NoCapes thread 2 - No cape necessary

[NoCapes]

Can't believe we've filled up a whole thread
But I'm still not ready to be without you all yet ...

Sending good vibes and happy hangover

Ah there you are. Sometimes a good drink is what's needed, I don't car what anyone says.
Glad you are ok

No hangover here, I wasn't drunk drunk just a bit ... Merry still took care of the kids after and got up this morning so was fine

But yes I do feel happier today after getting out

Good my wee granny would have said "a change is as good as a rest".

what happened with ex if im not being too pushy

Oh yes I forgot!
Nothing happened exactly, he just pissed me off

He was meant to pick the kids up at 10, he said he was going to hang around for a bit as had nowhere to take them and it's getting cold, I wasn't really bothered about this bit, but he came a bit early and basically sat on his arse until I said that I had nothing in for lunch and was going out so he had to leave, he left at 12ish
Between 9:30 & 12 I must've heard his voice around 5 times - just how can you be in a room with 3 children for that long and not speak!?! That's what I was so pissed off about - if I only saw my children for a matter of hours a week I'd be like a fucking CBeebies presenter, and he barely spoke to them?!?
Just what is the point!?!

so he just came and sat around your house for like 3 hours???

this is exactly why i don't let XP in this time around... they just take the piss! Fucking ridiculous

But I'm glad you had a good time out despite his antics

Yep pretty much sky then took them to his Grandads for the afternoon where his aunties and cousins will have looked after them - but at least they're enthusiastic and play and do crafts and stuff with them

He really is fucking useless

I purposely came home late from the pub in protest

you rock Capes

at least you know the kids are getting well looked after. I feel the same when XP takes DD to his aunts, I'm like "well at least someone there knows what they're doing!"

Capes don't let him do that again...as quote/unquote as you rightly said before "this isn't fucking Starbucks"......

He is purposely pushing your boundaries, he is trying to get cosy, he is trying to worm himself back in. You said he only spoke to his children five times in three hours.......that should speak volumes to you!

As I said before, it will be best that handover are either done in a public place or done via a third party.

"Hangovers"

pisstaking fucker

next time say organise something or somewhere or u cant come in-it gets too personal otherwise and u dont want that anymore

nice one about the pub tho!

Capes bravo for getting so far. I just want to say:

You have to make the kids available but at no point to you ever have to make YOURSELF available.

PLEASE sort out 3rd party handovers. Seeing my ex at my home used to stress me the fuck out for years. In fact until my kids cut contact with him, so 6 fucking years. Despite actually working in the same building as him. Home is different.

Good luck.

I know him being here isn't good but he honestly has nowhere else to take them, obviously he could do big days out but every single week is a bit much (for them and him) he is looking for somewhere to live and saving up so I see him being here a little bit as temporary - maybe I need to reiterate that to him apparently
When he's here I'm not involved though, they're generally in the living room & playroom (they're connected) and I potter and clean and iron and do all my jobs in the rest of the house - I don't do any parenting and if the kids ask me for anything I direct them right back to him

PS - today is 4 weeks since the day I kicked him out
4 weeks!! I can't believe it's been that long...yet at the same time it feels like forever ago
I would never ever have got this far without all of you my little Capettes - I owe you all so so much, I appreciate every one of you more than you will ever know

Congrats on the milestone Capes! That's nearly a whole month!

And well done on staying firm with the kids when he's there. That's at least part of the battle! I remember when XP would come over I would still be doing most of the childcare, he'd just come in, play with her for a bit, maybe tidy up of he stayed till after her bedtime, and then piss off again! I don't know how I could have been so blind back then tbh...

But yes, I definitely think you should point out that your home isn't a café he can just stroll in and out of. It doesn't have to be big days out all the time, he can take them to the park or to soft play or something like that. Fingers crossed he finds a place soon so that he runs out of excuses although I'm sure he'll be very creative in coming up with new ones

Well done though Capes you're doing fab

Capettes, I like it!! What a milestone Capes you've come so bloody far! I hope you're proud of yourself, you should be!!

congrats on 4 weeks amazing how far youve come-does fel like ages you first posted

i think hes taking advantage thugh of not having anywhere to take them and just assumes he can come in-make it clear its only till he moves

shall we make capette badges ;)

Has it only been 4 weeks. You've come a long way.

Yay, go Capes!
I'm not sure about letting him have the kids in your home but just make sure you don't engage with him.

Is there a library he could take them to? More fun for them if he's not going to speak to them

Well done Capes.

It's shocking that he's not even making any attempt to 'fight' what's happening.

There is no redeeming factors at all!

Onwards!

Happy 1 month anniversary of being freeeeee!
I'm not sure him having them at the house is a great idea either. Unless it's very temporary and you go out and leave him to it for the most part.
If nothing else it will be confusing for the kiddo's of you are all hanging out together as if nothing has happened.great if you can do that amicably later, not so much now perhaps when it's all a bit fresh?

Still here rooting for you Capes. Happy Freedom Day !