Boyfriend broke up with me, two weeks no contact! Want him back but don't know what to do!

[shenry25]

I'm sorry if this is too long, I'll try and keep it short. Me and my boyfriend were going out for 7 months. We got on so so well! We had been friends before we started seeing each other and we had a real connection. Things started to get a bit rocky over the last month or so and to be honest we were only meeting up once or twice a month for sex. We were still in contact and would talk on the phone but we really weren't seeing much of each other. He is scared of relationships but he always said how happy I made him and that he would commit someday but wanted to take it slow. I held on for a while hoping that maybe things would change and it was pretty upsetting. My family hating seeing my cry and so miserable so they messaged him on Facebook telling me to leave me alone. He told me it would be best if he walked away and it was good between us while it lasted. He then blocked me 😞
My cousin was quite rude to him to be honest and my mum told him to block me. He text me on whatsapp saying he treated me really badly and I'll realise that Then it'll be time to talk if I still want to. My mum and him were still messaging on Facebook at this point and he said he was so sorry, he wishes he could make it up to me and if there was anything he could do she was to let him know. My mum told him if he could make me happy then she wouldn't stand in his way. He told her how much he cared about me and that he would have a serious think about it. He said he can't deny how well we get on and it would make my mum smile if she saw it, which is true. He Kept saying how much he cared about me and he wants to make it right.
I told him before we started no contact that I still wanted to friends and he said he would like that too. Also, he would maybe speak to me in a few weeks time. He doesn't want to particularly stop speaking to me for a while but he says it's the right thing to do. He told my mum "as far as she's concerned, we're not speaking at the minute" which I took to mean he hasn't fallen out with me completely.

Do do you think we have a chance at all? I really really want to give us another go!!

OP the bottom line is, you deserve someone who wants to be with you, and knows it! Not someone who has to have a 'serious think' about it.

You are worth more than this.

Don't ring him, cut all contact, and give yourself the chance to find a decent man who respects you.

For as long as you are chasing your ex you may miss out on meeting someone decent.

I am the OP, I had to register again as there were some problems with my last account and it wouldn't let me log in.

I do value all your opinions (I wouldn't have come on here otherwise.) Calling me immature is harsh. This man was quite hard to deal with at times because I never knew what he wanted from one minute to the next. The fact that he is a borderline alcoholic doesn't help either. As for he wouldn't admit to my mum what he was playing at - he did and he said he was so sorry and had no excuse for it. He also told her that he needs a clear head from the drinking because he knows it's ruining him. The truth is I do care about him, I can't just switch that off. It's not that easy. I know deep down he did not treat me right. I'm not stupid or naive enough to think otherwise. Also, we hadn't actually broke up UNTIL my family got involved. I had told them I wanted to talk to him and give him an ultimatum to wise up or I'm gone but they decided to get in there first. I know you all won't believe me but the one thing he doesn't do is lie. Even when I used to ask him the simplest of questions, he would make sure and give me the truth.
Honestly? I don't know if I'll call him or not. My logical side of my brain is saying there's not really any point and at the same time, if he changed.
As for him shagging around, he is absolutely awful with women which I have seen for myself. He's a big introvert and would rather just sit at home all day. Being around people really seems to bother him for some reason. I think it's the drink. (He lives with his granny and aunt)

"He has the right to end the relationship.
You must respect that.
He does not owe you a relationship with him.
He does not need your permission, approval or agreement to not be in a relationship with you.
You have no right to try to make him change his mind.
You have to accept this."

This with bells on.
As much as you want it to happen, it won't. It. Is. Over.

I am aghast that your family made contact with him over this. He has every right to end the relationship if it's not for him...why he has found himself explaining himself to your bloody family I have no idea!

He only ended it AFTER they got in contact with him. He said he didn't realise that he was hurting me so badly. I know what his rights are but that doesn't stop it from hurting quite so bad.

No...it hurts like a bastard OP, but being hurt doesn't mean he owes you a second chance at a relationship he doesn't want to be in.

It was 7 months...you'll get over him eventually and you'll be ok. Really you will.

It will stop hurting, but it's going to take time. It's a grieving process, honestly you will look back on this in a few months and be glad you was rid of someone who didn't deserve you anyway

I know he doesn't owe me anything pictish. I just never expected him to walk away without a fight.

Why would he fight for something he doesn't want?

OP why would you even want to get back with a man that treat you so badly?

Please know you are worth more

I know I am and like I've said the logical side of me knows this well. It's just hard because his messages are so contradictory and confusing. I know it's stupid holding onto hope, it's just hard not to.

You said in one post OP "I'm worried if I see him as a friend it will turn into something with benefits"

You saw him for seven months, two months of which you say him once or twice a month

It already was a friendship with benefits

He moved away sharpish after they got in contact as he thought you would realise he was playing you, if you go back to him he will continue to fuck you over until he finds something better. Forget him, have a stern word with your parents about contacting him (as unless abuse is involved this is never acceptable) and then MOVE ON.

Find someone better he is not "the one" for you by a long shot. I get it hurts but you will bounce back from this if you accept it is over

Samantha There's a thread on here called 30 days of no contact for the broken hearted, maybe you could find some support there? Because I think you know deep down he was just using you and that's the 'answer.'

I have told my family not to contact him again and as far as I'm aware, my mum hasn't spoken to him in two weeks when I last did. I know we were friends with benefits. That's what we agreed we would be. I did want more and was intending on telling him that but my family decided to get involved just incase I didn't do it myself. They don't agree with FWB. From now on, they will never know a thing about my relationships.

I remember actually saying to him at one point that he only wanted me for sex and he looked really hurt and said he couldn't believe I would think that. Looking back, of course he would say that I suppose. I have had no contact for two weeks so far and I've been dying to text him but so far good.

You need to reach the angry stage then youl start to recover , get angry that he treat you so bad.

I left my partner a week ago OP, I'm at the angry stage now and it's helping massively

Hi all,
We had suspended this thread last night while we took a look, so apols to the OP. We've concluded this is a-okay (and also think the relationship's a dud and SHE COULD DO BETTER ).

He probably is a bit immature if he lives with his granny and mum.

Sweetheart, take it from experience learnt the hard way; never ever agree to friends with benefits with someone you secretly want it to "turn into something" with. Because it never happens. If he wanted it o be anything more, he would do something about it. You just end up getting strung along and hurt.

I don't think that you should do a FWB arrangement with anyone because I don't think that's what you want, is it? You want a proper boyfriend/relationship. Agreeing to FWB in the hope it will lead to something more is masochistic - just asking to be hurt. Hold out for the real deal and don't give yourself away so cheaply.

To be fair, I think you'd have to go some to do worse than this bloke. Nothing you've posted makes him sound like a catch at all.
Focus your attention on someone who deserves it, not an occasionally smooth talking loser.

I am sort of at the angry stage to be honest. I have good days and bad.

Anger is good. You're healing.

Doesn't feel like it in the morning unfortunately 😢