AIBU to suggest that *AnyFucker* and *StillDrSethHazlittMD* get a room?

[ItShouldHaveBeenJess]

Because there's something going on there....

Also think Still should shorten his user-name. Tis too long....

God I really need a seriously good argument

helena I'm intrigued but also scared
No you don't seth

Seth arguments were this morning

Not the same sort, Portia

Seth I won

Cuddly toy?

Well there was one bloke who used to get himself off by giving himself an enema while on the phone to me.
And then another who got turned on by shoving a lighted candle up his arse.

Then there was the one who used to stick pins in his "japps eye"

Food mixer.

I'm going to wait outside again for a while. My legs seem to have stopped working following Helena's post

Ouch! I'm wincing and I don't even have a dick.
You get some strange people about. I've been reading the penetration man thread and some of them are hilariously horrifying

Sorry Seth.

I remember doing two calls for women. One was for a gay woman on her own.

Another one was for a couple where the woman had a fantasy about a threesome with another woman but was too scared to actually do it so her and her boyfriend booked a call instead.

Come back in Seth no need to be frightened

There is a nice tasty dessert I have ready in the fridge for you. Just need to whip the cream

Don't worry, Glitter, I'm here now - and he always comes after me. He's a gentleman like that.....

Oh decisions, decisions.

I've just become more eligible. Aside from the whole not wanting kids thing. I've just taken advantage of the low interest rates, remortgaged, and am saving £70 a month!!! I'm rich!!!!

I was about to smirk at Glitter when I realised your rather unsubtle 'hint' there, DrSeth

Not terribly 'classy'.....

I agree that Seth is always a gentleman

Will ignore your other comments!

That's because you're a classy lady, pegleg (ooops, sorry, typo)

I miss intimacy and sex sometimes.

This thread has made me laugh though.

Helena. I don't miss it at all! As I think I have made perfectly clear throughout the thread.....

What's sex? It's been ages...

Its that thing that gets mentioned a lot in erotic fiction.

royal there are, erm, 'assistive items' you can buy (hate the phrase 'sex toys' - also that LoveHoney advert with smug couples sitting on the sofa discussing the 'fantastic service' they received (ahem), as though they've just purchased a bloody conservatory).