not feeling OLD?....dating thread 107

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

It's good to read the success stories of late!

All I'm coming up against are flakey men or men after one thing. It's hard work, my faith is dying!

Even the plaster has flaked on me after chasing me for another date after my booty call to him last week so I saved tonight's child free night for plans with him as he insisted he wanted to take me out. He's text me all week whist I'v been on holiday and then radio silence today.

Rule 6 is hard when it keeps happening. I'm now letting past dates take up space in my head. I'm going to have a bottle of wine and pamper myself tonight. F**k men. (Well it would be rude not to have a little tinder swipe)

Yep delivered but not read and he's been online! those blue bloody ticks have a lot to answer for!

Lots of action on here at the mo and boo to flakey men!!

Feeling a bit insecure re MrPosh now we've DTD. He's texted me since, just saying he's watching a band etc but hasn't suggested another time to meet up. I know he's v busy with his job, he's off to Italy this week for work and he lives an hour's drive away so can't expect to see him too often but it's hard! We were chatting about the new Ricky Gervais film and I'd like to suggest we go see it but he might already have plans for next weekend.

Should I mention it or play it cool? Not been looking on any of the dating sites since Fri but I prob should as I don't know how this is going to pan out...

Welcome newbies.

What's wrong with all these men?! Waving Could he be busy/have no signal/charge?

minop can you see if he's been active on social media no, it's not really stalking

Destiny yes, don't over invest. Keep your options open and look at other irons just in case, then if Mr Posh does get in touch, it'll be a nice bonus.

Sicknspan I love the tall ones too (over 6 feet preferably). I'm only 5'6" & they just make me feel so feminine. It's lovely. I slept with someone who was 5'8" once and i couldn't get the image of a horny smurf out of my head. Plus, I felt massive next to him and we had the same size feet.

Well done EmilyBrontesCorset He sounds like a keeper and it's great that he's not so straight laced after all!

One more thing I just remembered he said to me that was nice. I've put on about half a stone lately and I'm now 11 stone. ( mainly on my tummy ). I said to him when we were lying in bed in the morning that I wanted to lose weight and he said,
' You don't want to lose TOO much' 😀😀

In my mind, if you don't want the men to flake or play games then you need to not do this yourselves.
If you want to message the other person then message them, even if they usually are the ones to make first contact.
If you want to suggest meeting up based upon a good hunch for a date then suggest it.

As Gandhi said "Be the change you want to see in the world"

ReCycled I love that. Can think of lots of way to apply that to my life right now. For example, even though STBXH left 8 months ago in lots of ways particularly when stressed I'm parenting as though he's there although I know that there are other probably better ways. He made us all stressed and I want to be more positive and see more positivity at home.

When I talk and text Mr Walker I'm ignoring WMLB and trying to be honest. Hope Gandi is right and he's being honest back. Otherwise I'm in for a fall as I really like him.

Waves I'd give it at least 2 days for a reply if someone's on holiday as it could be hard to get online properly and he could be swimming so not near phone much. (Hoping you hear soon).

Destiny did poshwriter want a serious relationship? Either way you could suggest film and see what he says - why would it make things worse?

minop maybe his phone's broken? Does he have other contact details? (Hope you get reply soon too).

Phones not broke he text saying his mum called in unannounced for the day. Which is fair enough but there's no way he couldn't have text this morning and told me that when I can see he's been on whatsapp and just not bothered to let me know. Told him I hope he has a good night.

Left it at that and that's that iron out the fire.

NEXT

minop how annoying. Really inconsiderate. You've definitely got the right attitude with 'next' and to find someone deserving of your previous child free time.

waving fingers crossed he's just busy on holiday. When I was on holiday, I spent all day on the beach/ in the pool and so left my phone in the safe in the room. Also had very patchy wifi.

Someone asked what I thought of Guardian Soulmates ( sorry, on phone and struggling to scroll back and find the poster). It's been ok- my first stab at OLD so nothing to compare it to. No dic pics but plenty of delusional types and not many tall men ( well not many contacting me!)

