Dry 15

[glad2016]

For all those sober, or would be sober, warriors. KOKO (keep on keeping on) lovely people :)

Newleaf is cutting hours something you could do easily? I can't. I really think I might quit but career wise it would be a really bad idea. I' ve done 50 hours this week. I work part time but have do much to do in my own time. I really don't feel I can cope with the stress any more. I've been so grumpy with everyone this weekend - have had to keep apologising. I don't drink any more, I'm thinner but life is still fairly rubbish. Maybe I would give up my job too and it would still be rubbish. Perhaps it's me...

One white. ..how are things? Have been thinking of you all weekend.

Just found out that ex dp slept with someone last night (he told me). Nice to know that 9 years warrants a mere 2 weeks for him to get over.

I was at church with the kids at the time. Great eh?

Still not going to drink, but am feeling stupid and humiliated.

At least its work tomorrow! I'm much better during the week...

finnish so sorry to hear that. Things must be very raw for you at the moment. Your feelings are understandable - what a horrible situation.

pimpernella what do you do? My first thought was, teaching by any chance? If so I can relate. Grumpy here too.

Oh no Finnish! Hang in there. We are all here to try to help you feel strong.
Gotta - there must be other professions who do silly hours too? I really might do it this time. ( I always say this)

Thanks guys. It took 3 get over heartbreak sleep hypnosis tracks last night to get to sleep, but I have woken up feeling happier and ready to put him in a pretty box and float him downstream! (metaphorically, obvs.)

Oh finnish

Sorry Pimpernella I wasn't saying other professions don't do silly hours, I had an inkling you may be in teaching but if not forgive me... would you consider a career change? Work stress is so hard. X

Oops Gotta...read that back and saw how it sounded! wasn't being arsey! You were correct!
No - was trying to wonder out loud who else is in the position teachers find themselves in in order to feel better about it!
Good for you Finnish. Hope you have a good day.

Hugs, finnish

I think it's a possibility Pimpernella but I've kind of mentioned the idea to my boss in the past and he didn't seem particularly thrilled with the idea...I guess if I spoke to him properly it could well be an option. 50 hours is a lot if you work part time!! I don't even work that full time....my problem is that I qualified into an area I don't really like though it is kind of related to what I would ideally want to do but when I have applied for jobs in that area before I've not got anywhere. And now feels like a bad time to move as I'm hoping to need maternity pay - I think the crux of it is plan was to be on maternity leave by now. I hope that once I've got out of this binge cycle I'll start to feel better.
Would it be possible to move to a different job within your field? sometimes a change of scenery can do the world of good. Or give yourself a deadline and say if things haven't improved by then you'll leave and in meantime look into a change of career.

Gotta I can identify with that. Just before my last binge a friend posted a meme on Facebook re there always being one person who never wants to leave the party tagging a few of us and I laughed along...nearly all of my friendships involve wine when we meet up. I have done sober socialising though and it's been fine.

Finnish, sounds like he was trying to get a reaction out of you and he didn't so good for you.

Tattoo hope you're doing OK.

My meeting yesterday was really good, had no idea what to expect and was a bit overwhelming but I identified so much with what people were saying.

Sorry just realised how blasé that sounded re socialising sober....I've done a fair few evenings out sober but thinking about it properly sometimes were harder than others, completely depends on the circumstances and I always had an excuse, dry Jan/I've been drinking a lot recently so having a break/good old antibiotics. Making it a permanent thing is going to be harder.

Hi all.

Sorry to hear of the work stresses people are facing.

Finnish I agree it sounds like he was trying to get a reaction from you. I am sorry.

Sorry just realised how blasé that sounded re socialising sober....I've done a fair few evenings out sober but thinking about it properly sometimes were harder than others, completely depends on the circumstances and I always had an excuse, dry Jan/I've been drinking a lot recently so having a break/good old antibiotics. Making it a permanent thing is going to be harder.

No worries pimpernel I've been in a similar position re: long hours. Now I have a different role and it's much better but I do remember the stress.
Got myself some sober treats today: nice new top and jeans. Now fitting a smaller size yay!
newleaf glad I'm not the only one rethinking role of alcohol in friendships etc... I have 2 nights out planned soon, planning soft drinks hoping no-one notices too much as I still want to be invited to things. Yes the payment thing is a different thing to talk about so I'm not going there yet.

finnish

I'm still here thanks newleaf. I ending up drinking on Friday (and crying down the phone to ex ffs) so I wasn't going to post until I had a proper week under my belt as I feel like a total failure.

I am going to go off for a few days though. Really not in a good place atm to the point I found myself thinking last night there's no point in me being here anymore, it's a long time since I've had those sort of thoughts. I feel like a shit mum on top of everything as all the joy appears to have sucked out of me and I'm constantly snappy. It's funny, I don't feel particularly sad just numb. I don't think any social media is helping so I'm going to turn off the tablets and phone for a few days, see if I can regroup myself and clear a bit of headspace as I need to pull myself out of his. No offence to anyone, just how I'm feeling. Catch you all at the weekend again, hopefully by that stage I'll have a on my face again and still sober. Have a peaceful week everyone

Thanks guys

I'm working as hard as I can on being OK. I know I'll me fine in the end - I just need to work out how to get from here to fine!

I'm not sure about the reaction - but if he was, he didn't get one (I waited till after the phone call to cry...)

Is all OK ONE?

Did you get promoted Gottam (Note to self - must not make comments about SMT leaving hours before the rest of us)

I find, in my admittedly limited experience, social occasions are fine when the company is good and the chat interesting. I have a nice time and even seem to pick up the giggly, giddy feeling. If the company is dull, I end up looking round at other drinkers and feel that I too would be having a good time if only I was drinking and then feel really sorry that it is all over for me.

Tattoo, Finnish and One

for everyone going through tough times. Take special care of yourselves, and a little time out if you can. I'm Watching the Paralympics, really inspiring to see these athletes compete at that level despite their disabilities. Makes me feel proud for them all... and rather lazy myself, sitting here snacking. Feeling positive though, just keeping on.

Up with poorly DD but she seems to be settling now.
Something weird happened last night. I poured a glass of schloer into a wine glass for treat drink at bedtime. Then I was scared to drink it! Had to reassure myself it was alcohol free! Bizarre but perhaps a good sign.
pimpernell I'm not management, can't bear the thought of paperwork or managing adults. The classroom side is what I actually like! Interesting thoughts re: socialising, thanks.

I'm struggling to sleep, I went to bed feeling so ready to sleep but couldn't as soon as I closed my eyes my mind starts wondering. I lay there for hours hoping to nod off but nothing! My mind runs off with itself wondering then worrying! What's this all about.

Morning everyone, wow, this thread is moving fast!

An early morning for us too. I've been in the playground for 30mins!
Sorry not to name check but hope everyone's doing ok today.
finnish that sounds awful, hope you're ok.

Thinking of tattoos and onewhite

Tattoo, just take care of yourself. Would be good to see you back as and when you feel up to it.

Finnish xxxx and very un-MN hugs

Morning all Day 13 for me. Love, love the mornings feel so good and keep having to remind myself that this is how I should be feeling. Feeling happier in myself and know I am a nicer mum. Not sure about partner as DH said last night that I have been a real grump lately and he is very supportive of my AF decision so not trying to get me to drink. Will have to work on that one:)

Have 2 nights out this weekend and will drive.

Happy Tuesday everyone xx

I love the clear headed mornings too. It's the best bit!