Should I ring this number

[NameChanged2333]

Apologies - this may be confusing

My DP went out last night and didn't come home. This morning he has made two phone calls to a number that has a picture of a woman on the contacts but no name.
He claims it's the number of the girlfriend of the friend he stayed at and his phone ran out of charge so he used my DP's phone to call her this morning. His friend hadn't remembered the (new) girlfriends number but in anticipation of losing his charger in the morning had got her to ring his phone (when they were out and she wasn't with them). Then this morning after his friend's phone ran out of charge and he couldn't find the charger, he woke my DP up to phone his girlfriend with the conveniently stored number.

My DP then blocked the "girlfriend's" number in his phone so she didn't call him and I "wouldn't give him shit"

I thought it was bullshit but as I'm typing that I'm even more convinced I'm being spun a lie.

Shall I ring it? I risk looking like a twunt if he is telling the truth don't I?

[Scarydinosaurs]

Best of luck, I hope today is easier.

[AcrossthePond55]

Best of luck for the future. I know yours will be good. After all, we make our own luck and I know you will make yours all it should be.

[BusterGonad]

Good for you OP and can I just say it was really clever if you to record it, I'm sorry things have turned out so crap for you but I'm sure the future will be bright and full of happiness. You are at last free to be who you truly are and deserve to be xxx

[TrollTheRespawnJeremy]

Raising a glass to you OP. Good for you!

[AnyFucker]

Good luck for the future. It's got to be better than what you are walking away from

[NameChanged2333]

I have. I've stopped.

Thanks everyone.

I'm signing off now. Stopping dwelling in the past and getting on with the future- without him. Onwards and upwards!

Thanks again.

[AnyFucker]

I don't know what you have been doing. But it's time to stop, love.

[NameChanged2333]

No one saw him do it. However, I knew he would verbally abuse me so set my phone to record and it's caught it all.
I've just played it to my friend. She cried.
What the fuck have I been doing?

[AyeAmarok]

Sorry to hear this OP, can't believe he pushed you over then just left you.

You deserve so much better than this. Don't look back.

[sophiestew]

I would also report him for assaulting you. What a piece of work he is

[Balanced12]

You need to report him to the police for that OP, a) because you shold b) it might help in terms of separation later

[AcrossthePond55]

Did anyone see him push you?

[AnyFucker]

I hope this is the line you have drawn, never to go back. You know now he is a cheat and an abusive man.

You could report him to the police for assault if you wish.

[skyyequake]

Sorry that happened to you OP but glad that you've seen the light. You're a million times better off without him no matter the complications

[NameChanged2333]

Thanks everyone. Meeting another friend now for a quick drink.
I was stupid enough to go in to work to speak to him ( for some strange reason I need him to be sorry) It won't surprise you that he's not and is still blaming me.

In his desperation to get away from me he pushed me over and I banged my head. I'm fine. He left me on the floor, jumped in the car and drove off.

I'm done now. As always there's an added complication but it's not enough to make me go back there. Ever again. Number blocked and phone on do not disturb so I can screen calls.

I've tried ringing the number but she's obviously been warned and won't pick up. I feel a responsibility to her to warn her what she's getting in to but hopefully the fact she's had to be told she might get a call will be enough to tell her to steer clear. I won't bother her again. She's innocent in this and from my point of view just a symptom of the rotten disease that is him.

You've all been as important to me as my RL friends in this, so thank you

[wheelwithinawheel]

As others have said, regardless of the number or whatever went on there - his behaviour after the fact is enough to walk away. It's enough x

[wheelwithinawheel]

I'm FURIOUS on your behalf. So he behaves like a COCK in whatever capacity, he LIED after being caught out, turned verbally ABUSIVE when questioned, and is now dismissing the whole thing, and expecting you to what? Just let go and move on? This man is a DOUCHE. But I don't think you need to hear that from us. I'm so sorry, I hope you can find a way forward in whatever way is best for you.

[RunRabbitRunRabbit]

He screams abuse at you and smashes things.

So why were you looking for evidence of cheating to grant yourself permission to dump him? You had all the reason in the world already from his direct behaviour with you.

You are diverting attention from the real issue yourself. I hope the counselling helps and I hope you have now cut contact with the twatbadger.

[LizB62A]

Have you tried looking her up in Facebook, now that you know her name?

[balence49]

I wouldn't waste any time bothering about who the number is/ what he's done. He is abusive, just the being called names and shouted at would have my dh having his bags packed.

[Lotsofponies]

I am so sorry you are going through this. His response, not having to tell you anything says it all. He has no ounce of feeling or respect for you. You sound a lovely caring person. It's totally his loss. You can look forwards to moving on to a happier life. I was married to a cheating and EA bastard. When I finally found the right time to leave, aside from the practicalities, i felt a huge relief, almost straight away. Looking back I couldn't believe his he had changed and manipulated me so much. You are worth so much more than this dick.

[AnyFucker]

He has zero respect for you

[NameChanged2333]

Yep. You're right.
I had a moment of self pity in the middle of the night and allowed it to get on top of me.

I did confront him with the name. Apparently he doesn't need to tell me a thing but has stopped pretending it was the girlfriend. Won't offer an explanation as to all the lies or what happened.

Thanks all. It was exactly what I thought and he's a prize twunt.

[AndTheBandPlayedOn]

What Annie said.
He has lured you in with the "poor little boy- nobody likes me except you" manipulation.

Your relationship is not a two way street- it's one way: his way.

Sorry, but, imho, he is using you. No relationship is better than this kind of relationship.

[Anniegetyourgun]

I'm the one person in his life that's ever put themselves out there for him and all I've got is abuse. I've tried to find the best in him and help him get past his shitty behaviour but I can't get through to him.

You do realise you can't rescue someone who isn't willing to be rescued, right? You're supposed to be his partner, not his therapist or his mum.

You also have to ask yourself why no-one else puts themselves out there for him. Maybe because he won't put himself out for them?

Time to start disentangling those complicated threads that tie you to him so that your options are more fully open, I'd say. (Are they really as complicated as you think?)