back to waking me now though lol.

Have been treating myself to lots of AF things too... lovely juices, hot chocolate, delicious herbal teas, chocolate, did I mention chocolate?! I think I may have to have a bit of a sugar detox in the new year.

lou well done for getting straight back on it with a positive mindset!

Hi captain four weeks today for me sober and it's so fab isn't it. Love the thought of you being grateful for your kids waking you up because it signifies you're more patient now. Simple things

I've had an absolutely brilliant weekend - both Friday and Saturday afternoon / nights involved lots of socialising and this time six months ago would have unquestionably involved gallons of wine and monstrous hangovers. And the worst thing is it would have felt inevitable, as if I had no control over it. I don't think it has ever really occurred to me before that it is in my gift to say say no to hangovers and being smashed.

I'm particularly enjoying (smugly) going to bed on a Sunday night and not dreading facing work colleagues after our work do on Friday night. I can remember every conversation! This would be a major source of anxiety usually. Instead I am going to sleep grateful for my own sobriety and mindfulness.

Happy Sunday all. Sending out thoughts of love and happiness.

(I'm feeling a bit soppy, sorry!)

Where is everyone ? Hopefully all out enjoying sober festivities ! Almost 24 hours with no posts is exceptional. Keep going sober warriors ! Xx

Just arrived home after a carol service I organised. Few turned up, but fuck it I'm still sober

I'm still here, still sober! Thought I'd killed the thread!

Hello all :-)

Just back from an evening out with some classmates from a course I was doing. Was a 45 min drive to meet up with them and we'd arranged prior to sobriety, so my lovely husband had actually taken Monday and tues off so he could take the kids to school and I was supposed to stay the night. Great side of being sober is 1. I had a great time, 2. I get to sleep in my lovely bed, 3. I'm. Not going to be hungover and feeling crappy tomorrow. Plus they had some delicious mocktails so I didn't feel deprived. Would have been much more expensive to spend the night and all in I'm so pleased with the positive outcome choosing not to drink has been.

user I would have come to your carol service. I love carols. La la la la laaaa

Im here! Have a horrid bug as do rest of family so we spent first day of holidays today a lot in separate rooms resting, playing with our phones/tablets/sleeping/reading and later together watching crap tv. Good job we have several loos in our house is all I can say :(

Hi, I'd like to join you. Tomorrow I will be three weeks sober. I've been reading the Sober Revolution book (bought it a year ago then got creative with excuses to drink) and I'm working through the six week plan (which I ordered from Amazon and opened in the pub over a glass of wine FFS!) I have stopped drinking many many times but then I listen to the voice that says "you can just have one, it's fine" and within a week I'm back to a bottle or more of wine a day and everything descends into chaos.

I had this notion that I'd reach rock bottom and have some kind of epiphany and never drink again. I thought something dramatic would happen. Then I realised that I'd been at rock bottom for ages, months of scraping along. I was constantly anxious, constantly self medicating with the booze, lying, hiding things (empty bottles mainly), being flakey, not engaging with my kids. Everything was about the wine.

So I'm on day 20. I'm finding the Sober Revolution stuff really useful as a means of focusing on the positives and I don't open my advent calendar until bed time so I have a sober reward to look forward to every day.
Last night was tough, DH is away and I felt really anxious and the idea of wine to make it all better was right there. In fact it was there from about 2pm yesterday. I distracted myself with chocolate cake. Chocolate is about 90% of my diet at the moment.
I'm becoming aware that I'm going to need support after I've finished the sober revolution six weeks. If anyone has any recommendations I'd be grateful. I'm thinking of carrying on with a diary type thing to help my focus (I did it to help lose weight years ago and I've maintained the weight loss so I figure it works for me - that said the weight was creeping back on with the booze and the hangover carb fests). I dunno what else to do.

This week I have the challenge of a wedding. It's not so much the wedding itself as sleeping in a hotel afterwards without any knockout juice.

Also I'm in a dilemma over Christmas food. Things like chocolate truffles, Christmas cake, braised cabbage that contain alcohol. Do I avoid them? DH says he honestly doesn't think that a helping of Christmas pud will have me running to the sauvignon blanc but I worry that it's somehow cheating. I dunno, my head's a shed.

Sorry for the length of this. This is me sober, imagine the amount of shite I spouted when I was drinking!

Rrrross welcome. Congratulations on 20 days - that's brilliant.

You are in the right place for support. This board is wonderful - I certainly wouldn't have made it this far without the ladies here - now we have a gent too !

A diary is a good idea. Have you thought about starting a blog. I have one and I find it really therapeutic. The sober blogosphere is a fantastic place. A while back someone did a really useful list of blogs and other great stuff to try - sobersarah was it you ?

As far as support in real life is concerned you could try AA or SMART Recovery - I have tried SMART and I don't think it's for me. In the New Year I am going to set up a support group myself

On the Christmas food point it's a matter of personal choice. Personally I won't be having boozy food - I will be choosing alcohol free versions or just not having them. I never really liked alcohol in food anyway but I don't know what effect it would have. I know I can't drink. Sometimes it helps to think of it as an allergy. If you were allergic to an ingredient you wouldn't have something containing it.

Welcome Rrrross 20 days is fantastic! I have a special sober diary - the last thing I do before sleep is write in it, usually just the number of days AF next to the date or a couple of words about how the day has been, any challenges overcome, etc. I find it really helps.

Good morning everyone else. I'm pretending it's a normal working week and ignoring christmas on the horizon. I'm really reliant on routine and it helps.

Welcome rrross and well done on your 20 days.

I've been here since June and second it as a great source of support.

Re your dilemmas, as others have said (and no doubt will have more ideas) the key is to plan - e.g. not having Christmas pudding or brandy butter.

I hear you re hotels - when I travel I go for a walk or do something e.g. last trip I got some hair dye and did my roots. I have sleepy music to listen to on my phone to help me drop off.