What a prick! Pissed offwith me because I've got my period.

[FindingSmeagol]

I've been away from Dp for a week with dd 2. It was only meant to be a couple of nights but she ended up in hospital for one night with an infection (absolutely fine now) so I went from there to my family as I knew he'd be working and I wanted some support. First morning home and he notices San pro in the bathroom and says 'oh ffs your kidding?!' Um no these things happen monthly and no I've no control over it . I said 'you are Joking right? He's not. He feels cheated out of another few days of sex because he knows I'm not up for it in the first few days. Not really an AIBU. Just a 'what a cockwoble' klaxon type rant. Agh and breathe.

doesn't like to make me come to often as it satisfies me too much in his eyes and that means I'll be less on for sex next time he wants it.

Oh

My

Fucking

God

Do you know that is the worst thing you've written yet?

I actually think I might vomit.

I'm starting to doubt tgis could even be real because it is so fucked up.

There is no chance that this bastard can ever be a decent partner.

He is evil.

His mum would do anything for him. He is her favourite child. He takes then piss out of her a lot and gets exasperated with her but also he was her defender against his Dad when he was little.

He loves dd to bits but she is an awesome, feisty little whirlwind and I thinks he struggles to control her.

he struggles to control her.

Don't worry.

He'll figure it out.

Oh my goodness. Read your last post back to yourself sweetheart. He seems to think you're some sort of primitive creature, who can't be allowed to enjoy sex too much because the consequences - for him - might be bad. God forbid you have an enjoyable sexual experience and become "too satisfied" for more. What fucked up logic. Has it never occurred to him that the more enjoyable sex is, the more you might want?

I doubt he even cares. Your orgasm is irrelevant to him. He'd rather make no effort and carry on using you like a wanksock.

I'd love to know whether he's simply a misogynist, or whether his contempt is just for you.

He doesn't like to make you come because you'll be less up for sex with him?

It doesn't occur to him that if you enjoy sexual activities more, you might do them more? Or, more simply, that if he loves you, he should want you to have a good time?

Do you know if he bought sex before you got together? Or if his previous sexual partners were all a fair bit younger?

Oh dear god. I've read this thread with increasing horror and your last couple of posts...please get out. Just get the hell out of this world of fucked up-ness.

Your DD is 2, I think?

There should be no element of trying to control her! Keep her safe and teach her to be kind, yeah. But control?

Fucking hell, that is some of the most shocking stuff I've read on here - and I've been here a long time

Can you not see how totally wrong this is, on every hideous level?

He doesn't like to make you orgasm too often because you enjoy it and it'll make you less up for sex next time HE wants it?

Oh. My. Goodness.

This is just wrong. So very, very wrong. He is using you as his personal fuck puppet. Is this ringing any alarm bells for you at all??

Dear god, I too have read this thread with increasing horror.

I have never wanted someone to ltb so much in my life.

Well op, I'm even more appalled for you than I was before I read these last updates. I had a sexually very dysfunctional and abusive relationship with a teacher of mine in my teens. He was forever going on about the one and only time before him that I had had sex and always questioning me on past sexual exploits with boys my own age (spoiler, there were none apart from one two month relationship with a fellow teenager who I shagged once but had done other stuff with). He would get really angry about it, especially when drunk, and call me a slut. Fucking disgusting behaviour that I look back on now and see as part of the abuse.

You've been abused too. Definitely.

Bloody hell, Smeagol, that really is one of the most chilling things I've read on here. And I've read a lot of really shit stuff on the relationships board. I know you must be all over the place at the moment - a chance incident makes you re-evaluate all the stuff you've been in denial about for years, and it will be a complete head-fuck for you, and it's going to take you time to get your head round it - but really, seriously, long term, start making an escape plan, because you really cannot stay with this man. He is monstrous.

I wish I hadn't of brought some of that stuff up. It's really upsetting to read back and upsetting but once again validating to read that it's not normal loving behaviour.

Of course I can see some of this is wrong. My first few posts on this thread were pure seething anger at his behaviour.

So you don't even get to enjoy a lot of the sex you have to perform to keep him happy.

This is so fucked up.

What a selfish wanker.

Oh my god OP - this is so disturbing I feel sick. I'm so sorry you have put up with this for so long.

What was he like when you gave birth - was he there?

Oh Smeagol - hugs. And I wish I could magically make things better for you - my sister spent 20 years in an abusive relationship, and he made her do some weird things sexually, so I have seen this up close in real life, and I just wish no woman had to go through it, ever. I can see how you must be feeling a kind of flight-or-fight, but probably mainly flight response of "oh no, I've said too much" and a kind of Pandora's box feeling, but I really hope it helps you in the long term. I hope this isn't too corny, but remember the last thing out of Pandora's box was hope.

Of course if it's too much please don't answer that

I've never, ever posted on a relationships type thread before tonight. This has appalled me beyond words. I read some of it to my husband and he was utterly disgusted that men like this even exist.
I really don't know what to say other than to add my voice to the chorus of 'no this isn't normal'. It is awful. There is a massive inequality in your relationship and in my humble view, it is abusive. You sound lovely - bright, intelligent, articulate, and totally in love with your little daughter (I have one I guess roughly about the same age).
I think you would be happier without him (understatement). Just let yourself imagine that - does it feel liberating? You could do it, you know.
As for the drinking thing - well done for recognising it's a problem, but he's a bigger one. Maybe being sober is helping you realise that, but please don't stay with him because you're worried about falling off the wagon. I really, really wish you well.

MN is here for you, smeagol. Always.

^He's always struggled with my having a small sexual past. I remember getting quite drunk and stoned with him when I was about 18ish and
Felt I had to confess that I'd once given a boy a bj before I met him. He almost broke up with me over that and I spent the next week doing anything I could to make it up to him.^

I've been in exactly the same situation when I was the same age as you were. It's pathologically jealous, controlling abusive behaviour.

Smeagol you've had quite an alarming few days - this must be quite a lot to take on board.

I think you need a bit of time to absorb some of the realisations you're beginning to make.

I'm sorry you're having to absorb all of this awful "feedback". You are taking it all brilliantly, I have to say. You're not making excuses or minimising. You really can see the bigger picture.

In case it has to be said... You have a right to do exactly as you wish with your own body, be that tattoos, a wank or refusing sex. An absolute total and complete right.

I hope you can make plans to leave.

I rarely get angry on here and am not a violent person but I want to punch the perverted, degrading, whiny little cuntsap in the face.

Seriously read back a few posts ago.

Would it be ok for you to withhold orgasm to him so you can be satisfied again in a day or two's time.

No?

Well why is it OK for him then?

Why should he get pleasure and not you? Honestly, any good reason.

I'm not mad at you I'm just exasperated that you can't see it's all wrong.

You must know it's all wrong as you would hate your daughter being in this situation.

The only time you should have sex is when you want it.

This - I can't even call him a man - has really cornered you.

So what if you did sleep with someone before him? The key is in the word before. How dare he hold it against you and judge your purity.

Again if you said you didn't want to be with him as he wasn't pure, would that be OK?

I just want so much more for you.

I have my suspicions why you are reluctant to leave him too.

But you need to look out for you and your DD.

I want to hug you and shake you and kick him in the cock in equal measure.

Please read your own posts and imagine it's your sister/friend/a work colleague who said this is happening to them. How much of it is acceptable.

Thinking of you I know how it is to feel guilty and to feel degraded but hell you are a woman and just because you are a woman, doesn't mean your wants come second.

AND BREATHE