Op, op, I don't know where to start.
I have been in your situation and had a good friend that's been in your situation.
Her husband (she married the guy ffs) well boyfriend before, has cheated on her, abused her, smokes weed all the time, allows his mum to abuse her, take her money, she gives him money for his drugs, and the list goes on.
My friend had a miscarriage early on last year by this guy. Instead of taking the time to heal from the miscarriage, get rid of the guy, finish her degree ( as this was during our finals) build up her self confidence. You know what she did? 3 months later, she runs away from home, gets secretly married and gets pregnant again! They both now live with the husbands mother. Which is even worse! As the mum is very strict traditional Pakistani woman and she is very controlling. She wouldn't allow my friend to speak to her family, she treated my friend like a slave in the house. My friends family had to get through me to get to my friend, so I was sending messaging a back and forth. My friend didn't have the guts to stand up to the mother because she was in fear that the mother would get her son divorced from my friend, she was soooooo in love with him she was willing to put up with his crap.
Fast forward, friend is now 8 months pregnant, she is now on speaking terms to her family ( the mother in law allowed it) and apparently the husband and her are looking for houses together and my friends mum has said that the husband has changed (which I think is bullshit as my friend wouldn't tell her mum the truth). I don't know what's happening to that friend now as she has stopped contacting me, she doesn't pick up my calls and vice verse. It is sad, but I'm so glad to have my life back. Op it is soooooo draining to be there for someone, who refuses to listen and take their advice, every time we were in our lessons we would spent the entire day talking about her issues, I was supporting her with her school work, I was playing messenger with her family and her. I was hurt that she dropped me as a friend, probably due to her mother in laws request, but in all honestly if she came back to me and told me XYZ, I don't think I will be able to support her... I would advise her, but I will not go out of my way to help her like I did.
My friend didn't complete her finals and is retaking her exams next year, she is 23 and has been at University for 5 years, instead of 3, all because she has wasted her headspace on this guy.
Due to her situation, I finally broke up with DS dad, no way was I going give up on my life like she did... And yes she did give up!... Given up on the fact that she could get someone better... Given up on the fact that her life could be better than the shithole she's already in... Being stuck in a dead end relationship because she has a child with this man... Or been with him for so many years that she couldn't give up on that.
Op you are indeed giving up! Wake up! Is this the life you really want? Being stuck with a man who takes weed, who comes in and out of your house as he pleases, loosing all your friends and family... Is this boy child really worth it?
Learning from my friends experience, it's been now 6 months since I've broken up with DS dad. I have him an ultimatum, unless you provide for your child, unless you start treating me with respect, unless you start building a consistent relationship with our child. Then I MAY reconsider in getting back with you. You need to stay true to your beliefs and what you want in a man and stand by it!
TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE once and for all.