Would this statement irritate you too?

[Wheretheresteqthereshope]

"Men fancy 20-24 year olds"

This is what my new partner of mere months said to me. I'm 34, the same age as him.

Twat: Do you mean the difference between a momentary glance and a crush?

He made you feel like shit with his "truth" telling.

He is friends with predatory men and defends them.

You can do better than this.

H3 is a defective model.

Some men don't think being a man gives them a unique insight into reality.

They are the smart ones who are worth spending time with.

Why is it creepy or gross? 20-24 yr olds are adults too! When oh & I got together I was 21, he was 35, 7 years later, with two children, two dogs & a house, we are still very happy!

Men do tend to find younger women attractive, our 20s are when we are apparently at our peak for attractiveness & fertility, so it makes sense!
He didn't say anything offensive, just simply that it is normal for men to fancy women in their 20s

It doesn't sound all that sinister to me. On the face of what you've said, he first said it was a bit creepy - then quoted from a study he'd once read.
And then went on to say a 20-24 year old wouldn't suit him because there would be few common interests. Maybe he's just a 'fact' person. He quoted something he read in a newspaper and you took it personally.
He might be a very nice man who hasn't yet realised how sensitive you are. I don't personally think it's 'creepy' for 34 year old men to fancy women in their early 20s but maybe that's because I know several couples with significant age-gaps.

Well he's in good company with sexist twats like Frank Skinner who once said this in an interview:

"I said, "Most single women over 30 are as rough as old arseholes." I don't want to be one of those people who says it was taken out of context, but I said it in a joking way. It came from somebody saying to me in an interview, "Why are you going out with a 22-year-old woman?", which I was at the time, and I said: "If you look at women in their 30s, most of the good ones are taken." Having made that serious point, I had to end on a gag. It seems to have become my "rivers of blood" speech. But I still maintain that if you want to go out with someone over 30 you'll find that most of the good ones are gone. Do you not think so?"

Men don't fancy really youngvwomen because of their supposed peak fertility.

The seek them ou5 because they are easier to manipulate.

This is a cultural, not a natural, phenomenon.

We are so used to men exoloiting and using women that we buy the idea that it is somehow "natural" for men to seek to exploit youth and inexperience, but not for women.

Even tbough the peak fertility argument is equally true.

what he said really wasn't comparable to the "rough as old arseholes" comment was it

It was.

He pretty much said

"Young women are more attractive to all men. But I'm not shallow, so I will accept your physical shortcoming of being ancient."

Hold out for the man who thinks you are amazing. Not this guy.

Truth-telling speakers for men are ALL twats. Without exception.

If you've ever had experience of OLD, I would probably agree with that statement tbh. The majority of men on there, young and old, want women under 30. They're just deluded idiots who look in the mirror and clearly see some handsome super stud staring back at them. The reality is that most women 20-24 wouldn't look twice at someone over 30 (unless of course some women would be attracted by someone with pots of money regardless of age).

there are loads of people on this thread being truth tellers for all, by saying it's 'creepy' for men of his age to like younger women. plenty of 20 year old female adults could buy and sell plenty of 35 year old men.

There are an awful lot of shit men in the world, it's true.

But the OP deserves a nice man.

Which is why she shouldn't settle for someone who thinks repeating sexist prejudice is speaking The Truth.

doinitfine

He really didn't say that at all. I think you are reading far too much into this.
He said men are attracted to 20-25 year olds in a relavant discussion . He didn't add "any woman over 30 is hideous"

The reality is that most women 20-24 wouldn't look twice at someone over 30 (unless of course some women would be attracted by someone with pots of money regardless of age)

again, not true and nor should it be. your reality is not universal.

He proclaims to be 'honest' and that at least he dare say it. Many, many men think it apparently. I'm not a man, I don't know.

How can anyone read that and not immediately call TWAT?

Seriously.

He's stupid.

The OP is not stupid.

Dump!

Doinit - agree with all you have said!

This -

Your boyfriend doesn't have any superior access to the truth.

Despite his reality penis.

Made me snort!

Jesus Christ. Seriously some of the comments on here.

So you lot have never honestly looked at a film promo of Zac Efron or some other 'young stud' and thought "Ooo, he's hot".

We are programmed to find other people attractive. A man's basic biological animal instinct is to find 'young women in their biological prime' attractive to maximise the chance of successful, healthy offspring.

He's not off chasing them, he's committed to you, which obviously means he's attracted to you! It was a throwaway comment that you've made into a mountain.

And at 25, I dated a 46 year old. He wasn't rich, he was a decent bloke who made me laugh til I cried, and we had a genuinely fun time. I had as little interest in it getting serious as he did. Does that mean that I'm a "twat" like the OP's OH and friend?

He was trying to justify how I though it was 'creepy' (I think it is)

I think he was right to defend the fact you think it's creepy.

Personally I'd dump you for being so shallow.

People are not "programmed" do do anything.

Whenever someone tries to use that argument to justify sexism as being inevitable and natural, just put them in the dim column.

Just under this twatty bloke you will soon be free from.

to be honest, if my boyfriend of 'mere months' made a snide comment about my friend's relationship with another consenting adult, I'd defend her even if I secretly agreed with him. and I'd tell him to wind his neck in.

Would you tell him that all women fancied 20 year old men.

Would you tell him that the only reason you weren't chasing one yourself was because 20 year old men were beneath you intellectually?

Would you tell him that this was The Truth about reality and that he couldn't know anything about it because he was just a stupid man?

It goes back to the stereotypes that only young men and women are attractive.

I hate attractive men being used to sell products as much as I hate attractive women being used.

You're right madging, we are programmed. But not by our nature but by the media portraying what is acceptable and attractive.

It is creepy for any person to target a much younger person based specifically on their age above all else. There is only one reason to do that - because you enjoy controlling someone you perceive as likely to be weaker than you.

That says nothing at all about whether it is possible for age gap relationships to be based on love and mutual respect or for them to be between people who are happy and want the same things.

What the op, I suspect, is now freaked out by is that her BF's statement seems to imply that it is legitimate and desirable for men to do this - target younger women because of their age. That this is normal and just the way men are.

Agree with doin it is the youth that is attractive to this type of man, not because of any crap about breeding but because they are attracted to the idea of control and not equality. They are essentially afraid of women the men who deliberately seek out young women. And that IS creepy.

The friend may just have happened to have really liked a particular person who happened to be that age, I don't know, but the idea that it is acceptable to deliberately seek out much younger women because they are much younger is what is creepy.

I also don't get the 'don't make a big deal of it' stuff. It is not a big deal, it is a new BF of a matter of months not a long otherwise happy marriage of a number of years. This kind of stuff is exactly why you should dump someone early on - now is the time he is on his best behaviour, good reason to suspect worse will come if it continues.

I also don't get the 'don't make a big deal of it' stuff. It is not a big deal, it is a new BF of a matter of months not a long otherwise happy marriage of a number of years. This kind of stuff is exactly why you should dump someone early on

Precisely

When I was 19 I had a 4 year relationship with a lecturer at my college. It was only when I was older did I realise how manipulative he really was at an age when I didn't have enough experience of life to know better. Threatening to kill himself if I left, isolating me from my friends, trying to make me dependent on him, wanting me to have children when I wanted to go to Uni. Men may find women of that age attractive but is it good for women of that age to be with much older men...?

I really don't see the issue. I know for a fact that at 25 I'm more beautiful than I will be at 35. That's the whole aging thing. And at 25 my husband is 35. We've been married 6 years. Both consenting adults, don't see anything creepy about our relationship at all.