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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Absolutely Livid!! dh just called a fat lazy f****ker

134 replies

Debbsyandson · 09/02/2007 22:40

im furious,only had my ds 8 weeks ago,have lost most of my baby weight,i do all the nite feeds nappy changes baths washing cleaning and admittedly theres not always a meal done when he gets home from work.But for fucks sake i am a new mum!!!Feel like walikng through the door with ds and not coming back he has really really hurt me.

OP posts:
Chloe55 · 10/02/2007 18:32

Some of us would love to be at home with their baby as appose to be having to go out to work. make the most of your time with your ds Debbs, it's true what they say about them growing up quick.

Do you have some family support, maybe you could go and stay with them for a bit of rest and recuperation, it is so hard in those first few weeks, particularly if you are more or less doing it alone.

I hope you get things sorted out - this should be a happy time for you, yeah stressful (it must be for everyone) but definitely happy.

Chloe55 · 10/02/2007 18:33

That wasn't a dig at you by the way Debbs (must re-read before posting)

Snaf · 10/02/2007 18:36

Debbsy, the problem is that you're still at home a full 8 weeks after the birth.

In Xenialand all women with IQs over 60 should be up-and-at-'em and showing the boys who's boss no later than the mandatory 6 weeks post-birth. Anything else is just skiving. You see?

littlemissbossy · 10/02/2007 18:37

Debbsyandson, agree with other posters, enjoy your DS every moment of him. If your DH wants a meal on the table and the house to be spotless, tell him to employ the services of a housekeeper!
BTW the post telling him "I can loose the baby weight but you'll always have a small cock" is an excellent idea

Original poster
Debbsyandson · 10/02/2007 18:38

oh i see

OP posts:
Original poster
Debbsyandson · 10/02/2007 18:38

i know it wasnt chlo

OP posts:
Original poster
Debbsyandson · 10/02/2007 18:40

lmb i will every waking moment im only off till june

OP posts:
littlemissbossy · 10/02/2007 18:46

I was off with my youngest, my other 2 had a Nanny whilst I worked all the hours god sent, so I've seen both sides of the coin IYSWIM. And yes I admit, giving up the career and the car and all the perks was a hard choice but I don't regret it one bit. You enjoy every minute because June will be here before you know it and they DO grow up two soon, my eldest is a teenager (for gods sake!)

daisynut · 10/02/2007 18:48

xeina FFS do not turn this into a thrtead about u and your views with working mums/not. it's not on this is deb's thread about her and her DH not about the inexality in her marrige - it might have suited u to go abck to work when your child was a few weeks old but what's rgith for u isn't for everyone.

daisynut · 10/02/2007 18:50

agree with the growing up bit.

could you take any unpaid leave/annual leave b4 returning?

Original poster
Debbsyandson · 10/02/2007 19:16

i am taking a month extra should be going back may but because of the nature of my job(and i know it sounds really selfish)i have to go back in june to sustain the position i hold and the money i earnMunz you know what i mean with the company i work for.

OP posts:
daisynut · 10/02/2007 19:21

yes I know see how you feel when you get back - I was always determined to reurn but once I awas there (did a few odd mornings) all I could think of was getting home and what J would be doing etc.

swifterella · 10/02/2007 19:39

just wanted to say . what a nobhead, they really dont think do they?? has he tried to apologise yet?? what he said was so disrespectful if nothing else. Your the mother of his son

Oh and ignore Xenia, she is utterly mad

Original poster
Debbsyandson · 10/02/2007 20:26

lol yes i know he is
well he has been trying to chat to me since ive come in he has done my tea for me (dinner)chicken and salad one of my favs with thick french stick mmmm lovely.
asked me why im so upset bastard!!!
then said it was only a figure of speech not in my vocabulary it isnt wanker !!!!!!!!(sorry for swearing only swear when im annoyed and boy am i annoyed
Oh and that was it i bathed ds put jim a lovely dressing gown we have brought for him he said he looked lovely and we would have to save it for his little brother or sister as he no comprehension on how he has made me feel the wanker twat bastard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
fransmom · 10/02/2007 20:29

what ios that person on? i am trying not to swear as much this year

hows you today debs? hope ds has settled after jabs. i am also a wothm and fwiw i would also rather be at home with my gorgeous daughter, (even tho she has een poorly i have had a lovely week with her but am back at work tomorrow.) just make sure you take lots of tissues with you (well, ones that can fit in your pocket) - the first day back can be a bit surreal-it can feel like you've forgotten something.

i would so love a masasge and a facial i hope you enjoyed it a lot

Original poster
Debbsyandson · 10/02/2007 20:34

thanks Fran i konw im dreading going back to work,but money doesnt grow on trees.
massage was great thanks hes creeping now well he can piss off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
fransmom · 10/02/2007 20:40

oh gawd that sounds familiar they really don't have any idea how we feel do they? i've also had to tell him that he can't speak to dd in a harsh voice as he sometimes does when he's fed up with her and doesn't know how to cope. then he wonders why she gets upset and won't talk to him and then why i have a go at him for not doing it in the first place

i have to work as well, wouldn't i be great if those who needed it had a money tree in their garden? guess i need a garden first..... lol

Original poster
Debbsyandson · 10/02/2007 20:43

lol they are a completely different entity to us arent they?

OP posts:
fransmom · 10/02/2007 20:46

well it's no wonder they talk out their arses if that's how they keep their brains warm

has any1 found out if they're from the same planet yet?

swifterella · 10/02/2007 20:47

the thing is you'll always remember that he said that to you. What an idiot

fransmom · 10/02/2007 20:48

most men have a memory bypass as soon as they've been to sleep. my (d)p is the same tho he seems to be going thru a good patch at mo shhhhh lol

Original poster
Debbsyandson · 10/02/2007 20:52

yes i will like i said to my mum hes put it in my head and i cant get it out now,even though he said he didnt mean anything by it what did you mean then? Still keeps trying to talk to me ds asleep in his moses basket downstairs hes watching honeymooners ive taken myself off to bed with a hot water bottle for my leg and some painkillers.Then he has just come up and asked if i want to watch it with him lets think NO I BLOODY DONT !!!!!!!!!!!!!! [ANGRY][ANGRY]

OP posts:
Original poster
Debbsyandson · 10/02/2007 20:53

grin] i meant

OP posts:
mygirllolipop · 10/02/2007 21:34

Message withdrawn

Frizbe · 11/02/2007 11:13

Hi Debs, hope you've managed to stop seething enough at dh to sort things out with him by now??? if you can't bring yourself to talk to him, I suggest you write to him, just so you can watch him grovel somemore, ya gotta remember men deal with things then its over, its only women who brood, and they just don't get why we do! if you don't tell him, he just won't get it.

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