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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Brave Babes...braving the Autumn

999 replies

Mrsmimsy · 14/10/2016 23:24

??? Xxx

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Fairenuff · 22/11/2016 08:39

Hi and welcome to new joiners (and 'old' rejoiners).

I guess it's that time of year when all the 'drinking stars' align - financial pressures, party invites, family stresses, food and drink often in abundance which is dangerous to those without an 'off' switch.

So many things to negotiate. I think we need a plan. We need to be prepared for the party season that is about to start. We need to take back some control.

Grin
Elba84 · 22/11/2016 08:47

Urgh I'm back into waking up and wishing I'd not drunk...definitely need to take back control. On my way out so not read back but just posting for some accountability. Need to not drink tonight.

WorkInProgess · 22/11/2016 08:58

Can I join again? Day 1 yet again and I really want to not drink tonight, feel yucky and not enjoying drinking at all. My plan is to get in as many AF days until Christmas and then do a dry January to kind of test the water for giving up for good. Anyone have a similar plan?

Fairenuff · 22/11/2016 09:05

Elba get back on it today. You can do it. At the end of that video, he talks about going into a new year. Is it going to be the same as the last one, or different?

We have to decide what we want and go for it.

kineticmagnetic · 22/11/2016 09:12

Day one today, not feeling too positive yet but hoping after a cuppa I'll be more motivated.

Fairenuff · 22/11/2016 09:18

Hi Work, I did Dry January last year and the year before. I think it's a great way to start the year because, if you can do it you know that you can do it again. If you can't do it, then maybe it's time to admit that alcohol is having more influence than you'd like.

My advice would be to grab every opportunity for a dry day. We all know how much better we feel about ourselves on those days so it's great for a positive and healthy mind.

Accept that there will be days when you drink and plan those days carefully so that you don't overdrink or let it continue into the days following the event.

All of these things help to break habits, patterns, cycles and put you back in the driving seat. For example, I have a lovely long stretch now until a planned meal out with friends on the 9th of December. That's 18 days away. Until then, I'm not going to drink. I'm going to eat well, lots of veggies and fruit. Homemade soups, one pot casseroles, roast dinners, etc. I'll drink water with ice and lemon, or lime and soda, or herbal teas (pukka detox is a favourite) and I'll go to bed early to catch up on my reading.

I've got 18 days where I'll have lovely sleep, my skin with be nourished, my hair will be styled, my wobbly bits will be less wobbly Grin and I will feel so good about myself.

That is my gift to myself. I do it a lot and I love it! Honestly, drinking just makes us feel like shit - mind, body and soul. Once you get used to not doing it so often, you really do feel so much better about yourself.

Good luck to everyone on Day 1 today, or 2 or 3...

Keep at it. Every AF day is a fantastic victory Smile

madein1995 · 22/11/2016 10:30

Hi everyone, hope you are all ok. Sorry ive not been on much but very busy working - worked 6 days out of the last 7. Manager rang this morning (my day off) and asked can I go in today 12-5? Ive said yes not sure why lol, but the money is good! Will catch up with you later. At least um not starting work til 1 tomorrow so bit of a lie in

theansweris42 · 22/11/2016 10:41

Great post faire
Morning babes. I posted earlier but it's not here Confused
Thinking of you all Brew

Diel · 22/11/2016 18:47

Well done to everyone for getting on! Whether it's day 1 (again) or otherwise!!

Love your post faire! I'm on exactly the same journey and agree with all you say. I find alcohol so enjoyable but the fall out of the feeling shit, looking worse and living on empty afterwards aren't worth it.Certainly not manageable on a regular basis.

I have no drinking plans until 17th December but starting by having an af fortnight...hopefully continue on though.

I have a secret weapon people! Been to get whitening gel moulds that I wear each night. I have been popping them in soon as kids in bed, avoiding the urge to drink...well, because you can't and those trays cost too much to be runined. My saving from wine also helping the cost :)

madein1995 · 22/11/2016 21:25

diel welcome and a huge well done! The whitening moulds sound a good incentive.

magnetic hello and well done on day 1!

I’m happy to hear about mouse. She was so nice when I first started posting on here (as was everyone) and was wondering about her.

Hello azira how has today gone?

faire I completely agree, drinking too much is very normalised this time of the year and it is very easy to slip into drinking every day ‘because it’s christmas’ as I know well. Your healthy you until the 9th plan sounds good Smile

elba sorry to hear you weren’t feeling too good this morning, how are you doing this evening?

work hello and of course you can! How is this evening going?

Work was alright, am tired now though and a bit impatient re my DBS and starting the childrens home job. The rational part of me says it’s been less than a week and it takes time, but the childish part of me is stamping me and saying ‘I want it NOW’ Grin Called the supervisors over less today though which is good! Physio went ok – I couldn’t quite do all the exercises but gave it a go. My physio has said it’s more a confidence than an ability thing and has told me to start kneeling a little bit if I can. Also said going to the gym and boxercise classes will help me. I am working tomorrow, volunteering Thursday, working Friday, Saturday and Sunday but have been told there’s no work for me Monday and Tuesday so am going to take my days off and go to the gym.

kineticmagnetic · 22/11/2016 22:00

Day 1 done, got to do my big shop tomorrow though-any tips on how to avoid the wine aisle?

dementedma · 22/11/2016 22:40

Day 2 done. But only because had a late event at work and just got in!

