Ex DH has really upset me.....

[Severino]

I separated from DH at Christmas time. There was a lot of financial stuff and EA and it's been a tough year (he is nice one minute then vile the next) but definitely the right thing for us all long term.
This week he told me has met someone else. I'm fine with that, pleased actually as maybe he will stop hassling me a bit. But tonight he just sent me a text 'for my own good - for future relationships' saying I should have my Labia cut back as it's such a turn off, men hate it and he wishes he'd told me even before we got married. For some reason this has completely floored me, I feel so upset. Of course I know I'm not the most attractive down there but to me a loving relationship goes way beyond that kind of thing? Maybe it's not as nice for men as a neat one, but surely we all come in different shapes and sizes and no one is perfect and we accept and love our partners for how they are. I would never have a cosmetic operation such as that anyway but I just feel so humiliated that he has spelt it out to me. I actually am not looking for another relationship at all but I feel he has totally sullied the final aspect of the relationship we had. Everything else was crap, now it seems the sex was too.

Don't reply, although lots of these suggestions are fun to think about sending

He has truly shown his colours, thank goodness you are no longer with him. I don't have words for just how disgusting he is as a human being. And he obviously isn't into the new girlfriend all that much if he is still obsessing about you. He has literally only said this to make you feel awful. This is the worst thing he could think of. What does that say about him? It reminds me of that saying "Bitterness is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies". He's a miserable, angry little man.

My ex is similar. Don't reply (I know you didn't.) they want the reaction.

Also if he carries on sending personal abusive messages then you can report him for malicious communication.

Take a screenshot and file it away.

Even better, create a Gmail account for his shit and use SMS backup app to automatically gather these.

I have no idea what my bits look like. Who cares. Seriously. Nasty sad man.

Couldn't read this an not post.

He's an absolute arse and controlling shit. Probably feeling insecure that you'll move on like he has and is trying to undermine your confidence in future relationships. You are so well rid of him !

He may look better on the outside however he is still the vicious, inadequate, impotent, fat cunt he was before.

If he is so happily and loved up why is he giving you let alone your personal bits a thought?

I have considered a labia reduction. Mine are very long and get caught sometimes which is unpleasant.

Not one single bloke has ever commented about them (not 100s honest!) . That is how little they care when they are getting laid.

Chin up and shrug this off as another of he attempts to hurt you.

mermaidtears I salute you!
'Practically moved into my vagina is absolutely brilliant!!

I think despite the cruelty of this man, I'd have to respond with something as cutting and light hearted as that to let him know that I am not sitting at home crying.

I mean, I would be doing exactly that but hell would freeze over before I let him know that.

He's projecting.

My ex said I smelled down below.

It worried me a lot, but i didn't react

It was all lies, one of many to hurt me and upset me.

Ignore him, he's the insecure one, knowing that his girlfriend will see through him for the cunt he is soon enough.

Ha like any man ever cares about that!!

He's trying to stop you shagging someone else.

What a nasty man

What an absolute cunt. He clearly hasn't moved on quite as much as he'd like to think he has if he's still thinking about your labia.

No doubt you are well rid of him!

And obviously what he said is utter nonsense. Has he done a poll of all men to come to that conclusion? No, I thought not!

'Me and my unclipped lips would like to take this moment to point out that despite all of the hours you continue putting in at the gym, you will always be a detestable fat fuck on the inside. My condolences to the poor unfortunate who now has to deal with your small, droopy cock. Best of luck to the pair of you '

He sounds like a total shithead OP. You are well rid!

What an astonishing asshole! This smacks of a last desperate attempt to control your future, a final throw of the dice. And the mark of a man who is scared of you. I'm so glad you're treating it with the contempt it deserves.

Saddo porn user who views women as a collection of parts for his pleasure. Convicted out of his own mouth really isn't he?

Agree it's a pathetic and transparent attempt to stop you moving on and really not the action of someone who is blissfully happy in his new life whatever he claims - how satisfactory!

Hope your next relationship is with a decent person.

Wish your child didn't have to spend time with such a nasty piece of work.

Disgusting thing to say!!! Don't you give it another second's and also don't forget that some men find it a massive turn on!

I like Obsidian's response, especially the bit " it's sweet that you tried so hard* what a kicker!

Absolutely the best thing to do is ignore. However if it was me, I probably would respond scathingly and do the celebrate my labia t shirt as suggested somewhere near the beginning of the thread.

What a cunt. Take pleasure that him doing the gym thing as well as trying to hurt you is based on his deep seated insecurities. And because he's a cunt.

I feel more sorry for his new partner....she's probably got no idea what he's like!

There is something truly wrong with that man, I am so sorry you had to hear that.
A real man will love your labia, be they Venus fly trap or dragonsnap! Honestly, what an evil evil little man to send that message. I would have been floored too. Ugh I feel so angry for you. So immature! He clearly has been spending way too much time since Xmas watching porn and deciding that's the ideal... well I feel very sorry for his new girlfriend

You could text him in a couple of days - from a new number: dear all, as you know my phone broke last week, sorry if you've tried to get in touch, here's my new number:
(Just for him though - so that you have his nastiness on a separate phone - plus you can see if he sends his cuntish text again.)

Holy Christ what an utter ballbag of a man!! These men seem to know exactly what our insecurities are and how to hit to cause maximum pain. You know in your head why he's done it, he doesn't want you to move on, he wants you always there being his emotional punch bag! He certainly doesn't want you with another man. Doesn't stop it hurting though..we all think he's a cunt!

Weird and pitiful
What kind of sad awful pond life is he?
How can he embarass himself like that, its toe curling
Really Just ignore, you can't let yourself stoop so low as to engage with such nonsense

blackistheneworange has hit the nail on the head - you were supposed to be distraught when he told you about his girlfriend and because you weren't he had to find another way to upset you. Either that or things aren't going well with the girlfriend. I'd put money on him trying to upset you everytime something doesn't go his way... ignore him it will upset him not to get a response.

OMG OP, this is awful.

Please reply to him and say; 'Thanks for your feedback and 'concern', but i'd like to reassure you that since splitting up with you I have had nothing but compliments from some really lovely, and hot guys about my labia, and some pretty damn awesome sex too. I've actually never had it so good'.

He's just trying to score points, anything that gets to you is one up for him
Don't acknowledge

If you reply or acknowledge in anyway then he knows he he has got to you
Ignore

Wow what a total fucking bastard. I hate him