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Original poster

So ashamed of myself

128 replies

Theblamegame · 19/09/2016 21:08

Name changed for this.

So I was dating a guy for around 6 months when we decided to call it a day. Nothing bad but we just didn't see it going anywhere.

We always had good chemistry and sex. So even though we broke it off we slept together a few times since.

I've been feeling in the mood so made contact and we exchanged a few dirty messages and hinted at meeting up. So I sent him a couple of nude selfies (have done this lots before, I know no face etc) and a suggestive message. This was on Friday and he hasn't replied. I followed up with another message yesterday evening and still no response!

I am feeling so embarrassed and ashamed at myself as he must think I am crazy. I feel like I've thrown myself at him.

How do I stop these feelings? I am so low this evening and can't stop thinking about what he must think about me.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 21/09/2016 17:44

My 20yo daughter that I was spouting puritanical nonsense to advise her not to send naked pics to men who can't even be arsed to reply to a simple message

Firsttimer82 · 21/09/2016 17:47

NEXT!!!! Just keep moving forward man wise. Don't give it a second thought... Just let him get on with it. He probably has someone else and will call when they split. You can be the one doing the ignoring then! Who cares if this guy thinks yr easy?!? Its a numbers game. You sound quite savvy about the rules of sending pics. Lots of people do it so don't worry about that. Good on you for having the confidence!!!

WannaBe · 21/09/2016 17:49

Ah yes, of course you can be reassured that the pictures won't go anywhere. Of course... Hmm.

Incidentally, imagine a thread on here from a woman saying "just recently started seeing a bloke, really lovely guy, thought all going really well until at the weekend a text popped up on his phone and couldn't help seeing it - it was a naked picture of some girl." What do people think the responses would be?

adora1 · 21/09/2016 18:02

I'm all for showing off a lovely body, and it sounds like the OP has a damn good one, that's not the issue here, it's about safety, he's already proved himself to be untrustworthy so he's already proved my point.

Send pics to a man you love and trust 100% of course, not to a man that was not really a LTR and can't even be arsed to reply, making the OP feel shit about herself....yeah, carry on doing that OP, it clearly makes you feel great..........

Sunshineonacloudyday · 21/09/2016 18:09

I know how you feel does he live close by to you.

Original poster
Theblamegame · 21/09/2016 20:41

adora That may be the case but I sent them about 5 minutes after he messaged me saying he wanted to hook up this week... Maybe the girl might be more concerned about that?

I am starting to put this in perspective now and feeling much better. I really did not expect the naked pictures thing to become a debate at all, I am surprised that it is such a contentious issue.

I'm not sure he has proved himself to be untrustworthy either... presumably he's just decided to move on which I don't think is the same thing...

OP posts:
Sunshineonacloudyday · 21/09/2016 21:04

You have only been with him for 6 months so you don't know him as well as you think. Its taken me years to get to now my partner and understand his little ways. You're embarrassed about him not replying to naked pictures of yourself. Don't take offence but could be you're ego is bruised by him not replying. You have posted that you have a nice body and he don't want it know more. Is that how you feel.

Sunshineonacloudyday · 21/09/2016 21:07

His mates could have seen the pictures he might be texting you're picture around for all you know. That might be why he can't talk to you.

adora1 · 22/09/2016 13:11

Contentious issue OP, naked pics, really?

Have you not heard the list of stories of women who have had their pictures used in degrading ways, passed around etc....I admire your confidence in a man you don't really know and who has ignored you, I guess my advice is not helpful to you then but I hope it is to others who may be stopped from being imo foolish.

ladyjadie · 25/09/2016 13:06

Did he get back to you op?

Original poster
theblamegame · 25/09/2016 18:55

I decided to not waste any more time on it and blocked his number; it is iMessage so even if I unblock I will never know if he replied or not. Strangely, this has made me feel much better!

OP posts:
confusionoftheillusion · 26/09/2016 21:05

Well done OP Smile

arsenaltilidie · 26/09/2016 21:35

There is nothing wrong with sending nude photos to someone you are having sex with provided you hide your face or anything identifying.

