Would this statement irritate you too?

[Wheretheresteqthereshope]

"Men fancy 20-24 year olds"

This is what my new partner of mere months said to me. I'm 34, the same age as him.

A 34 year old dating a 24 year old wouldn't be creepy at all!

It's not like he's 70!

I don't think he's wrong perse. I'm sure there are 34 year old men who fancy 20 to 24 year olds, but that doesn't mean every man would be keen.

But the comment would irritate me in that context none the less.

I guess he was trying to defend his friend.

Maybe his friend just likes younger women, which isn't unusual when you look at men leaving for women 20 + years younger.

OP, as long as he treats you as someone he is attracted to and comments like this are the absolute exception, I think I would accept that he is just being honest when he admits that, for many men, a hot 22 year old is just that, a hot 22 year old. I'm the same when I see a topless Henry Cavill or Chris Hemsworth - both significantly younger than me in the relevant roles 😂 But I wouldn't beat my partner over the head about the fact that I find their attributes (chiselled six pack, broad shoulders - mmm) superficially attractive. And I also fancy Anthony Head.

He proclaims to be 'honest' and that at least he dare say it. Many, many men think it apparently.

DUMP

Really.

Men who like to tell women the "unvarnished reality" of what "all men" think are ALL sexist dicks.

It's a way of speaking out of both sides of his mouth:

1 "this is what men think. I know it is hurtful to you, but I am just being honest about your unattractiveness to men as a whole"

2 "but I am not like that. I will make an exception for you, because I am a NICE GUY."

You were happy in your own sjin and now you feel like shit.

He's a recent boyfriemd.

Dump.

This is crazy. There is nothing wrong with a 34 year old man dating a 24 year old man or woman. And I'm a 32 year old woman. Jennifer Lawrence is 26. 24 year old women are adult women. They are not trophies or idiots. They have left school, they are in the workplace. What is the difference between 24 and 34?

He didn't tell you out of the blue - you were insulting his friend and he was trying to defend him. You are massively massively overreacting.

He's probably right. Most men do find 20-25 year old women attractive.

I've no illusions that I'm better looking at 37 than at 25, so this comment wouldn't bother me coming from my dh.
But I know he's under no illusion that a 20 year old woman would be interested in him just because he thinks she's pretty (actually she might he's freakishly young looking).

In my late teens I was in a relationship with a narcissistic bully. I appreciate I can be sensitive to comments that seem concocted to make me feel insecure. I'm trying to take all these views on board.

It has made me feel like shit. I'm unsure if it was intentional or not. I have no reason to feel like shit, I look very good for my age, but more importantly- I'm a nice person. I hate superficiality. It doesn't matter what people look like, or rather it shouldn't matter.

I remember reading a survey said men find women aged 20-24 most attractive. Nothing wrong with that. It does tie in with when most of us (females) are at the peak of our physical attractiveness.

From speaking to a lot of men, I think this is the general consensus, tbh.

They might concede that they're not going to get a 20-24 year old.
They might concede that, if they ever want to have sex again, they might need to consider 'older women'.
They might even, reluctantly, agree that it might be a bit icky.

But that is essentially the message I have got from men. That the women they find desirable are 20-24 years old. And that is from men ranging from late 20s (understandably) to 50s.

Last man I dated was 42. I was 40.. He told me that he'd found it difficult coming to terms with dating an older woman. I dumped him. He started dating a 28 year old.

There's a huge difference between a 20 year old and a 24 year old.

A 34 yo lusting after a 20 yo is creepy.

DD is 22 and things 34 is old! That's how it should be IMO.

What is the difference between 24 and 34?

It's normally reckoned to be about a decade.

OP - he's a dick.

He is using "honesty" about what "other men" thinknas a way of negging you.

Men who target far younger women, barely into adulthood, are creepy.

You are allowed to think a 34 year old man looking for a 20 year old grilfriend is a creep.

Your boyfriend doesn't have any superior access to the truth.

Despite his reality penis.

It was a twattish comment. But I wouldn't bin him for one twattish comment!

I find it hard to read that women don't worry about their partners or husbands saying men fancy younger women because the partner knows or they know that they wouldn't have a chance with them.

I want my DP to fancy ME. No one else. Not because he doesn't have a shot with anyone else but because he loves me and has chosen to be in a committed relationship with ME. I don't fancy other blokes. I can look at them and see how they are considered attractive but I only fancy my DP.

But if we're all honest, we have to admit that a man of 34 seeking out a 20 year old girlfriend might be creepy, mainly because his attentions would probably make the woman uncomfortable, but a man admitting to finding a 20 year old attractive...? Not creepy. 20 year old women are adults, not kids.

However 20-24 year olds don't fancy boring balding 34 year old men

They might concede that, if they ever want to have sex again, they might need to consider 'older women'.

Weird that in speaking to so many, mamy men you didn't hear from any non-twats.

I know a lot of really beautiful and hot women of around your age.

Only neanderthal thriwbacks with shit genes are in their 30s chasing after barely adults.

We would all like that, Twat. Not many people can honestly say they never, ever find anyone but their partner physically attractive. I accept that my DH will sometimes find others attractive; he'd better not tell me that, though!

My sister was 24 when she started seeing her now-husband, who was 43. They now have a 2 year old son and seem very happy. They just fell in love.

It's not "a 20 year old".

It's "20 year olds".

Specifically targeting much younger women is what creeps do.

Defending it as what all men want to be doing us grim as fuck.

You can do better than this guy.

I want my DP to fancy ME. No one else

Are you really serious about that? I fancy other blokes - would never do anything about because I love dh. Expecting him never to fancy another women is seriously unrealistic. Expecting him never to cheat is fine.

Some men might. However as I've got older I've realised that lots of younger men fancy older women too!

He's a twat

why is it 'creepy' for a man in his mid-30s to like women of 20-24 (otherwise known as autonomous adults?) and how's it a bad thing for him to 'defend' his friend's decision to text a woman younger than you?! also, your boyfriend is hardly the first to acknowledge the phenomenon of men finding younger women more attractive than older women. nip down to the birthday section in clintons, you'll find more than one reference to it.

Yes I meant that. He can see other people as attractive, that's normal. But fancying them is a different thing completely.

I think there's fancying and there's fancying.

I'm 48, and I can look at some men in their 20s/30s and appreciate that they are gorgeous. I can imagine that in my 20s I'd have really fancied them, and I can easily see how very attractive they are.

However, I have no interest in having a relationship (casual sex or proper relationship) with them, because they are just too young, it would feel icky. When it comes to having sex and/or a relationship with someone, I only want men closer to my own age.

Depends in what context it was said. On its own it does sound bad, but if you were debating about for example men in general on OLD sites, then the statement is true. You get men upto 90+ on there looking for women under 30. Apparently any woman over 40 is considered ancient!