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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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What a prick! Pissed offwith me because I've got my period.

909 replies

FindingSmeagol · 21/08/2016 15:12

I've been away from Dp for a week with dd 2. It was only meant to be a couple of nights but she ended up in hospital for one night with an infection (absolutely fine now) so I went from there to my family as I knew he'd be working and I wanted some support. First morning home and he notices San pro in the bathroom and says 'oh ffs your kidding?!' Um no these things happen monthly and no I've no control over it Hmm. I said 'you are Joking right? He's not. He feels cheated out of another few days of sex because he knows I'm not up for it in the first few days. Not really an AIBU. Just a 'what a cockwoble' klaxon type rant. Agh and breathe.

OP posts:
JacquettaWoodville · 26/08/2016 22:49

The Samaritans are also there, they are not just for the suicidal. May be one to keep in mind if you are feeling like drinking but want to talk to someone instead.

venusinscorpio · 27/08/2016 00:05

Weirdly, my abusive ex loved me having periods. I have really shit periods and I think he liked me being all weak and pathetic. He could be patient (a bit) about sex, it was a need to control and jealousy that he had a problem with and he didn't have to worry about that if I didn't go out. He would make me go to bed and bring me chocolate and hot water bottles and tea. To anyone else he would have looked like the perfect boyfriend. He really wasn't.

erinaceus · 27/08/2016 03:10

When I spoke to womens aid they suggested I get in touch with someone local. So yy try to do that?

Flowers
differentnameforthis · 27/08/2016 06:43

Yes, if I said no he'd always try and talk me round. OP, if you have been having sex after coercion, he has been raping you.

Relenting is not consenting. Flowers

DropYourSword · 27/08/2016 07:12

I have read each of your updates with mounting horror, but have not read all of the other posters responses so I apologise if this has already been said.
You might have to consider the prospect that him seeingyou being 'secretive' online, you going away for an unprecedented weekend, and if you cut and colour your hair, he may well interpret this as you having an affair. It might be worth being prepared for him to make these kind of accusations (especially if you take ownership of your own body and don't acquiesce to him every time as he currently expects).

mathanxiety · 27/08/2016 07:29

Outside help isnt something he'd approve of.

Why am I not surprised at that particular gigantic red flag?

mathanxiety · 27/08/2016 07:31

You can e-mail Women's Aid.

Please keep trying to contact them. They are sadly overwhelmed most of the time, and underfunded. But they will get back to you.

Keep on trying to leave a message too.

Look for your local Rape Crisis centre as well.

mathanxiety · 27/08/2016 07:36

I do not want him to psychologically damage dd. He's not always shouting at her and she is a cheeky handful! He thinks she walks all over me and gets away with anything under my care. He thinks I've been too soft on her and not disciplined her enough but I just see her as a typical, if slightly wild toddler.

No surprises there either.

Just a few obswervations:
He is criticising you as a mother.
He is thus undermining your confidence in your parenting instincts and whatever influences have made you the parent that you are.
He is conditioning her to only respond to shouting, making any gentler approach on your part both confusing to her and also likely to fail.
You are therefore being set up to fail.
You are being pushed into self doubt and second guessing of your approach.

I would guess that he likes seeing you with a drinking problem, as this weakens you too.

Shakey15000 · 27/08/2016 07:46

I hope you have a peaceful weekend x

erinaceus · 27/08/2016 07:46

You are doing all the right things FindingSmeagol. Do let us know if you have any questions, and do everything that you can to keep yourself safe. In my area, a GP would be able to get you help quickly, if that was what needed to happen, depending on how much you were able to say to your GP. The help may come from MH services, but would not get you a diagnosis if none were warranted. In my area MH services, women's services and so on are all joined up. So you might want to go via your GP? It is just a suggestion.

dontmentionit · 27/08/2016 07:49

Flowers to you op.
Relevant to what happening in my world. Will come back and read thread when there are no 👀 about

PapaverSomniferum · 27/08/2016 07:58

Smeagol I was so appalled by your last dozen or two posts (about the circumstances of you meeting, how he treated you about not being sufficiently 'pure' Angry etc) that I was going to write a post that asked you to imagine your DD in a relationship where [a list of the things he's done and is doing to you] happens to her, and how would you feel about that/advise her? You seemed quite overwhelmed, though, by the replies you were getting and the realisations you were having at that point, so I didn't. I really hope, though, that you are starting to see how very, VERY wrong this all is.

Anyway, I think, from your last post, that I just realised which your other thread was (re: drinking too much). If so, I think it's great that you are prioritising getting a handle on that. I read this article this morning and thought of you... qz.com/762868/giving-up-alcohol-opened-my-eyes-to-the-infuriating-truth-about-why-women-drink/ ... it's by an American but very funny and perceptive, and I thought it might resonate a bit with you. 💐

NigellasGuest · 27/08/2016 09:30

Just popping on to say well done OP and please please delete your browsing history and log out each time you leave any support site including MN
Flowers

Piehunter · 27/08/2016 10:32

Oh smeagol I've just read through your whole thread Flowers

4 years ago I ended an abusive, controlling relationship, I was only with him 18 months so it was very different to your situation, but the tools he used were similar and there's a couple of things I felt I could add.. The narcissism is typical, as is the underlying low self esteem, talking themselves up big (you're lucky to have me, I'm not like other men..) they tell you they need you to keep you, my ex threatened (and did) harm himself if I left during arguments, it was far more effective than shouting, and i was completely under his control until I was able to see that his feelings were his responsibility, not mine. He had a very complex past that he tried to blame and use. He also pressured me into sex when I didn't want it, and denied me it when I did- as he liked to keep control.

