March 26th my husband of 18 years totally out of the blue told me he was unhappy didn't love me anymore and just upped and left us. I have been very confused and trying desperately to make some sense of this as it was something i never would of expected from him.
He was very stressed with work(financial) and for whatever reason has blamed me for this saying he lost respect for me and as a result his feelings have changed. I had no running or financial control of his business at all so its down to his bad management alone its not something i have had a hand in.
This also coincided with him going up North more frequently for the weekend to go out drinking with his friend and his friends sister? and since he has left he goes up there every other weekend saturday to Monday, we live near London so a long way to go for just a pint with mates isn't it ?. He has stayed away from us totally and only ever contacts me through email and then it is only very basic issues to do with house. We have a 15 yr old son together he sees him once a week for about 2 hours for dinner and they make there own arragements. He always asks my son how i am and whats been happening which I'm not happy about as i want my son to enjoy his 2hrs with him and not be reminded of the devastation thats been left a home for us all to cope with.
He lives in a rented room about 5 mins from the house and has been popping to the house to still use the garage and store his motorbike, he took the garage keys so i haven't got access to garage only through the back door and all of his tools are still there. His post still comes to the house. Its 5 months almost and he hasn't really moved on to much as far as still using the house for post and storage and it really annoys me as i feel he should of sorted this by now if he really doesn't want us anymore.
Im really struggling with whats happened and have been in a very low place because of the hurt and rejection i have only just started to dust myself off from this and try and move forward i.e. selling the family home and have cut all communication as a way of dealing with the pain. Im on antidepressants and about to start counselling which is my way of gaining control. I really want to start a new life for me and my Son renting our own house as there won't be enough money to buy a place as house prices and my part-time NHS wage(even full-time) would not stretch to this, i need to stand on my own 2 feet and never have to see him or speak with him again if i have to, it sounds drastic but I'm on my knees with hurt and just can't make sense of why this has happened to us.
So my question really is as i have been obsessively scouring the internet trying to find answers to the reason why as my title says one day i think its definitely Midlife Crisis as he fits the selfish cold way he has done this and i really feel there is someone else OW in the background, then maybe its grass is greener syndrome and he is feeling that he wants more as he told me that he has feelings for me but its not enough as he needs more ? it took 18 years to decide this so who knows. Or he just totally doesn't love me anymore and I've got to accept this and see it for what it is, find that hard as i have never ever doubted his love for me before this and find it hard to get into my head after 18yrs and the fact that we were still having regular sex and he was still saying he loved me until the day he left ???
Sorry for the long post but I'm really interested for any advice or ideas on what the cause of this could be as sometimes other opinions help to un- jumble the thoughts if that makes sense.
I totally don't want the selfish prick back as his treatment of the family has been disgusting but would be interested what the general opinion to his behaviour is.
Thankyou in advance for reading this far and look forward to seeing your comments.
Kind Regards Michelle x