What a prick! Pissed offwith me because I've got my period.

[FindingSmeagol]

I've been away from Dp for a week with dd 2. It was only meant to be a couple of nights but she ended up in hospital for one night with an infection (absolutely fine now) so I went from there to my family as I knew he'd be working and I wanted some support. First morning home and he notices San pro in the bathroom and says 'oh ffs your kidding?!' Um no these things happen monthly and no I've no control over it . I said 'you are Joking right? He's not. He feels cheated out of another few days of sex because he knows I'm not up for it in the first few days. Not really an AIBU. Just a 'what a cockwoble' klaxon type rant. Agh and breathe.

This is heartbreaking. I feel physically sick reading your posts OP. Please, please think seriously about getting away from this man he is vile. Men like him don't change, he will always feel that it is his right to use your body when he wants. You deserve so much more than that. You are not pathetic at all, he's conditioned you to feel like this. It's abuse. He's abusive.

You're not pathetic. Everything revolves around him and his needs though.

No should mean no. The advances and pestering should stop immediately! You shouldnt feel like you have to get into it, especially if you dont want to.

Yes, if I said no he'd always try and talk me round.

This is very very very wrong. No man worth the name would do that. If you say no then you say no. 'Talking you round' sounds like pressurising you in to it in my opinion.

FindingSmeagol your posts are so sad.

Please try and stop giving a crap about the feelings of a creature who has no concern for your feelings or physical wellbeing.

Your feelings, wants and desires are important and valid, what you want and don't want is important and valid.

I was with ex for many years who treated me like your P does you, the best thing I did was divorce the arsehole.

It's not right for anyone to expect sex from their partner as their right, it is not right for anyone to coerce anyone into having sex. Such a person is not a partner or a lover or anything approaching a companion they don't deserve having their feelings taken into account, a decent person would not want to have sex with someone who was not into it.

Please take care of yourself. This is so so sad & stomach churning to read.

Another one feeling sick at his actions.

You've been worried out of your mind, had a sick child and hardly any sleep and he's trying to dictate to you what your body does, riding rough shod over what you, the owner of the body, is saying.

That's really wrong, OP. You matter - he acts like you don't,

It took me until a few months after stopping breastfeeding to really want sex again so about 18 mths total. During that time my partner was supportive and caring and waited for me to be ready. At no point did he make me feel guilty for being "less affectionate" since DD was born.

Your partner is a pig and doesn't deserve you (or any woman). His behaviour and attitudes towards sex in your relationship are all wrong and I really hope you find the strength to leave him.

Smeagal All the advice you're getting here is spot on.
What kind of father is he going to be when your DD reaches puberty (seeing as to him women are made for the sole purpose of fucking and oh yes the obligatory blowjob! ).

Don't see yourself as pathetic but do visualse DD in your shoes.
Would you call yourself pathetic then?

I feel sick just reading his comments to you. I really don't know how you can be in the same room, under the same roof let alone share space on a sofa!!

No means no. Yes, wanker, even if you are married .
You can do better.

Smeagol not Smeagal 😳

Oops just to be clear, you are not the wanker in this scenario, OP.
Your H is.

Your Oh is definitely a wanker Op.

You deserve so much better than that.

I don't have anything to add to what's been said except to say how sad this is OP and please listen to what's gone before. His behaviour is disgusting and you've obviously been putting up with it for so long you can't see that anymore. You and your DD deserve so much better.

OP you are being abused pure and simple.
Check out this website:
www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/recognising-domestic-abuse/

and especially this bit:

Sexual violence: using force, threats or intimidation to make you perform sexual acts; having sex with you when you don’t want it; forcing you to look at pornographic material; constant pressure and harassment into having sex when you don’t want to, forcing you to have sex with other people; any degrading treatment related to your sexuality or to whether you are lesbian, bisexual or heterosexual.

Then get rid of the bastard. You deserve better than this.

What would you like to happen op?

OP, the very fact that he is still going on about this shows he has no respect for you. Is this how he behaves about other issues? Just carping on until he bullies you into behaving how he wants you to behave? Does he act like this at work (minus demands for sex!)?

You try to make yourself get into sex? So you do have sex you don't want?

It's not your job to look after his feelings.

Pay attention to your own feelings for a change. Find them. Sit with them.

This has been quite difficult to read.

What would I like to happen? To not be pestered for sex and not to feel guilty or frigid if I say no. I do enjoy a sexual relationship with him most of the time and he can be considerate in bed sometimes. It does feel that often sex has become something that has to be done if we know we won't see each other much in the next few days to 'keep him going' and tbh I resent it when it's like that. He is still expecting a blowjob after work today. Why can't I just tell him where to get off?

I can't look at it as abuse. That's just to horrendous to contemplate. I'm going through big life changes for the better in another problem area of my life and I don't want anything to knock me off course.

Whatever this other area of your life is it more important than 1, getting away from sexual violence, and 2, making sure your daughter doesn't keep seeing her mum tolerate being exposed to abuse and her assuming that it's OK?

OP did you witness domestic violence when you were younger?

Why not combine two good things?

Getting rid of this man can only improve your life.

He is still expecting a blowjob after work today.

:(

He treats you like a whore.

He expects a blowjob he knows you don't want to give.

That is sexual abuse.

Or the other big word yiu don't want to contemplate.

It must be so difficult to be coming to terms with this.

If you need to find equilibrium to deal with other stuff first, then do that.

Put a pin in this.

But don't forget. And come back to it when you are stronger.

And please don't let that foul bastard away with forcing you into giving him a blowjob later. Ick.

He knows you don't want to give him a blow job on command

Hhe gets an extra kick out of that

Have a good think about what kind of man that makes him. And whether he has a place in your family life.

Please listen to DoinItFine

This is abuse and will get worse.

What Any Fucker said. 100%.

he can be considerate in bed sometimes

And the times he isn't?

He should be considerate EVERY time, without exception