NoCapes thread 2 - No cape necessary

[NoCapes]

Can't believe we've filled up a whole thread
But I'm still not ready to be without you all yet ...

I was on your last thread but have only just found this one. You've been remarkable and so very strong. But what worries me is you said up thread that you've left him for quite long periods of time before and caved in - and obviously ended back at square one. This has got to be the time that you don't cave in.

I really hope you are going on the spa day without him. If he is involved please turn it down. This isn't him being nice. It's another little trick to pull you in. If he didn't still think he had hope, he'd never have given it to you. It's just another ploy. Nothing he does is out of the goodness of his heart. Everything is designed to make you weaken. Go and enjoy it without him but see it for what it is, don't let it tug at your heartstrings.

Ooh God, absolutely NOT with him.

If he's given it to you to go by yourself, then great. Go along, enjoy yourself, but remind yourself that one good deed does not make up for a decade of wrongs. It's rare that people are completely rotten through and through, these men are capable of doing a good thing, but that doesn't mean he's changed, or would keep it up. But at the same time, it doesn't have to have a malicious or manipulative meaning behind it. It might do, but it also might not.

If he's offered it to you, with the intent to go with you, then he's clearly attempting to act like a couple with the hopes it will lead to something more. I would be very wary of ulterior motives, and whilst it is obviously your decision whether to go or not, I would probably decline in your shoes. If you do go with him, it may not be as enjoyable as you'll be on your guard. If you do relax you run the risk of letting your guard down too much and doing something you regret in a moment of vulnerability.

Whatever happens and whatever you choose, I hope you have a good birthday and make the choices best for you

Oh noooooo not with him!
He's having the kids during the day (his mates birthday celebrations are at the night) so I'm taking MamaCapes 👍🏻

Perfect!

He's having the DC out of your house ?

Evening lovelies.
Make the most of the spa day! This might be the best thing he's ever done for you apart from your babies!
'Mine' jumped out of his text to me too. He's not getting it is he?

enjoy the day he prob had to change it he wouldnt get a refund just remember dont let him hold it over you

Hope you and mama capes have a lovely day on Saturday. Just remember putting his hand in his pocket to buy you a day out doesn't make up for a near decade of shit he's put you through.

Enjoy today Capey!

Hope you're having a good day at the spa don't forget to come back and tell us all about it so we can be supremely jealous

Hope you enjoyed your day

How was your spa capes? Hope it was lush- you deserve a bit of a treat.

Capes has gone quiet, another relapse?

No relapse! (love that you're calling it a relapse haha)
I've had house disaster after house disaster, had a leak from the bathroom coming through the kitchen ceiling and the light, which then tripped all the electrics so had no water or electricity ... Then the part of the ceiling it had leaked through fell down 😩😩😩
So I've just been dealing with all the shit, I'm still here though

...oh and the spa day isn't until this Saturday you lemons!

Bloody hell, never rains but it pours eh?!
Well hopefully you'll be able to chill at your spa day THIS WEEKEND!

whoops!

that all does not sound fun at all Capes is it all sorted now? sorry you've had such a rough time... good thing you're getting a spa day sounds like you need it 😂

Not what you need really any of that? Spa will be just the ticket then

oh no! what a mess hope its sorted soon

lol at us being lemons

I'm mainly a lurker, and well-wisher on your thread, so I hope you don't mind me making a comment, now.

An expensive gift like a spa day is not something you give to your ex, and I would be worried that you were sending out the wrong message to him by accepting.

Also, I think you need to be careful that you don't feel beholden to him by accepting.

I know the money is spent, but that's his problem, not yours.

Do tread with care over this.

Just a quick thought: Could someone purchase the spa package from you and you use the money for repairs?

Are you liable for repairs or is your insurer? You'll really need a spa day come Saturday after the week you've had. Lol at lemons now I fancy a G&T.

Another delurk. Also to sound warning note. I'd make very sure he watches kids away from house that day. You don't want to come home to a romantic meal/plan to do something with kids etc (unlikely but he's persuaded you before). Plus him giving you something specific to do is controlling in itself, and a way of keeping tabs on you too. If he gave you a voucher and then left you to use or not with him not knowing anything about your plans that might be different.

I don't mean watches the kids as that is not what he is doing. He is having his time with them. Another reason to be cautious, you don't want him thinking he is doing you a favour there either.