Husband wants his ears pierced

[welshgirlcharlotte]

Thoughts?

What a patronising comment.

I'd love to see how the thread would have gone if a man had asked about his wife getting her ears pierced. I wonder if there would have been people telling him 'yuk' and how it's a 'deal breaker'? In my opinion it's fine to say that's not to your taste but some of the responses would have been torn apart if said about a woman.

Nerr It's not the same thing. At the moment, societal conventions wider than Mumsnet are that it is socially acceptable for women to have pierced ears as well as wear makeup, hair extensions, hair colours that are clearly not natural, nail extensions, lash extensions, high heels, low cut tops and could probably wear all of these whilst still doing a high powered role. Rightly or wrongly, If a man currently turned up to work wearing all of these it would look like he was emulating a woman according to today's societal conventions, rather that a man simply expressing his taste. Obviously there's no real reason why men can't do all of this if they want, but at the moment it would stick out in society.

So to suggest you can compare this to a man asking about his wife getting her ears pierced - it's not really comparable. Obviously a lot depends on style. There are styles for men where they could wear jewellery, ear piercings, makeup and high heels (stacked boots etc) without looking like they were emulating a woman, but they tend to not be mainstream looks and are still not exactly the same as the female styling.

My dp has his tragus and helix pierced (one on either ear) I think it looks great but must admit I'm not into lobe piercings on men

So that makes it fine for someone to judge someone else's choice as 'nasty and yuk'. In my opinion if a grown adult wants tattoos and piercings then it's up to them, there are many tattoos and piercings I wouldn't choose but doesn't make anyone else's choice nasty.

I'm guessing these attitudes contribute to why if men want to wear make up or some jewellery they can't because they would be judged, although it's fine for women to wear historically masculine stuff. Each to their own.

Nerr I don't agree with the 'yuk' and 'deal breaker' although we are all a reflection, to various degrees, of our own societal conventions generally, so it's more a societal reaction than necessarily a personal/controlling one, which it would be if a man was asking about his wife getting her ears pierced - because that is (rightly or wrongly) currently a societal norm so it would be far more of a personal than a societal objection in that case.

It IS up to a grown adult if they want tattoos and piercings but if it's outside of societal norm then it is going to create more notice or interest.
Also most of us take into consideration to some degree or other what our partners/families/friends/workplaces think of 'against the norm' looks.

To some, the 'perfect' society would be where everyone could wear everything without question. But to others, it's 'perfect' to them that there are boundaries and conformance to certain looks and styles. Sometimes, I agree, it seems unfair like when (as you say) women can adopt whatever masculine look they like as well as feminine and that's fine, whereas it's far more restrictive for men.

'Sitting on a stool in Claire's accessories'....

I may be a bit old fashioned but when i see guys of a certain age with ear piercings i just think its so chavvy but pay me no heed as i think women with visible tattoos is low class too.

I am very old but when I was 21, newly married and working in the City, one lunchtime I went out with a friends and had my ears pierced with small gold hoops. When I got home DH asked why I hadn't 'asked him' before I made the decision, got angry then didn't speak to me for a couple of days.
Ashamed to say that at the time I didn't see much wrong with his comment.
Mind you, he did later threaten me with a shotgun after I ran away. So the writing was on the wall.
I did eventually LTB.

Agree Jenny.

A leather waistcoat will be next. Just say no.

Waistcoats - 2...black suede x1, black leather x1.
Piercings - 3...left ear x1, nipples x2. (have had them for about 20 years)

Am I going to MN hell?

You're already there

You mean this is really NM?

Ask him to get his tongue pierced as well while he's at it. I'm serious, it's AWESOME - you won't complain ;-)

Viviene12 Just curious with tongue piercings - has anyone ever been french kissed (tongue, not nationality) and accidentially swallowed the ball piercing?

accidentally not accidentially

Oh btw, I do have a very clean full beard.

Upper or lower?

Both.

Prince Albert isn't half bad either
Though he'll need to sit to pee as it drips off the hoop

he'll probably do it then get bored of it a few weeks later, whereas trying to prevent him doing it might make it into some sort of pride issue..IIWY I'd let him do it

Claire's sell small silver hoops for unpierced ears. My young DD has them. They look the part. Get your DH some to begin with and hope it's just a phase.

If he's already got the biker look going on or is Adam Ant go for it.

His ears his choice ultimately...but you can rip the piss mercilessly if he goes ahead.

Ozzie I have never heard of it so definitely haven't happened to anyone I know.

Over 40 year old man wanting earrings....

Can anyone else now not picture the OPs husband as anyone else but David Essex...