Fairenuff · 23/11/2016 08:58

Morning all Brew

kinetic can you do an online shop?

theansweris42 · 23/11/2016 09:44

arggh! H came round ended up having a few GnTs.
Nothing too heavy but back to Day 1.
And have an event Friday so this week will have to be aas good as it can be Confused
Hope all are OK.
made DBS can take a while, hang in there.

kineticmagnetic · 23/11/2016 09:45

Thank you faire-just done shop online-much easier to not buy alcohol!

Diel · 23/11/2016 16:14

Does anyone else find wednesday a harder day than other to be af? Not bothered yet but soon as 7pm rolls on it seems like such a lovely and inoffensive idea to have a few drinks. f course, a few ends up lots and there goes having a guilt free or remotely productive Thursday!

Good job ob the online shopping Kinetic :)

Got my guard up!!

kineticmagnetic · 23/11/2016 19:09

Failed, because shopping can't be delivered until tomorrow I had to get something for tonight and got a bottle of wine. It's only day 2 and I've caved already.

dementedma · 23/11/2016 20:30

One glass tonight. One glass in 3 days is good.

madein1995 · 23/11/2016 22:42

magnetic have you drank the wine, is there a way you could throw the remainder of the wine away? On the bright side you bought one bottle not more, so that is a sign of improving Smile I think it’s natural to stumble a bit at first – the really important thing is to please try not to beat yourself up and to get straight back on it. I found that as soon as I started consciously not drinking, drinking was automatically more in my thoughts iykwim, and that in itself made things harder.

demented well done on keeping to the one Grin

theanswer well done for getting back on it!

Great day here today Smile my DBS came back and have posted it today so all good. On top of that, a bit of a boring day at work but tried my best to be cheery and chatty and nice to customers, which must have been good because a customer mentioned to my manager how nice and helpful and chatty I was and was lovely feedback [grins] I wasn’t doing anything special, just being myself and chatty (was actually a little bit fed up at this point) so I must be doing something right. My parents came in and bumped into manager who mam knows from when I was in school (on the school run). Told them I was ‘her girl’ Grin and had excellent feedback, and was doing well (head got even bigger). Parents then saw me with customers – surprised how professional and able I was, how chatty I was and how fast I scanned products (head now of gigantic proportions). So all in all a good day Smile

kineticmagnetic · 24/11/2016 07:09

I managed to just have half the bottle, back to day 1 today.

Diel · 24/11/2016 09:00

That's good going kinetic. Maybe try and think of today as another day af rather than day one? It's all a journey and you're well on your way.

theansweris42 · 24/11/2016 09:41

made that's so nice to read and good for you. You have been working hard. Will you keep a few hours at Tesco when you start new job?
diel I like that idea of another AF day rather then putting ourselves back to square 1.
morning to all Brew

madein1995 · 24/11/2016 18:42

diel I totally agree, doing day 1 over again I found disheartening, just focusing on 1 day AF rather than focusing on numbers might be a really good idea Smile

theanswer thank you, and I’m not sure really. I’d like to but childrens home job is on a rota basis and I’m not sure how flexible Tesco could be. If they’re able to be flexible and offer different days depending on my other job rota, I would be happy to do both but not sure if they will be willing to do that. They may be happy to do it up until Christmas though, as I suspect they want all the staff they can get for the busy time.

I’ve had a good day today. Last session of specific programme at refuge, so a bit emotional but will hopefully see them again in a different programme. Me and a service user had a bit of a cwtch and emotional goodbye – they are going into detox soon and I hope to God they are able to do it, and I really hope I see them in the new year. Will have to see how it pans out but I want it so much for them. Had positive feedback from service users – saying I am bubbly and mature so all good Smile

Have to be up at 3.30am for work (black Friday, groans but thinks of the money) as working 5am – 3pm but know an hour and half of that will be breaks so not too bad really. Have a chocolate muffin in fridge for morning, in attempt to motivate me. Am in Saturday evening, Sunday morning and Monday morning. Tuesday and Wednesday I have a course to attend on drug and alcohol addiction (connected to refuge). Thursday off, Friday refuge and Sat and Sun work. I wouldn’t mind working Wednesday evening (course finishes at 4.30) and Thursday but am not going to do too much, I’m shattered atm and think I need to look after myself – work to live, not live to work Grin

madein1995 · 24/11/2016 18:46

magnetic can't believe I forgot you, huge well done on stopping at half a bottle! See, you can do it Smile

dementedma · 24/11/2016 19:32

Went 10 minutes over parking time in a multi storey with one of those stupid machines which don't tell you how much to pay. Got a ticket to pay £60 in the post!!!!!
Fuck. That's the last thing I need. It wasn't an intentional effort not to pay.