Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

What a prick! Pissed offwith me because I've got my period.

909 replies

FindingSmeagol · 21/08/2016 15:12

I've been away from Dp for a week with dd 2. It was only meant to be a couple of nights but she ended up in hospital for one night with an infection (absolutely fine now) so I went from there to my family as I knew he'd be working and I wanted some support. First morning home and he notices San pro in the bathroom and says 'oh ffs your kidding?!' Um no these things happen monthly and no I've no control over it Hmm. I said 'you are Joking right? He's not. He feels cheated out of another few days of sex because he knows I'm not up for it in the first few days. Not really an AIBU. Just a 'what a cockwoble' klaxon type rant. Agh and breathe.

OP posts:
WoburnSands · 21/08/2016 18:21

I thought the same ArgyMargy imo it takes your mind off it!!

WoburnSands · 21/08/2016 18:22

Sorry, for my post above I realise that's not the issue. I do sympathise, my ex was similar to this in many ways

yorkshapudding · 21/08/2016 18:23

"I felt guilty for some unknown and absolutely stupid reason."

You're not stupid, he's just worn you down. Entitled, spoilt and unreasonable people often get what they want because they are so utterly convinced that the world owes them, it makes those around them question what's reasonable and what isn't. By consistently maintaining a position that sex is his basic human right and it's your duty to provide it, he's made you question your own feelings and created an atmosphere where saying 'no' isn't OK. In short, he's a massive twat.

Original poster
FindingSmeagol · 21/08/2016 18:23

I'm sorry I couldn't answer questions directly or in more detail earlier. I haven't avoided questions deliberately and will read the full thread in detail now. Dd is in bed now, hurrah!'

OP posts:
Original poster
FindingSmeagol · 21/08/2016 18:25

You're absolutely right, that's how I feel.

OP posts:
babyboomersrock · 21/08/2016 18:28

He would like me to see friends and family but would want to be there too

My ex was like that. Dressed it up as wanting us to spend time together but actually couldn't bear me to have any sort of life without him.

Think hard OP - is this the life you want?

Original poster
FindingSmeagol · 21/08/2016 18:29

Sometimes I enjoy it when I'm on. Sometimes I don't.

OP posts:
JenLindley · 21/08/2016 18:36

Oh I wasted so much time having crappy sex I didn't want just to avoid a row or a sulk fest or him sabotaging something I wanted to do. In the end those things happened anyway because the sex wasn't the issue, he was the issue. Him and his attitude to me. Which would never change. It's who he was/is. he still has zero respect for me 6 years after separating but at least I don't have to live with it and teach my DC that they should accept it or treat any woman like that.

justilou · 21/08/2016 18:40

With that kind of attitude, my period would start lasting for months!

Vickyyyy · 21/08/2016 18:42

I would be tempted to have some out of the blue month long period now tbh.

PepsiPenguins · 21/08/2016 19:00

It's time to really asses what you want out of life.

I was in a EA relationship, only sex was with-held and any form of affection, it went on for years - I met my now ex when I was 19, I finally made a break when I was early 30's - when ironically he left me the day I lost my high paying job and "couldn't offer him anything anymore" he had asked me to marry him when I made signs of wanting to leave, then trod on me even more.

I couldn't see what was happening, my friends did he destroyed me to the point I believed they hated me, I lost all my friends, I stopped all my hobbies - thankfully my BF stayed in touch.

When he left I felt so down trodden, I felt worthless. I felt I had to give in to his constant demands about how I looked, how I acted. I didn't have to put up with that, and you don't have to put up with a man who doesn't respect you

I'm only telling you this OP, as your thread has played on my mind all afternoon and it really doesn't have to be this awful for you, and when I was in it, I couldn't see it - but now I know what it is like to be with a real man in a very loving relationship. so when I read your story I did go somewhat cold and really felt for you - opposite situation with regards to sex but the same sort of controlling arsehole partner

You deserve better, no woman deserves to be in this type of relationship and looking back I wish I had left I wasted so much time.

I hope you choose better for yourself both you and your DD deserve it

Original poster
FindingSmeagol · 21/08/2016 19:15

That was a very heartfelt post. I'm sorry you had to endure that.
Now dd's asleep he's back on the blowjob wagon. Still a no of course.

OP posts:
DoinItFine · 21/08/2016 19:20

He is pressuring you into sex you don't want.

There's a name for that.

PepsiPenguins · 21/08/2016 19:31

finding thank you Flowers

Life is just too short to put up with this type of behaviour, I wish I hadn't put up with what I did for so long, I just wanted to share so you realised that you don't have too.

And it's really hard, really hard - my arsehole wanted back in when I was back earning a good wage, he discovered via my LinkedIn I had started a new job, took everything I had to say no as I thought I still loved the arsehole.

I'm glad you have MN again, I wish I had, had it back then!

riceuten · 21/08/2016 19:35

Isn't this what internet grot is for - direct him there

Crazycatladyloz82 · 21/08/2016 19:38

I would be giving the bj. 3 seconds in I would develop some issue and bite very very hard. That will teach the fucker

expatinscotland · 21/08/2016 19:50

'Now dd's asleep he's back on the blowjob wagon. Still a no of course.'

What a fucking creep!

Trifleorbust · 21/08/2016 19:51

Are you kidding me? He is still going on?

EnidButton · 21/08/2016 19:52

Pepsi FlowersFlowers Sorry you went through that. Very glad you're happy now.

EnidButton · 21/08/2016 20:00

Please tell him to fuck off and have a wank.

Eirabach378 · 21/08/2016 20:06

Tell him to fuck off and have a wank.. and I just realise someone else am had just suggested this.

If I were you I would be having very serious conversations with him. He is behaving disgustingly. Don't have sex with him until you actually want to have sex with him. That may be in a month, a year or never. I vote the latter

BroomhildaVonShaft · 21/08/2016 20:08

If you have to say no to sex more than once then you're with a person who thinks it's acceptable to coerce someone into unwanted sex. That's a bald truth.

Lweji · 21/08/2016 20:13

You should be telling him to sort it as the wanker that he is, yes.

Original poster
FindingSmeagol · 21/08/2016 20:14

He's making stupid and constant double entendre type jokes, oh you enjoyed that bit of meat (chicken for dinner) how about you have a taste of mine or just a blatant why don't you get down on you're knees for your dessert. 'Oh just fuck off'! I've gone out to buy period busting ice cream.

I hadn't really thought of it in a more sinister manner. Just an annoying pestering one but you're right.

OP posts:
PepsiPenguins · 21/08/2016 20:14

Thanks Enid not without complications in my life but DP is definetly not one of them Smile

Swipe left for the next trending thread