I expect that as things escalate as you stand up for yourself again after him being used to manipulating you in a very set manner, that he may well go to the blame/hurting his feelings route rather than shout/screaming/throwing things and onwards, my ex did that only if trying to use my own guilt, that he manufactured to destroy me, didn't work..

No one around me knew anything of the manipulative side of him, just the besotted, dedicated man that stood beside me through everything. It was a big shock to them that I "suddenly" left him (I'd been at my parents for 3 weeks incredibly ill and he'd not been to see me once as I couldn't meet his needs, sexual or emotional as I was so poorly) having spent the previous couple of months thinking it all through and realising things weren't right.

My mum found me this very useful video that explains a bit about abusers. I still find it very hard to admit to myself that I "let" myself be controlled, I still live with shame and disgust at myself for falling for his lies and giving up my rights and parts of myself... It took me a long while to accept that it was in fact abusive- he never hit me!- and I got so caught up in "I would never let that happen/it doesn't happen to strong, confident people like me"... My husband can't see how it happened as I'm feisty and stubborn but I know that if he was the type, he could control me too, they know how to get past all the defences, they learn how to batter you down until you're a shell to do their bidding. There is no shame, it is not your fault.

It can, and does, happen to anyone. It becomes normality and of course there are good bits too, the bits you look at when you feel hurt by them and justify their behaviour with... You've survived, with enough of yourself intact, look forward to the future, think about what you want for yourself, get your hair cut and something pierced! You can rebuild yourself without leaving until you're ready, you'll be getting stronger again each day you think about how YOU want your life to be.

Piehunter · 27/08/2016 10:34

Forgot the video! www.ted.com/talks/leslie_morgan_steiner_why_domestic_violence_victims_don_t_leave?language=en it doesn't apply just to physical abuse but i found it useful

FindingSmeagol · 27/08/2016 14:32

Thanks for the advice and all the solidarity tea last night Brew. Me and dd are happily miles away for the weekend. He wasn't particularly impressed with my going but is working the whole time so wasn't a complete arse about it.

Good advice about keeping safe on the Internet. I'm doing most of that already it was just a slip up last night and I'm surprised he pounced on it.

I didn't realise how many of you who've been helping have been through similar. Sorry for anyone that's had a difficult or abusive partner in the past.

Dd is fully recovered thanks to whoever asked. You'd never had known she's been ill.

It's easy to ignore the problem when I'm away like this but I will try to use the free time tonight to look up more support.

OP posts:
venusinscorpio · 27/08/2016 15:30

It's possible he's somehow sensed that things have changed in your mind. If he's not normally bothered about what you read it seems a little worrying. Stay safe, take care and enjoy a bit of freedom to think about the best way forward for you and your little girl. Flowers

Naicehamshop · 27/08/2016 17:45

Be careful and stay safe OP. Flowers

ptumbi · 27/08/2016 18:16

Please be careful OP. This man will NOT relinquish control easily, and he will not go quietly.

get your ducks in a row, and LEGAL ADVICE before you reveal your hand.

purplepandas · 27/08/2016 20:01

Rooting for you and your DD op. Really glad she is better. Lots of support for you here.

Offred · 27/08/2016 21:05

Eesh, this is a tough read. :(

I hope you enjoy the weekend. You are doing so well and your posts are so eloquent and articulate.

FindingSmeagol · 27/08/2016 21:40

venus I'm sure he's sensed a shift in my attitude. Last night something happened that made me question myself massively. He was doing the usual pestering thing over and over and I eventually relented (please don't judge) but then once I was in the bedroom and 'ready' he sort of playfully slapped me on the arse and laughed and said something like 'babe, you're clearly not up for it, let's leave it , anyway I had a wank earlier' and walked out of the room. WTAF. This now makes me think maybe i just wasn't being clear enough before and he really thought I was up for it. I'm trying to be more resistant in his advances now and he's asked me why and what's my problem? But then this. So odd.

Anyway I feel happy and relaxed away from him tonight and yes my desire to drink is there as it always is but much, much less.

I'm curled up in bed about to crack on with the freedom project book 'living with the dominator'.

OP posts:
DoreenLethal · 27/08/2016 21:48

It is not odd. He has sensed a change and wants to be my nice guy so that you don't walk out. Do not question yourself...it is all part of his game.

Do not forget they do not change the control they just change the techniques. To make you doubt yourself.

dowhatnow · 27/08/2016 22:08

It's possible you haven't been clear enough but I think Doreen is probably more right in that he's just changed tack as he suspects something is up.

Anyway it will soon become clear. He may well change in the immediate term but it won't last according to the testiments of all the other posters who've walked in your shoes.
Carry on resisting more and more. Baby steps. It will become obvious one way or another.

venusinscorpio · 27/08/2016 22:21

No one is going to judge you smeagol. Please don't worry about what people here think.