If you were FWB maybe the relationship has ran it'd course.

It was fun whilst it lasted and now it's time to move on. At some point one of you would have to do the ignoring.

HerFaceIsaMapOfTheWorld · 27/09/2016 19:01

I also think he has someone else on the scene.
What a jerk though sounds like you are better of without!

fluffyblue · 27/09/2016 19:18

Anyfucker is so out of touch with modern dating and relationships it's laughable

fluffyblue · 27/09/2016 19:20

Just my own blunt, no nonsense and unwelcome opinion Smile

TheVirginQueen · 27/09/2016 19:40

Id never expose myself by doing it. Ive been dating the last year. Had a few fledgeling relationships. I have felt like we were going to be a thing - but even in that optimism, i would never do it.
i think the op should forget it. But learn from it and dont do it again!!
Dont expose yourself (literally or figuratively)

TheVirginQueen · 27/09/2016 19:41

My point is that just because AF not dating doesnt mran she is hopelessly out of touch. I have lived and learn3d a lot from OLD

PurpleTango · 28/09/2016 20:26

"Fluffy, my mum would never come on to a forum and belittle someone way you just did. Your comment was horrible and you are the one who should be ashamed.

My mum taught me kindness and compassion not to sneer at people. She also taught me to stand up to bullies.

Hope you feel good about yourself"

Give me one good reason why its a great idea for someone to send pics of their intimate parts of their body to someone they have known for 6 months and obviously have no interest in continuing that "friendship" . Do you think I should encourage my teen daughters to do the same?? Or maybe I should tell my sons to respect a woman who sends him pics of her genetalia?

I just asked my 21 year old what he would think about a woman sending him graphic pics of herself. His response was " Girls seem to think I will love them for it. I get sent these kind of pics all the time. I always think if she sends me porno pics of herself, how many of my friends has she sent them too? I don't have any respect for a girl who sends "dirty pics" of herself. All they say to me is they are up for a shag and then expect to be dumped. The girl I would stick with is the girl who makes me feel privileged enough to see her naked without feeling the need to make everyone else see her naked too".

That's my boy! :D

pregnantat50 · 28/09/2016 21:02

maybe he has lost his phone

Cathaka15 · 28/09/2016 21:19

It really shouldn't matter what he thinks anymore. It's over and done with. He hasn't responded then who cares. More important things in life then what an ex thinks of you. You really haven't done anything wrong anyway. Have a girls night out and forget about it.

FrancesNiadova · 28/09/2016 21:23

I think that it's all AF' s fault! Wink

PurpleTango · 28/09/2016 21:24

Oh here's the response from my 24 year old ds (who is in a long term relationship) when asked the same question...."No chance! Any woman who sends me a pic of her nether regions (That was the polite version ;)) I tell them where to go. There is no way I would go where everyone else has already been. I don't do desperate and anyone who sends out whattsapp pics of their nether regions (again the polite version! ;) ) has to be desperate. If I ever saw a pic of my girlfriends nether region (again the more polite version) anywhere on the internet I would tell her where to go. There is being young, free and single and there is being a common slut who thinks everyone has a right to her body. . I wouldn't entertain having a relationship with a woman who thinks its normal to send pics of their nether regions (Polite version again - you got it ;) over the internet. Nothing is private on the internet. I have shared pics that women have sent me, with my friends - and my friends have shared pics of women who have sent them pics, with all our mates." Anyone who sends a graphic pic of themselves over the internet gets exactly what they have asked for. Respect is earned and I will only ever respect a woman who shows respect for herself"

Vvlgari · 28/09/2016 21:29

Not that I'd send naked photos, but I'm not sure I'd ever want to meet purpleturtle's son either because he sounds like a massive wanker with a terrible attitude towards women.

AnyFucker · 28/09/2016 21:31

Fluffy...quite the cool girl goady little fucker aren't you ?

Well done.

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