Dry 15

[glad2016]

For all those sober, or would be sober, warriors. KOKO (keep on keeping on) lovely people :)

Thank you Buddha. I just want this horrible anxiety/guilt to pass. Called in sick the last two days and today i can barely function. Did 100 days sober earlier in the year and felt so good.

Hi newleaf is this the first day after your binge? I suffer horrendous anxiety the next day. Things that have helped in the past is heading out for a walk and grabbing a tin of coke on the way. The sugar seems to bring me round a bit. Then its either keep myself busy or distraction by reading silly threads on here. I can't do the traditional baths and ways to relax as it gives me time to think, bad when I'm anxious. It will pass and keep posting here if you need to

Thanks for the new thread, Glad. I am always inspired by the comments from everyone, we all have our reasons for being here, and nobody is judging. I'm not very articulate but do appreciate all the support here. Nearly 4 weeks done for me, yay. 2 years ago I struggled through "dry January" and think I only managed it because I got quite a lot of sponsorship for a charity and I really felt I had to see it through. Last year I managed until 3rd January then gave up...pathetic. But now, having read the Jason Vale book I think I have a different mindset. These last 4 weeks have not been easy, but no way as difficult as the "dry Januarys". In my mind I'm telling myself I can't moderate so won't bother drinking at all. Sleeping a lot better, not so grumpy and knackered. I even went for a run jog/walk/jog this morning. Not far and not fast, but I felt great afterwards...fresh air is fab. Good luck to all those of you with children not sleeping / going to bed. I can assure you they will one day....I can't get our teenagers out of bed !

It is tattoos, I am gulping down water and diet coke. Really can't face going out though, maybe a bit later. Thing is a little voice keeps saying just have a beer as it will make you feel better. I'm not going to listen to it though. I think cos I don't drink everyday I tell myself I don't have a problem but I must have had 15-30 units each day for 5 days! Also drank heavily last weekend. Just can't seem to stop once I've started. We are trying to conceive so you'd think that would be an incentive to stop but I struggle so much with the disappointment each month.

Hi everyone,

Trying to catch up. buddha from an outsider view your partner is very cruel and as toxic as alcohol. Look after yourself while you are off.

nobrain good luck, my dh is still drinking. I fact even more now I've stopped. I'm feeling stronger and ignore it now but it's not ideal.

tattoo don't kids break your heart. It's nice to hear your ds confided in you. Have you spoke. To his teacher? Hope the sleep settles- my ds was a nightmare with sleep you have my sympathy.

one you are so supportive but don't feel you have to spread yourself so thin, look after you first- if that means a day not answering phone/ being online. You deserve some peace too.

vxa, finish and everyone else hi xx

Sorry cross post newleaf distract your self one hour at a time. That beer won't help you'll just want more.

I like sober hour podcast and sober blogs when I'm struggling- helps me to not feel alone.

Thanks for the tips efc. You are right. I have some AF beer but that may be too triggery. Hate day 1. Have just spoken to a lovely guy at AA and will get a call from some one local to me a bit later. Don't know if it's for me but figure it's worth a try. Have a holiday and hen party coming up and the idea of not drinking is very hard to accept, one day at a time I guess. DH using the word 'alcoholic' felt like a wake up call.

Hello everyone, on phone so can't name check easily - sorry. Just wanted to say hi to everyone and especially all the recent and new people. Be kind to yourselves, take it one day, hour even minute at a time and know you can do this and we are all here to help each other. I came on here Feb 2015 after doing Dry Jan and despite a number of slips and trips on the way I am still here with 260 days sober today and a lot of big chunks of sobriety since I started. When I slipped I learned some lessons, came on here and got support and added something else to my sober toolkit and then got back on it.

Sometimes life is very hard but that's life! And it is so much better without alcohol. Even the shittiest stuff (and lord knows I have some shit in my life to deal with) is so much easier to deal with, sober. And the good stuff is SO MUCH better!
KOKO sober warriors :)

Welcome newleaf and nobrain. nobrain 3 weeks is fantastic. Keep going and posting. This board is wonderful.

newleaf I am glad you found your way here. Take it one hour or even minute at a time. It is great that you are reaching out for help. I referred myself to my local drugs and alcohol service. They were really great.

choco my DH stopped drinking with me although he did not have a drinking problem. It has been great for us as a couple. Good luck X

Sorry not to name check everyone. Hugs to those having a hard time

Hi to everyone on the new thread and thanks glad for doing the honours.

onewhitepillow as everyone has said, you are such a calming, gentle voice on here and have generously given your time and support to all of us time and time again . I've gathered from what you've said on here that you put a lot of pressure on yourself to be perfectly organised and together. I hope the yoga helps with that and I hope work gets a bit easier. I'm finding my days at work now sober are more pleasant and easier to deal with.

buddha I'm sorry to hear of your loss and appalled that your partner said that to you. Be kind to yourself and don't worry about name checking etc. Just keep posting.

tattoos I think your dd is about the same age as mine (almost 3) and has also always been a nightmare sleeper. We are having a nightmare with early mornings and the worst so far has been 4:45 . She only wants me when she wakes up and dp gets arsey about her noise so early morning arguments are setting the tone for the day . I'm investing in a gro clock have you tried it?

Welcome newleaf and hello to everyone I haven't mentioned
KOKO

Gahh! Drink craving alert. (It won't happen as there's nothing in the house thank goodness)

Dd came into the kitchen and pulled off the chopping board of freshly grated expensive (OK lidl) pamasan for her pasta onto the floor and I shouted 'get out'' at her. I'm not a shouter and felt awful. Pre sober I'd probably be at my drinking 'best' right now. Dancing round the kitchen listening to pop and onto my seconds glass and not getting bothered by things like this .

