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Original poster

Can pictures just appear

150 replies

Laraloulou · 08/08/2016 16:17

Hi, I know this will sound stupid but myself and DP run a buisness together earlier his mobile rang so I rushed to answer it. I missed the call but I know this is wrong I checked his phone he's always so secretive with it. I didn't find much but there was 3 pictures of his naked torso with 'goddess' wrote on it. I confronted him straight away he said "I think they're from ages ago, before we met, they must have just appeared" the date on the photos is from Friday. Can photos just appear in the wrong order? I realise how daft I sound.....

OP posts:
BlueFolly · 08/08/2016 23:01

Hang on, a bot ago... He's now admitted he did chat to a dominatrix before me who he sent the pics to but he's adamant it was over 2 years ago and now he's saying he hasn't sent them to anyone? He can't make his mind up!

Isetan · 08/08/2016 23:24

Download a meta data app that allows you to check the meta data (date taken, possibly the location, type of device the photo was taken on etc). If he hasn't already deleted the photo then it could provide a host of info.

SandyY2K · 08/08/2016 23:37

Goodnight OP.

I hope you get the truth.

sykadelic · 09/08/2016 00:35

That's just the mates he's picked. Everyone has some type of fantasy, for sure, but I certainly don't have a "fetish" and like you said, I doubt many guys talk about what weird kinky shit they're into.

I hope sleep makes you feel a little clearer OP.

Original poster
Laraloulou · 09/08/2016 11:36

So we've spoke face to face this morning. He still says he didn't send the pics that he was just copying what he was watching. I've looked through his phone and iPad found nothing. Even if he didn't send them I still feel quite weird about it all wondering what else he does. He has said if we stay together I can take his phone and iPad to bed with me every night (I usually go first) but surely that's no way to live. I don't want to be one of those insecure obsessive people but I think that's how I will be now

OP posts:
WellErrr · 09/08/2016 11:46

But didn't he tell you that he HAD sent them, just before you met?

Does he think you're so stupid that he can keep changing his story and you'll just believe it?

He's definitely lying. 100%. He may be sorry and never do it again - maybe not. But can you live like that? I couldn't.

Original poster
Laraloulou · 09/08/2016 12:04

He says he didn't say he sent them just that he took them 2 year ago. I can't really remember now what words he used. I'm sure he implied he'd sent them though. So he admits he lied about when they were taken but nothing else.
He keeps calling me cruel cause I called him a weirdo it was just spur of the moment and I do find it a little weird

OP posts:
ThatsWotSheSaid · 09/08/2016 22:01

I think he's probably lying OP. That's what people do in these situations because ultimately they dont want to deal with the consequences. You probably will never really know. You have to decide if this you can live with that. Maybe this will be the wake up call he needs and he'll learn his lesson or maybe he'll just do it all again once this blows over.

sykadelic · 09/08/2016 22:16

He's attempting to deflect and make it about you being mean to him... don't let him do that.

Sure, calling him a weirdo probably wasn't very kind, but you were responding as someone who thought their SO was CHEATING on them and you're perfectly entitled to react that way. You weren't violent and honestly, you weren't all that mean either. I'd have had much stronger ("you're a lying sack of shit, just how stupid do you think I am?!" for example :P)

He's already shown he's a liar and that he thinks you're an idiot ("no idea how photos from 2 years ago showed up"). Again, he's just telling you the things he knows you can prove and now he's trying to deflect the blame so you end up apologising to him for being mean and stop bringing it up so he doesn't call you cruel.

In short: he's being a manipulative dick

Original poster
Laraloulou · 09/08/2016 22:24

I know, still sounds dodgy, still not made my mind up to believe him. He says if I stay with him he will leave his phone, I pad with me anyway that I can look whenever at whatever I want

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 09/08/2016 22:27

Why should you police his online activity like some pre teenager that can't be trusted with technology

You are meant to be his partner, not his fucking mummy

Original poster
Laraloulou · 09/08/2016 22:31

I agree, I've said that's not the life I want guarding his things, but he just keeps saying it.

OP posts:
inlectorecumbit · 09/08/2016 22:31

He will probably just get a second phone.

Your DP is beyond dodgy. His story has changed and he has dripped fed you so much crap it's laughable if he thinks you believe him. Oh and he seems to have some lovely friends....
Please don't fall for his bullshit

AnyFucker · 09/08/2016 22:37

Tell him to stop moving his mouth, he is talking shit

he also thinks you are no better than some mummy figure whose responsibility is to stop him sleazing about the internet

why are you even having a dialogue about this ? You know he is dodgy as fuck

Original poster
Laraloulou · 09/08/2016 22:41

I'm having dialogue because I share a house and buisness with him

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 09/08/2016 22:52

those two things can be sorted

the fact he lies when he opens his mouth cannot

Original poster
Laraloulou · 09/08/2016 22:57

I wish I could be as strong as you

OP posts:
ConkerTriumphant · 09/08/2016 22:59

You could be strong, if you wanted to.

AnyFucker · 09/08/2016 23:02

I have zero tolerance for sleaze. Porn is a deal breaker for me. I could have no respect for a person like this. He has no respect for you because you both know he is lying.

No respect, no relationship. Once you decide that he is not good enough for you, the rest is just practicalities.

Original poster
Laraloulou · 09/08/2016 23:06

Porn isn't a deal breaker for me I watch it sometimes. It's the photos, if he sent them to someone it would be over if it was just part of the porn watching I think I could forgive.

OP posts:
inlectorecumbit · 09/08/2016 23:09

Do you honestly believe for one single second that he is going to admit sending them?

No- me neither

AnyFucker · 09/08/2016 23:10

That's what he is telling you. But your gut tells you it isn't true.

One of the myriad problems with porn is that some people need to escalate the "hit". He looks like one of them.

Original poster
Laraloulou · 09/08/2016 23:13

I watch porn for about 2 minutes 4 times a year or something daft. I know this is more then porn watching it's weird and freaks me out. I just wish I could have u lot in my ear when he's talking to me

OP posts:
ExtraHotLatteToGo · 09/08/2016 23:15

You can be.

Jesus wept, two and a half years is NOTHING compared to the next 40. 40 years guarding his phone etc to make sure his fetish isn't acted on? You'd be nuts to sign up for that.

If you leave now your life may well be in a bit of a state for a while, but if you stay it will be a miserable existence forever.

Come on.

SandyY2K · 09/08/2016 23:15

Are the pictures still on his phone?

A piece of advice .... if you're going to confront again over anything, don't do it from a distance when the evidence can be deleted, because you'll just never know.

I understand your mind is in disarray, but you said you really love him and I think if you can work this out, you'll be fine.

I think with you expressing your feelings ... I. E. Him being a weirdo... it will make him hide his fettish even more.

People do have fettishes that others find weird .. like adult breast feeding, feet worshipping, the adult baby fettish, cuckolding etc.. Indeed they probably appear very weird to many people, but it's what he's into.

I think the watching porn isn't enough for him. He wants more real life experiences.

If you want the truth, you'll need to make him feel comfortable enough to talk to you about it. That's not saying you need to in any way accept a third party/Domme in your marriage.

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