Having a bit of a dating overlap dilemma. Had agreed to meet mrkent tomorrow lunchtime and mrcagey tomorrow night. mrkent has been messaging back and forth all weekend ( perhaps a little too much but at least seems keen) until I asked what he wanted to do tomorrow - can see he's read the message but that was almost 4 hours ago. Not a problem in itself other than mrcagey has just asked if we can meet tomorrow lunchtime instead as he has meetings close to where I live. Now I don't know what to do! I have also developed the two most mahoosive spots so actually want to hide under my duvet! However it is my only child free day this week so feel I should be proactive. How long do I give mrkent to reply?

clawdeen I suppose it depends who you want to see the most! But maybe sticking to your original plan would be best so that you dont have to disrupt your arrangements just to accommodate mrcagey at the drop of a hat. Could he still do later if not lunchtime?

whatami yes we really have clicked. I only have child/work free time every other weekend and so phone conversations have to be part of my dating approach otherwise I'd just have a load of pen pals

Hope everyone has had a lovely bank holiday weekend whether it involved irons or not. I dont want to go back to work tomorrow!

sick good advice. mrkent has put in far more effort. Was heading to bed and got a message from him with plans for lunchtime. Messaged mrcagey to say I couldn't do lunchtime but could still do this evening and offered a couple of other dates and not heard back even though he's read the message. So definitely the right decision. So need to prepare for lunch and deal with my spots! So typical, feel very unsexy. Will have to style it out.

waving when is he due back? Could you wait and see what happens then? When I went away I didn't contact any irons as I really wanted a break with the kids ( although I did actually point this out to an iron and said I would be back in contact on my return)

Sorry to hear that waving. It takes up a lot of head space doesn't it. I'm guilty too of meeting up with every one that asks me. I'm already sabotaging my date today because instead of focusing on being positive and happy and thinking about him, for some reason I am moping around in my kitchen thinking about my ex-FWB who wound me up and clearly got under my skin more than he should have. Ridiculous!

Meeting up with MrKent. Lovely chatty messages but he is shorter than me and lives in Kent. Thinking rather ahead but not sure how we would have moose burgers if things progress as he lives so far away and I have my kids all the time. And I'm still thinking about ex-FWB. I'm self sabotaging- talking myself out of something that could be good and fun! So daft.

Have rescheduled mrcagey for next week. Still unsure, he texts very frequently but pretty much always alluding to how horny he is! Despite all the messages I know very little about him

Let me give my perspective on WhatsApp and how I use it as a male.
I have lots of contacts on there including family members, friends and when I was OLD I had my irons on there too.
If I was with my family I would not respond to my Irons because they need time and consideration but I would reply to my friends as they usually just need one word or sentence answers and takes no time at all. I might also check WhatsApp to show pictures of DC that the ex has sent.
On a similar note if I was with friends I might respond to family because responses are quick (i.e. "can you pick DC up from school on Wednesday as I have a hair appointment" answer "Yes") and other friends because it may be relevant, but I would not engage with Irons as this takes time and consideration.
When I used WhatsApp to chat to Irons I was giving them my undivided attention, and if there was a pause in reply it was because I was putting a lot of thought into it (i.e. "Shall we meet up on Thursday night" may result in lots of research into great things I could suggest doing on Thursday).

Bottom line is don't judge how others use their messaging apps, it's worth giving people the benefit of the doubt. Just because they have had the time to use WhatsApp does not mean they have had time enough, or privacy enough to message you.

Interesting perspective on Whatsapp, it can be a bit of a headfuck looking at it as you can see if they're online!

I was out last night and met a cute much younger guy who's a Michael Buble/ Robbie Williams tribute singer! He was v nice and got his number. Got a nice funny message from MrPosh this morning which made me smile! Still no suggestions of when to meet up next tho...😥

Think I just have to stay cool and not obsess about it. And I've got tons to do as I start my new job next week. Getting a new carpet for my bedroom and a new bed on Weds so things are starting to come together at last.

Also have been quite inspired by MrPosh's novel. It's not brilliant but at least he's given it a good go. I've been thinking about writing something for ages and have decided I want to write a feminist rom com. Have already had some great ideas for it! I'm so self critical I have to have everything worked out perfectly before I start something but I've decided to just let ideas formulate organically and see where they take me. I've already written the first scene in my head and decided on some characters!😀

I turned off read reciepts and last online time on what's app because I don't want people thinking I'm ignoring them if I don't reply straight away and I don't want to get obsessed if someone doesn't reply! best way for everyone really.