I've apologised profusely to her and said it was a silly mummy moment and she agreed calling me a silly, naughty mummy (from the mouths of babes huh!)

Oh for a chilled glass of oblivion right now.

Strongtea consider your hand held. I'm so there.

Would it help to think about the situations where drink might not make you the 'nice' parent......like all the times I've been crabby as hell in the mornings getting the DCs to school because I've been hungover. The number of times I've put them to bed half cut...and so on.

None of us can be the best parent....but we can be good enough. Does that help?

I am heading home late, DH is away with work until late Friday so I know I need to watch for all the triggers - H, L and T all apply.

Big waves to all

Hello to everyone, Day 7 for me - The cravings are sooooo strong today I thought it was supposed to get easier. Feel absolutely knackerd. Am sipping tonic with ice and lime - really good!
Would someone be kind enough to post a link to Headspace, I bought a meditation called Headspace but don't think it it the same one as mentioned on here - thank;)
Budda may I say from your posts you are sounding much stronger already, just with the way you are starting to support others on here. Just an observation but lovely to see.

Hope everyone else is ok. Glad I'm here......xx

still here, still sober. Still in a pissy mood, but it will pass and at least I'm not drunk.

A little wave and a shoutout to everyone today, with thanks for your kind words and just being here. x

Hi tapas your drink sounds gorgeous. Anything with lime in and I'm there! I also noticed buddha sounds stronger. Keep going.

Thanks for the empathy lizzytee and of course you're right. I've been a terrible mother in the morning. iPad and milk in bed till she's begging me to go to the park. I don't miss that at all. Good luck and strength for keeping temptation at bay.

onewhitepillow you are awesome. That is all.

thank you strong and right back at you. I think of you, and lots of others on this thread, very very often. You are all inspirations to me - all going through really hard things, and I marvel daily at how lucky I am compared to many - not just on this thread, but generally.

I am not sure what I am feeling tonight. Both of my siblings are going through very hard times in their relationships and financially. My parents are very working class - council house - good people but they have no spare cash. We're relatively well off, and help when we can, but there's an undercurrent of resentment there: people don't love handouts, don't love having to have them, and don't love the person who gives them to them. I've been lucky in my career and I've also lucked out in having a really patient and understanding husband. We're having a hard time right now, but he's a good, reliable, honest man and even though we're having a hard time, he's amazing around the house, supports me in my work, and is a brilliant and loving father. All these things I have. I have trouble feeling okay about it all and didn't have any right at all to be such a useless drunk for all that time, or want to go back and drink myself unconscious tonight.

I am trying to be mindful - to just accept that I am feeling guilty and tired and a bit lonely, and accept that I am thinking about drinking without letting myself do anything about it.

I suspect I am exhausted. I am going to do my yoga and my headspace and then crack on and get another couple of hours work done before bed.

Sorry for the moan and complain. I know it sounds like stealth bragging and I hate myself for it but I really really don't mean it that way. I guess I am just saying: I have no excuse at all, none whatsoever, to have this deep root of unhappiness, but now and again it bubbles up and tonight is one of those times.

Well done Tapas, day 7 is a great milestone.

Yummy drinks were a big help for me early on and especially on my sober holiday in July. It's the taste, the act of doing something nice for yourself and the realisation that it's those things that you really need.

Thanks Lizzy this thread is really helping so glad I'm posting. Anything with loads of ice seems to hit the spot although I'm on the tea now. Do have lots more energy to do things in the evening instead of being pissed in the chair. When drinking I also worry every morning when I go to work as not sure I'm within the limit.
If I see a police car my anxiety levels go through the roof - it is so nice not to have to worry about that at the mo. I see a police car now and think you can stop me I don't drink:)
onewhite

I am trying to be mindful - to just accept that I am feeling guilty and tired and a bit lonely, and accept that I am thinking about drinking without letting myself do anything about it.

I really get that and will use it as a bit of a mantra going forward - so thank you. Hope you are feeling ok

Have a good evening everyone x

i've just cried all night. struggling to comprehend exdp's behaviour. going to watch the paralympics opening ceremony. my dd will be asking where exp is. what do i tell her? she doted on him.

Had a rough afternoon dp family are being really shitty towards me txs about me to him also some actually to me. I reteliated only my way I know by being bit crap back. I was so frustrated; might just be because I know that drink is our problem and people can't accept that we are going to quit! Feel like I need a wine but no im not guna get some nice sugary sunny d! Give my dp a cuddle and try to forget what's goin on. It's all added pressure!

buddhasbelly enjoy the tv! Give your dc a cuddle too! X

Buddha sorry you are feeling so low.

Your dd will miss your ex P, we miss anything which has been part of our lives for a while but imagine as she gets older and meets someone like your ex, you would want so much more for her than that, she deserves better - and so do you!

You are setting her a great example of what is/is not acceptable in relationships, by not allowing toxic people into both your lives.

She has her mum, who obviously loves her, that's all she needs for now.

Enjoy the opening ceremony.x

Oooo new thread! I've been busy so haven't had chance to come on.

Sorry to hear a few of you are going through a bad time and glad to hear some of you are doing well too.

Day 9 drawing to a close for me, sat with a nice cuppa and feeling quite optimistic, I think it's helping that the kids are back at school and we've regained some form of routine. I'm also quite liking the darker evenings as I think I was starting to drink more when it was sunny as me and DH would have a couple in the garden after the kids were in bed.

No words of wisdom from me but wishing everyone well

Life after life has arrived! Off to bed with tea and choc to start reading.

onewhite I think I understand where you're coming from. You're not stealth bragging at all. We all have difficult times no matter how rosy things might look to outsiders. Drink dependency can happen to anyone and you are just as entitled to support as anyone else x