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Original poster

I've made a fake profile...

111 replies

FakeBake · 02/08/2016 16:08

Found out my DH has been on OLD websites, a family member found his profile had been active and told me.

I've set up a profile claiming to be a woman from our area, I've found his profile but I'm not sure what to do next.

I need proof that he's talking to women, I've got the app on my phone so I can keep an eye on it if he views me but I'm hesitant about sending him a message, perhaps because I'm scared of the outcome?

Has anyone done this before?

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 02/08/2016 17:20

Think you've done the right thing, if you're suspicious in anyway. Some of the other suggestions on here, seem like overkill & sound like he's been hung, drawn & quartered already. Just asked a colleague who I'm sat with an OLD. They say if you get a message, you get notified, even if you've not used the account for ages.
I wouldn't be looking through his phone & snooping though. If this was flipped it would be called controlling. Hope it works out for the best OP & it's all innocent.

Kr1stina · 02/08/2016 17:23

if you've never had any doubts about his fidelity in the past, why did you decide to make a fake profile instead of just asking him about it?

Yeah, because it's a well known fact that all cheaters immediately confess everything as soon as you confront them Hmm

PurpleDaisies · 02/08/2016 17:25

kr1stina what I meant was they met on a dating site so he had a reason to be on there. The site is known to be glitchy regarding last active dates. If I trusted my partner I'd ask them what was going on and gauge from their reaction whether they were telling the truth or not. I wouldn't immediately think to set up a fake profile and try and catch him out.

NameChange30 · 02/08/2016 17:26

"overkill"
"snooping"
"controlling"
Hmm

Absolute bollocks.
If there is reasonable cause for suspicion (which there is) there is absolutely nothing wrong with looking for evidence.
If he's done nothing wrong she won't find anything.

SandyY2K · 02/08/2016 17:27

Why don't you send the message now instead of doing it when he is there? It will be very stressful for you to do it.

I agree with this.^

fastdaytears · 02/08/2016 17:29

Yes I think don't wait. Will just make the tension worse for you and might seem odd to him.

Also he might be using time out of the house to reply to messages. Does he have a train journey or similar,

Original poster
FakeBake · 02/08/2016 17:30

I set up the profile because I feel that if he was doing anything he could hide it well within his answer and I wouldn't feel satisfied and I want to be 100% sure so I can either let it go or deal with whatever happens.

At the moment I'm thinking is it just a glitch? Or has he been on it? If I confronted him and he said it must be a glitch on the website I'm not sure that I would feel completely at ease by that response and I don't want it to eat me up.

OP posts:
adora1 · 02/08/2016 17:31

Why are you waiting, send it now whilst he's not there no?

And as we have seen on here numerous times, if she asks him now he will deny any knowledge and she will NEVER know.

PurpleDaisies · 02/08/2016 17:33

If I confronted him and he said it must be a glitch on the website I'm not sure that I would feel completely at ease by that response and I don't want it to eat me up.

Doesn't that say something about the level of trust in your relationship?

If he doesn't reply to your profile message won't you just worry that your profile wasn't attractive enough and you need to set up something even more appealing to him?

PurpleDaisies · 02/08/2016 17:33

And as we have seen on here numerous times, if she asks him now he will deny any knowledge and she will NEVER know.

Or he will be totally innocent. Confused

Original poster
FakeBake · 02/08/2016 17:37

Okay I've sent; Hey, I like the look of your profile. Fancy a chat? Now it's just a waiting game...

I've been hurt in the past, cheated on various times because I was too trusting of what they were telling me and I was caught up in them rather than thinking with my head, this is what is making me think that a simple 'it's just a glitch' wouldn't be enough for me

OP posts:
adora1 · 02/08/2016 17:38

Purple, if he is innocent then he won't reply will he?

Sorry but I am not as considerate, I've seen this time and time again, and they have ALL been on it.

Amythest001 · 02/08/2016 17:39

Fingers crossed there's an innocent explanation X

Desmondo2016 · 02/08/2016 17:53

I'm a bit concerned that falling for a honeytrap and replying is a long way from reactivating his profile and actually using the site.

Diamogs · 02/08/2016 18:09

I really hope that it's a glitch and you don't get a reply OP.

StillCounting123 · 02/08/2016 18:11

I think your message was good, OP. Short and to the point.

Hope you get the response you are looking for.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 02/08/2016 18:25

It's true that some websites do make themselves look busier by showing inactive people as active, although I've never heard of this happening with a profile that hasn't been used for two years. It's usually a month or two at most, and it serves the dual purpose of possibly enticing someone who was recently an active user back to the site.

does your profile show as active, OP?

Your message was good. I hope you get answers.

LottieL · 02/08/2016 18:26

Hopefully there will be no interest from him!

BastardGoDarkly · 02/08/2016 18:45

Fingers crossed op.

user1469549964 · 02/08/2016 19:06

I hope it goes ok and for what its worth, I think you are doing the right thing Flowers

Gladysmum · 02/08/2016 19:10

Hope it all works out for you

Horehound · 02/08/2016 19:14

If it's POF it is a bit glitchy but only maybe saying active still when they were really active an hour ago. It certainly doesnt bring up an inactive profile for the hell of it. Hes been on it. BUT it could just be that someone did come across his profile and message him. He would have been sent an email to let him know and maybe he logged on to read it or to try and unsubscribe.

I hope thats the explanation but could be clutching at straws.

HappyGoLuckyGirl · 02/08/2016 19:22

I know too well the feeling in the pit of your stomach right now. Flowers

I hope you never hear back from him.

Graceflorrick · 02/08/2016 19:23

I hope he doesn't access it Fake Flowers

BastardGoDarkly · 02/08/2016 21:36

Hope you're alright fake