Being abused doesn't always make you frightened in the sense that you would be if someone jumped you (though that does happen). ime it is a degredation of the soul. It's the question of whether you are a good person, and often he will guide you to thinking you are shit.
Bottom line is he degrades you and does not care about how you feel so he can use you when he wants and for his benefit.
Being abused is bloody confusing because in your efforts to keep him happy you feel like you are partly if not totally to blame and he is blameless or has reasons that usually mean you're being unreasonable. So you don't feel like you're being punched in the face and getting a broken nose. Rather that you are slowly being eroded as a person into someone who you don't want to be or recognise, based on his idea of who you are and what you should be.
It's because there is a fundamental problem: you have empathy, he does not. That means you assume he feels pain when you get hurt, and don't underestand why he can't see you're upset - he must be right, it must be that you shouldn't actually be upset. Whilst he cannot feel your pain and so when you get upset when he hurts you, he says 'why are you upset?' because he quite literally cannot feel or fathom that you feel pain. Only he has feelings.
So, when he wants his quickie before work, you have learnt that to resist is pointless - he'll either get shitty quickly or batter you emotionally by ignoring you or badgering you for the next day or so. He knows you have said no, but your feelings do not matter to him. He doesn't care one way or the other.
It's also confusing because sometimes it appears he does care- he may kiss you or cuddle you or give you a gift. But these gifts are given so that he gets something back. He isn't giving them to you purely so you feel good inside as he can't feel that. He is giving them to you so you are placated and happy, and that means you give something back to him which makes him happy. It is never unconditional.