Dry 15

[glad2016]

For all those sober, or would be sober, warriors. KOKO (keep on keeping on) lovely people :)

Hi all.
Feeling bit low this morning dp looked at me while was eating eggs and I burst into tears..think I'm sad because of all the crap that's happened between us through the drink. Why on earth have I let it get on the way..

Just done a depression and anxiety test. Iv scored high on both and says I need to see the doctor. Am I being stubborn by knowing what the problem is and trying to make myself happy and feel normal again by getting put on tabs and then depending on something else to try sort my head our?

to both choco and buddha

No harm in making an appointment to see your dr. It might help you to prevent self medicating. I sometimes wonder about depression and I'm sure I have anxiety problems. Would you mind linking the test if you get a second?
I'd personally be wary about tabs etc. I still have a fondness for codeine which I'm trying to kick. I'm using them in the day sometimes when I'm stressed or anxious and I know I shouldn't. I've been honest at AA about this. I just know if the gp prescribed some nice pills for me id get too fond of them too .

Yeah il attempt to it.

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/mood-self-assessment.aspx

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/mood-self-assessment.aspx

Thank you

I'm guna do some research into herbal tabs maybe for the time being. The children are really irritating me,I feel awful for saying that but I know it's coz my moods low. Got so much goin on giving up drink, relationship getting bk on track, then his family issues ect ect..
Dp gone off to work for few hours and hopefully go out later with the dc. Fresh air news to clear head.

choc my kids are annoying the crap out of me today. Don't know why but they just seem so LOUD. Hope fresh air helps you feel better.

Family lunch out today. I had elderflowr which I enjoyed. Before giving up I would have a large glass of wine, drain it quickly then have another, then possibly a liqueur type pudding shot, then feel rubbish the rest of the day. Nice to walk around tge shops after lunch feeling normal. (I didnt buy anything nice, just presents for the endless parties DCs are going to, but it was fun). Nap time now

Evening all.

Hope things get better choc and gotta.

I spent most of today asleep. Just feeling a little sub-par. DH was putting things together for a new business venture. DS watched tv most of the day. Hope tomorrow will be better. :)

KOKO.

slim, Sub-par is exactly how I feel today. sorry youre feeling the same. On paper it looked like a lovely day: swimming with DD, lunch out, but of shopping, OH cooked dinner... I just feel a bit 'meh'. Pissing it down all day which doesn't help. Ah well, tomorrow's another (sober) day.

I'm so glad it's night time! Although next door are partying music is so loud!😤
iv left dp downstairs just need to reflect on my own.
It's been a crappy week keep beating myself up about the booze, while I was shopping noticed what was my fav wine was on offer, dp even pointed it out. I just replied noo we don't drink now! Was weird but a positive situation my lb was there who I told the other night no more beer in house. Gotta set a good example.

Hope everyones getting through there evening ok and thank god for mn ors I would probably go crazy coz it's like a little release coming on here!
Thanks to you all. X

Is there something in the air? I had a major major fight with DH over, of all things, the correct dosage of medicine for our sick dog. I stormed out after being yelled at, then snuck back in to remove passports of me and DS. Now I am at a friend's house (she is away and I am feeding her cat).

I am so tired.

Oh slim :(

Morning. Thanks glad. I came back home about an hour ago and things calm again. But DH flies off the handle so easily right now over really trivial things. I know he is stressed right now but even so.

My face is puffy and I have a day of babysitting a friend's 6 year old while she does stocktake at work.

Hope everyone else is fine.

slim you've had a really tough evening. I hope your day of babysitting is a distraction today but that you also get some time to yourself.
Full nights sleep last night!

Morning all - nearly caved in last night - so boring not drinking. Had to dig deep and think about what today would look like had a given in - with hangover, starting Day 1 again etc. The mornings are good I feel great but wine o'clock is hell.
Also I have only lost 1lb - all that sugar I have given up in 11 days and I have lost 1 sodding lb.
Here's to sunny sober Sunday.

slim sorry to hear you are having a rough time keep posting as I'm sure it helps here - well it does me :)

x

Slim

Tapas it's early days so advice is usually to focus on your sobriety above everything else....including weight loss. (I could do with losing a few pounds, 86 days and I have lost very few lbs but my skin is way better, tummy flatter)

As for boring - well DH and I went out and were sitting with our AF drinks last night. 5 women at the next table were celebrating someone's birthday, shouting, trooping in and out to smoke/go to the ladies and not really listening or actually engaging with each other. It was pretty boring to listen to TBH.

KOKO you're doing great

hi everyone, think i tempted fate the other day saying I'm usually fine short term after a bad binge. Thought about having a drink so much yesterday. We had a nice day planned then DH had to work. I went to the shop and the drink was just right there by the checkouts trying to lure me in. I then sat at home playing the tape forward. I have absolutely no doubt that I would have got drunk (hiding bottles etc), I would have had a massive hangover today which I would drink through and who knows when it would end. Part of me thought I deserved a final blow out before my meeting later. Or really the fact I was seriously thinking about drinking again so soon confirms I am getting worse and going dry is the right choice.
Anyway, I didn't drink, dinner was nice if flat because DH was tired and I was grumpy. I was so preoccupied with what everyone else was drinking. We both got a good sleep and were able to visit the local flower market bright and early.

Sorry, I always intend a quick post but end up rambling.

Pimpernella, I fantasise about walking out of my job sometimes. I don't know what else I would do either though...DH and I have talked about trying to see if I can cut my hours down which may help.

to everyone having a tough time

Thanks everyone for support. Things much better today but the baby sitting was quite a strain. The little girl seems to push all of Ds's buttons, (and vice versa) and I have had to employ 'military mummy' mode and send people in different directions for timeout.

DH much better today. Although at a certain point after a major screaming match between the small people charges he went and got a quiet brandy.

DH and I - we are friendly today but circling each other a bit. I really do not deal with conflict well. I tend to be a bit catastrophic in my thinking (hence the collection of passports). My upbringing was with a very unstable and volatile DM (she started taking heavy duty meds when I was in my 20s, which helped) and I revert back to scared little girl wanting to run away when there is angst.

Now ironing in front of Real Housewives, which is a good thing. :)

Thanks lizzy good advice - I will concentrate on not drinking for now.
Feeling a lot better today usually Sunday afternoon is a good time for me to open the wine - not today though.
Hope everyone is ok x

Hi everyone,

tapas and newleaf keep going even if it's an hour at a time.

slim sorry to hear you have had an upsetting time, good luck with the ironing!

I did my long running races this weekend. Lots of runners heading straight to the pub afterwards but I'm at the point where I don't even consider it now and don't feel like I'm missing out. I'm at home with a cuppa, feet up and ice on my ankle!

Dh has drunk a lot this week- for no particular reason and this morning he got quite upset and said he wished he could stop like me, so he is taking it one day at a time too.

FFS. Last weekend I had a cold. Today I've come down with another one! Still dry though. I'm in bed with hot drink, book and purring cat. Everyone is leaving me alone so I'm happy. Just need space at the moment.
Feeling like a fraud. I dropped DD at a party today and lots of the mums were chatting about nights out etc. Found myself joking along about drinking, but thinking 'this isn't me anymore, i don't drink.' same thing happened at school gates this week joking about teachers in the pub... i laughed along feeling weird. Haven't told any friends I have stopped as I can cope with the idea of dry socialising. Anyhoo. Little stream of consciousness there.