Should I ring this number

[NameChanged2333]

Apologies - this may be confusing

My DP went out last night and didn't come home. This morning he has made two phone calls to a number that has a picture of a woman on the contacts but no name.
He claims it's the number of the girlfriend of the friend he stayed at and his phone ran out of charge so he used my DP's phone to call her this morning. His friend hadn't remembered the (new) girlfriends number but in anticipation of losing his charger in the morning had got her to ring his phone (when they were out and she wasn't with them). Then this morning after his friend's phone ran out of charge and he couldn't find the charger, he woke my DP up to phone his girlfriend with the conveniently stored number.

My DP then blocked the "girlfriend's" number in his phone so she didn't call him and I "wouldn't give him shit"

I thought it was bullshit but as I'm typing that I'm even more convinced I'm being spun a lie.

Shall I ring it? I risk looking like a twunt if he is telling the truth don't I?

[NameChanged2333]

Poppy - why would his friend get his girlfriend to ring my boyfriend's phone on the off chance that when he gets back to his own home, his phone will be dead and he won't be able to find the charger - eight hours later? Then why would my DP block said number?

I am genuinely interested in a contrary opinion because I want to believe him (sad sap that I am)

[pipsqueak25]

name what advice would you give to a friend in the same situation ? you say yourself that this crap has happened before, for gods sake pull up the big girl knickers and kick ass as you say you can you are able to do. mners don't know you or the rl situation but we can make opinions on what you've told us and we're giving it.

[NameChanged2333]

And why have I had a torrent of abuse about "going on" at him for going out - not outrage at the fact I think he would cheat on me?

[NameChanged2333]

pip - I would tell her to LTB.
I know this. I know it's what I should do.

[AnyFucker]

Then why don't you ? Why are you any less deserving of respect in a relationship ?

[AcrossthePond55]

I'd wait a couple of days then have another friend call the number and ask for the alleged boyfriend by first name. If it's bullshit she'll say 'Sorry, wrong number', if it's true she'll either say 'he's not here', 'Bob who?' or something of that nature.

Or save yourself the trouble (and future heartache) and make plans to LTB simply because he sounds like a real prick.

[NameChanged2333]

AF I've asked myself that many times.
As always it's not uncomplicated - tied up in business together and loads of other bullshit excuses.
I have today on the advice of a friend (admittedly a couple of months ago) booked myself some counselling sessions and the first one is next week. She went through something similar - she knew what was happening, knew it was abusive and knew she was more deserving but something always stopped her leaving him. Counselling helped her put her ducks in a row. I'm hoping it will help get me through what is going to be a really shit time. As things stand he's not coming home and the rage (surprisingly enough) isn't making me waiver.
You're right, I am no less deserving of respect in our relationship.

[AnyFucker]

Well, I guess change won't happen until you are ready.

[Eminado]

This girl is neither here or there - his behaviour to you is relationship-ending.

There is no justification in the world for the way he has treated you today. Absolutely none. You do not deserve this.

Story makes no sense.
He acts like a dick to you.
The end.

I am for you.

[skyyequake]

Tbh I don't think it matters if he's cheated on you or not. He shows you no respect, has treated you like utter crap, and clearly doesn't give a shit about your feelings.

You deserve better than this.

[PoppyPicklesPenguin]

Pip my first comment on the thread was quite the opposite! Really not me :)

Ok long explanation originally I had thought the contact was saved without a name or proper name and just a photo, which didn't make sense - but OP then said she found the photo on whatsapp and I think (i may be wrong) but if you put a number in you will see a photo even if not in your contacts.

In the first post I also said I have a friend who does this to me all the time as she is a complete PITA with her phone running out of battery. She would want to text/call her boyfriend on a nightout to say she was home safely (not happened for a while now as she has a regular one and Im more for snuggling up on the sofa with my DP and MN on a Friday night) or at XYZ persons house

So yes it's weird about the charger but maybe they were going back to another friends house (did this in my younger years) and they have different phones. So friend thinks this may happen has 50% battery worried if it does run out he will get a bollocking from his girlfriend as she might get worried. He calls from the OP DP/DH phone in the morning goes to voicemail.

Just trying to offer an explanation for the number situation.

BUT I really don't think your partner sounds very nice to you OP and as said in my first post you obviously have reasonable doubt as you checked his phone in the first place. If my DP after a night out checked mine, which he would have no reason to do I'd laugh and say what my friend had done he would roll his eyes and then ask about her latest boyfriend :) and of course he could very well be a lying cheating scumbag but only you know him well enough to know if you can trust him.

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

If she's not on his friends Facebook, she's unlikely to be a serious enough girlfriend that he couldn't go a few hours without calling her if he happened to lose his charger...

And if you were paranoid about losing your charger and therefore losing contact with your girlfriend, wouldn't you keep a closer eye on your charger?!

He's a git.

[forumdonkey]

Hmmmm an unanswered call is usually how I save numbers to my phone. I know my number and it saves faffing about typing the number in and getting it wrong. It sounds like this is what he's done, which makes me think that it's someone he's stood with rather than friends gf

[sandragreen]

Honestly, you know all you need to know about this man don't you? He behaves suspiciously and has a back catalogue of fishy behaviour. When you tell him you are concerned, he lashes out at you,calls you names, and is abusive, rather than wanting to explain and put your mind at rest.

I wouldn't bother calling her at all, I would just kick him out.

[NameChanged2333]

Thanks everyone. I know what I have to do regardless.
I will call the number again and as someone upthread suggested if he turns up will get him to ring it. ( I doubt he will).
I'm with you donkey - the initial unanswered calls were an exchange of details. I don't know if he went home with her, she with them, or they parted ways after the club/bar or exactly why the morning calls were made. I'd like to know for my own peace of mind one way or another if he has actually cheated. Whilst he's lying I can't be certain.

Just for clarity there was only the two of them out. They had no alternative but to go back to friend's. Friend's house, where charger lives

I know in relationship terms it doesn't matter and he's been a twunt. His work day is nearly over so one way or another I'm about to hear from him. More abuse no doubt.

[AnyFucker]

You don't have to tolerate the abuse. Just tell him to shut his fucking mouth and not talk to you again until he is willing to show you some respect. Then get on with your normal routine.

[Littleballerina]

Do not let him give you more abuse!
No one has the right to abuse you no matter who's right/ wrong.

[Muser54321]

Blimey, He sounds like an abusive arse. Tell her whoever she is, she can have him.

[RosieWithTheGoodCreditHistory]

You ok, OP?

[user1471439727]

This may be a little late but there is a website called "true caller", which sometimes gives the name of a person if you type in their number.

It's hit and miss, but could be worth a shot.

[Humblebee1]

I would be concerned about him not coming home from a night out full stop.

[NameChanged2333]

Rosie I'm struggling a bit if I'm honest.
Can't sleep and to be frank am heartbroken.

I know he's a twat but it hurts so much right now and despite it all I actually miss him.
On a different note - I tried that true caller thing and it gave me a name. It's not the GF's either.

[NameChanged2333]

Thanks user for the tip...

[CannotEvenDeal]

Oh shit it wasn't her name? Only just seen this thread and wide awake too if you want someone to listen.

[NameChanged2333]

No. It wasn't the girlfriend's name that came up.
I don't know how accurate it is as I hadn't heard of it before user suggested it above but it's definitely not the girlfriend's name.