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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Boyfriend broke up with me, two weeks no contact! Want him back but don't know what to do!

150 replies

shenry25 · 07/08/2016 20:26

I'm sorry if this is too long, I'll try and keep it short. Me and my boyfriend were going out for 7 months. We got on so so well! We had been friends before we started seeing each other and we had a real connection. Things started to get a bit rocky over the last month or so and to be honest we were only meeting up once or twice a month for sex. We were still in contact and would talk on the phone but we really weren't seeing much of each other. He is scared of relationships but he always said how happy I made him and that he would commit someday but wanted to take it slow. I held on for a while hoping that maybe things would change and it was pretty upsetting. My family hating seeing my cry and so miserable so they messaged him on Facebook telling me to leave me alone. He told me it would be best if he walked away and it was good between us while it lasted. He then blocked me 😞
My cousin was quite rude to him to be honest and my mum told him to block me. He text me on whatsapp saying he treated me really badly and I'll realise that Then it'll be time to talk if I still want to. My mum and him were still messaging on Facebook at this point and he said he was so sorry, he wishes he could make it up to me and if there was anything he could do she was to let him know. My mum told him if he could make me happy then she wouldn't stand in his way. He told her how much he cared about me and that he would have a serious think about it. He said he can't deny how well we get on and it would make my mum smile if she saw it, which is true. He Kept saying how much he cared about me and he wants to make it right.
I told him before we started no contact that I still wanted to friends and he said he would like that too. Also, he would maybe speak to me in a few weeks time. He doesn't want to particularly stop speaking to me for a while but he says it's the right thing to do. He told my mum "as far as she's concerned, we're not speaking at the minute" which I took to mean he hasn't fallen out with me completely.

Do do you think we have a chance at all? I really really want to give us another go!!

OP posts:
shenry25 · 07/08/2016 20:57

I DID NOT involve my family! They took it upon themselves to! I was just venting my troubles to them!

OP posts:
TheCrumpettyTree · 07/08/2016 21:00

Why would you want to be with someone who was just meeting up with you for sex? That is not a relationship.

Just5minswithDacre · 07/08/2016 21:02

They involved themselves then.

Which they couldn't have if you were keeping it all a bit more to yourself. Might be an idea next time. Do you live with your mum?

shenry25 · 07/08/2016 21:05

I have definitely learned my lesson! I will onto confide in friends from now on! I did really enjoy his company. Not just the sex. He said he's never been this comfortable with any girl before.

OP posts:
shenry25 · 07/08/2016 21:05

I don't live with my mum, I live on my own.

OP posts:
mumofthemonsters808 · 07/08/2016 21:06

He's just not into you, let him go.

Pearlman · 07/08/2016 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pestov · 07/08/2016 21:07

If you have troubles that require venting to family, does that not ring alarm bells? They are doing you a massive favour. You come across very immature sounding and seriously need to cut your losses and get over yourself. Sorry!

ijustwannadance · 07/08/2016 21:10

He said he's never been this comfortable with any girl before

Oh dear op. That line would set off most people's bullshitometer.
He is 31 and full of shit. He tried to move on and you were being clingy.

Just5minswithDacre · 07/08/2016 21:10

I have definitely learned my lesson! I will onto confide in friends from now on!

Good plan Smile (And not too difficult if you live alone.)

whirlygirly · 07/08/2016 21:10

God no. Life is way too short, cringe at your family getting involved Confused he's a 31 yr old that can't cope with a relationship. What chance do you have? Run for the hills.

gamerchick · 07/08/2016 21:11

Comeon lass this ones dead in the water. I agree you need to go cold turkey, you do the blocking now, lick your wounds and move on.

Remember if you moan about someone to your family they will form an opinion that's pretty hard to shift. This one is no good for you.

ThatsMyStapler · 07/08/2016 21:13

I think PPs are being a bit harsh, however, i dont think this a 'relationship' thats in your favour

he doesnt respect you, if he wanted to be with you - he would be

(when someone tells you who they are, listen)

Forget him, and find someone to treasure you for you - you've not been together long, you've lost no time

shenry25 · 07/08/2016 21:14

He told me he has only been in two serious relationships in his life but he told me he loved me and I loved him. Things were so great at the start and then it just went shit shaped for want of a better word.

OP posts:
shenry25 · 07/08/2016 21:19

Thanks ThatsMyStapler. I was going to try and give him one last ring to see what he's been thinking. More for me than anything. I feel I haven't had a chance to say what I felt and I really was to.

OP posts:
Pearlman · 07/08/2016 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flisspaps · 07/08/2016 21:21

DO NOT CALL HIM

Shakey15000 · 07/08/2016 21:24

Blimey, NO, don't call him ffs. Have some dignity. You will look even more desperate.

shenry25 · 07/08/2016 21:26

We did say we would speak in a few weeks tho! And it's been two weeks

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 07/08/2016 21:26

It's over. Grieve the relationship and move on. You sound desperate and it's terribly unhealthy.

Don't lower yourself to begging and calling him.

Go total no contact .

www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/

Costacoffeeplease · 07/08/2016 21:26

DO NOT CALL HIM. People who want to be in a relationship will make it obvious, he doesn't want to be your boyfriend, forget him

maisiejones · 07/08/2016 21:27

What good do you think "telling him how you felt" will do? He isn't interested, he couldn't care less. Leave him alone and get on with your life. You're starting to sound like a stalker.

Pearlman · 07/08/2016 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThatsMyStapler · 07/08/2016 21:34

definitely DONT CALL HIM!!

you're better than this - you will bounce back better and bolder and stronger than before - enjoy the time you had with him, when it was good, but dont forget the bad (the 'were you important to him' the 'did he think of you when you were apart' etc)

He's not good enough for you x come on!!!

Shakey15000 · 07/08/2016 21:35

You will look a complete mug if you call him. Do you want to look a mug? Confused. If anything, let him contact you. Not that he will.

Short of skywriting it, he has made it clear he's not interested. Why waste your time?

Get rid of this romantic fantasy that you're soul mates and his poor tortured soul is wrestling with his emotions until he realised you're "The One" and you run through a bloody cornfield towards each other to a Barbra Streisand track. Ain't going to happen love.

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