Would this statement irritate you too?

[Wheretheresteqthereshope]

"Men fancy 20-24 year olds"

This is what my new partner of mere months said to me. I'm 34, the same age as him.

Dump

Trifle I can only go on what the OP has told me. I can't judge the rest of his character but she didn't say that he said they also fancy women not in that age range.

Twat: Which means there is a gap in the information. We can't advise her to dump until we know, surely?

Trifle, yes there is a gap but isn't there always on MN?

What he needs is to chat up an attractive young girl of that age and for her to laugh at him and say, "on your bike, Grandad!" Cruel I know, but could you set him up in this situation?
It'll bruise his ego but so what?

Twat: Of course, but seriously, to tell her to leave him when we don't actually know what he meant - isn't that just shit-stirring? Why not just say we don't know what she should think because his meaning isn't clear?

Oh I'd reply with something to make him equally Insecure such as women fancy rich/toned/tall/dark haired men insert whichever he isn't.

Whenever he makes such comments fire back with your own and see how he reacts.

I fancy a young Brad Pitt but I wouldn't say it to an average guy, knowing he isn't Brad Pitt.

Not all men are dicks.

He doesn't sound like someone I would want to date.

He doesn't sound very introspective.

Or like he thinks about things deeply.

Or like he ever considers opinions or experiences that are different from his own.

I have limited information here of course.

If this was in the context of physical attractiveness vs being attracted to a whole person, and the influence of personality on how you see someone, or perhaps related to the casting of Hollywood movies and how female actors get a rum deal, this could be a poorly-worded sentence uttered by someone who does do all the things above.

He was trying to justify how I though it was 'creepy' (I think it is). He does find 20 year olds attractive, he said as much, but added he could never have a meaningful relationship with domeonebthatbyoung because there'd be no common ground etc.

Writing that down makes me realise how creepy it is. So it's ok to sleep with a 20 year old but you wouldn't marry one..

Trifle, I'm telling her what I would do. You are also free to give her your advice/opinion.

Although it seems that many would agree with me on here.

I do think a lot of men look at women that age and think 'she looks gorgeous' but the vast majority realise that they haven't got a chance in hell of them being found attractive so it's just a passing thought.

Same as I look at men and women much younger than me sometimes and think 'if only I was 30 years younger' . Never in a million years would I think about even attempting to chat them up.

Saying that to your partner of a few months is horrible though. I do chat to DH about other people we might find physically attractive but we've been together 30 years and know each other well enough not to feel diminished by it.

He's a twat for saying is publicly however, I think he's sadly right. Saw someone post a grim graph on here a few months back about the average ages of women that men & women are attracted to. Where as you'd expect, women's age type got older as they did, men between 20-50 all said between 20-23, which I think is pretty gross.
To me, it sounds like he was seeing a seed to justify future infidelity, do for that reason alone, I'd been him off

I don't think I'd be consulting MN of i didn't think it was strange. He proclaims to be 'honest' and that at least he dare say it. Many, many men think it apparently. I'm not a man, I don't know. I explained he can't use the biological argument because we've evolved. His man brain has evolved from the caveman days, it's not an excuse anymore.

Given the context it doesn't sound that awful, there probably are studies that show that biologically 20-24 is the most fertile age for women. That doesn't equate to a blanket statement that all men fancy all 20-24 year olds only obviously, but you do say he agreed it was 'creepy'. I think you're being a bit over sensitive tbh. Unless he bangs on about it, has a wondering eye or is in other ways a bit of a dick?

What a creep. I'd bin.

Twat: Really? You actually said LTB... But okay, happy to leave it there.

GRAPHS for anyone who likes graphs :)

OP, does he fancy you? Does he act like he fancies you? There is a world of difference between someone who is being 'honest' about what he thinks a lot of men think, and was accidentally insensitive, and someone who is implicitly telling you you are too old for him and he is only shagging you because he can't secure a younger model. Sorry to be blunt.

It's depressing. Seemingly a depressing truth. Perhaps I should stop being so sensitive about his feeling of who I find attractive in future.

He's made me feel like shit to be honest. And I'm very happy in my own skin so I don't appreciate being made to feel this way.

trifle he says he does. Very much so. And he has had relationships with women ta few years younger, and older than himself.

Apologies for the numerous typos

Hmm it's either a foolish and I'll thought out thing he said to defend his friend, or he's trying to make you feel insecure and "all the men your age don't fancy you anyway so you're lucky to have me". If he actually agrees with the sentiment of have to dump him, I couldn't be with someone who thought they were doing me a favour. Keep a close eye on him for any other comments that make you feel this way.

sounds about right

And that's the rub, isn't it, that he made you feel like shit?

So he's got what he wanted then you "feel like shit". There are plenty of mid thirties men who genuinely want a partner who is their equal and don't fixate on age as some kind of trophy. He sounds very immature. Please don't allow this to knock your self esteem it's hardly as if 34 is old!!