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[314dPiper]

Here we go!

Let the wisdom commence
The universe is in our favour!

Waving busy is the best way to be while time works its magic :) It takes time to get over someone you cared about, you are doing great but it will still take a while... Believe me I know!

But what I don't get is whats wrong with the haircut in 314 pic - I thought it would look nice 314 !

I'll see how I feel about cutting off all my hair in a week. If I still feel tempted then I'll do it. Fuck what men think. That's my mistake. Giving that the tiniest bit of consideration. I don't feel like dating. I feel overwhelmed. First thing this morning I saw a periodontist. I might need a gum graft after my orthodontic treatment is finished. I've spent €475 on my gob today. I also had wires tightened earlier. My teeth ache, my mouth in ribbons. Cervix in ribbons. Waiting for smear test results, STI results. I haven't had a letter yet to tell me when I'll be seen..

I also need to get in to work so I can send out a few more job applications, chase up a few people who never got back to me, find out if I need to book a different test slot if I'm doing an automatic test. I need to save, for a car, for insurance, for a gum graft, for botox!. I need to finish all my various self-help books. I look cross. My teeth ache. I need to do jillian michaels right now. Feeling out of practice so I'll do 30 DS level one followed by 15 mins of power yoga and then I will. feel. calm.

waving ugly solicitor! ha, you'll end up with this one!

Did copenhagen detect that you weren't animated by his company?

Namaste folks.

I cut all my hair of 2 years ago, never regretted it.

Before and after

Did you have a deep root planing at the perio 314 or actually open quad surgery?

Not this time. I had root planing and scaling about 6 years ago CiaoVerona and since then I've kept up to date with perio appointments.

What's open quad surgery! You're making me nervous Maybe I'll get a letter in the post tomorrow advising me that the results of my test are.......I need open quad surgery. Sounds bad.

I feel much better after Jillian Michaels and Seán Vigue.

What was I worrying about? All I need to do is make a list of what I need to do tomorrow , then a list of things I need to do quite soon. And fill in a few forms. It's all under control. It's all rolling forward.

Thanks for that Gast Noted.

Surgery is for patients that have gum disease that deep root scaling won't help, they open the flaps of your gums clean out the gums and stitch them back up, its usually done one quadrant at a time, it can lead to the margins between your gum line and teeth hence the need for grafts/dental restoration or cosmetic dental work.
I was trying to figure out why you'd need a gum graft......sounds like something has caused gum recession.

2 dates in one day Waving ! How do you do it? :)

Oh there's no great meaning to it waving just fancied keep on keeping on.

Ciao I have braces. I had the Root, Planing and Scaling six years ago as I had gum disease. The gum recession was stable all these years but the braces have exacerbated it. Are you a periodontist? Are you my periodontist! That would be weird.

I know waving you never have to worry about supply. It could take me weeks to get one date!

Sounds interesting. Im an extrovert who deals well with being alone but i want somebody to go out with.

Like you I think, I'd be more aware of missing the presence of a particular person I'd grown attached to, not a constant loneliness.
I think this OLD journey was prompted not by the loneliness I feel NOW, but loneliness I fear I will feel in the future.
But saying that, I would like to meet somebody who is there, like a male friend but more present. That would be nice.

I don't blame you that you're struggling. I looked at the dress that MSG ironed today, hanging up. I wondered how does a man go from squeezing that in to his genuinely busy schedule to 'we're not on the same page goodbye' in the space of about ten days.

I have to beware of the chase, the chase doesn't end the moment they sleep with you. It can go on a bit longer.

I think next time I would ask a man, teasingly, so, are you a thrill of the chase merchant! are you the dumper or the dumpee!? what's your ratio?

I'm going to ask. Straight out. And I'm going to fucking well listen.

It is hard to be without someone to spend time with/share moments with - done rather a lot of that! I think a lot of people get intensely involved in an interest cos they have the time - but not so possible with kids at home. I didn't feel it anything like as much when DS still lived at home though. Bu all the time I wanted someone to share with....

I still say a month is no tie at all but I get the feeling that people are getting exasperated - but don't worry cos we're not! :) For yourself, its a measure of further progress when you no longer feel the need to talk about it, then later you don't even think about it...

Dating is a mixed blessing - you know it should help but its a terrible chore & disappointing too...don't push yourself out there if yr not ready but arrange stuff with kids/friends. I know weekends can be so difficult when it feels the whole rest of the world is in couples...that goes back to getting engrossed in something...I had just said I was taking summer off (& that was 7 months since M) & going to spend it going to music & playing tennis when CB randomly came along... I'm not showing off(!) just demonstrating how random stuff is :)

I wasn't having anything to do with him of course - almost immediately went overseas for a month in June & had already arranged every w/end in July away... but somehow he's grown on me...so that it was quite hard to come back to a silent house after a lovely BH...but also having huge wobbles partly because his ex/their life together seems to have been so bling & I'm none of that...& can't see how he would be interested in such opposite women!

PS I don't look at the dating thread any more as I don't know anyone there any more (& besides they need to go through it - no use all our 'wisdom' if they haven't experienced stuff) so I'm guessing the elastic band thing is a variation on 'treat them mean keep them keen'? Personally I hate the idea of strategizing like that! I just want to be me - despite the heartache from NOT playing men... :(

I'm not sure if I understand the elastic theory but I'll google it. Is it to deliberately withdraw first yourself, to pre-empt their need for space? Sounds such hard work.

But I think that's why I didn't call MSG out on withdrawing from me before he went on holiday. I think I was subconsciously cutting him slack. But, it was just old fashioned thrill of the chase stuff, and not sticking around for the kill. I see that now. Very un-evolved. Very basic.

What still annoys me about him is that he sees himself as a good man. And told me a few times that he was a good man. Yet hang on, he did say all of his exes hate him.

Anyway, I must go back to MrCanceller later today in an email. I need to tell him that I'm not up for dating right now. Which is true. I need to make one piece of progress (licence or job offer) before I date any body, at all.. I enjoy Mr canceller's company. I wasn't expecting the sudden gear change he took with his email about wanting to roll around in bed. That did shock me. He could have risked a kiss first, in person. Rather than talk in an email about sex. Cart before horse.....

ocelot7 you're right. Different places on the two threads!

In the Ken Page book I'm reading or trying to read it talks about having a group of people who you trust to listen and advise you. Give you their real thoughts. So you're all learning together.

Ah yes. Elastic band. MSG. Maybe. I'd be interested to know what could have rescued it. Luckily I'm not sitting here thinking 'if only I'd managed it...'' I'm thinking fuck that! I'm glad I didn't turn myself inside out navigating that maze because he's not the prize. I don't really feel comfortable with that ''i'm the prize talk'' as what happens after they 'win' the prize is the point where I run aground, repeatedly!

I don't know what I could have done differently.

If I'm in this situation every again I might say, ''you're not giving me anything to bounce off here! I feel like I'm playing computer chess"

Because when he withdrew, it became harder to know what to say to him which made me feel borinng and it made me feel like I was trying to hard, but it was HIM. The boring ness was coming from him.

ocelot7 glad you're happy with CB!