I've made a fake profile...

[FakeBake]

Found out my DH has been on OLD websites, a family member found his profile had been active and told me.

I've set up a profile claiming to be a woman from our area, I've found his profile but I'm not sure what to do next.

I need proof that he's talking to women, I've got the app on my phone so I can keep an eye on it if he views me but I'm hesitant about sending him a message, perhaps because I'm scared of the outcome?

Has anyone done this before?

[loobyloo1234]

Hope you're ok OP - and hope he's not replied

[yummymummycleo]

Thank you!

[pegomassive1]

I've just read the full thread
I'm hopeful no news is good news and op has not heard anything more from do old profile

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

Same here

[PurpleDaisies]

Are you using the mobile site or the app yummy? If you're on the mobile site at the top where it says "Talk>relationships" there's a downwards arrow. Click it to bring up the menu where watch this thread" is an option.

[AndYourBirdCanSing]

Are you ok OP?

[yummymummycleo]

F means I am following the thread. I can't find out how to watch a thread now the formats changed. Any help? I am on a mobile.

[flumpybear]

Hope it's just a glitch in the system

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

I think this is a risky game. I hope he hasn't replied.

It is risky. And I guess it doesn't matter if he replies - if he does, OP has her answer. If he doesn't, it could either be that he didn't fancy the profile picture, or he's already talking to someone else and isn't interested at the moment, or that he isn't interested in anyone at the moment. There's no easy way to know which is correct.

Even if OP made multiple accounts to try and elicit a response, she'd never know why he wasn't responding...

Good luck though, OP. I hope you get an answer somehow.

[AnnieOnAMapleLeaf]

I agree completely with you EverySongbirdSays. Why waste the time, expense and effort on catfishing or hiring a PI etc if you do not trust your partner. That level of mistrust can not be undone.

[EverySongbirdSays]

Sandy

My point is that if this is necessary, if things have deteriorated to the point of a private detective or a Catfishing, or a polygraph; the marriage is dead in the water because the trust is lost and will never fully come back.

She proves to herself he isn't cheating? What then? Will she have peace of mind, or be constantly second guessing til next time.

I'm sorry you're going through this OP but I think you need to decide whether you want to be married to a man you can't trust

[LobsterQuadrille]

Hi OP, hope that you have (or don't have) an answer. I did this with an ex on match.com once - trouble is that I could "wink" (I think) at him, which I did - and was then utterly horrified when he sent me a reply - because he had to be a subscriber and therefore be paying monthly dues to be able to do that (and I couldn't read the reply because I wasn't going to pay a subscription for this fake profile). He wriggled out of it - he was a master at that - and actually managed to blame me for the fact that he still had a subscription, because match.com carried on taking his direct debit as he hadn't cancelled it. Then some time later, I accidentally saw his history on his PC and he was on a different site - this time, he said that he was "short of friends" and "only looking for friendship".

Sigh. I recently received a message from the long term partner of a friend of mine on POF (I have a thread on AIBU about this) and basically wish that I had taken screenshots as I have zero proof - by blocking me and then deleting his profile, all evidence of his account has been completely erased.

Hope that you are OK.

[PurpleDaisies]

F yummy?

[yummymummycleo]

F

[zippey]

Any update?

[Sleeplessinmybedroom]

Hope you're ok Op and that he doesn't reply.

[GlitteryFluff]

I'd do the same as the op.
I'd feel like I needed proof with my own eyes, so a conversation, rather than just a time stamp that he's been on it.

[EeksyPeeksy]

Hope you're OK OP

[JustGettingStarted]

I think I would do the same as the op.

[DailyMailResearcher]

Op hope you're ok.and that no news is good news.

[SandyY2K]

a marriage where the wife feels it necessary to Catfish her husband in order to ascertain whether he is involved in online chatting/dating/casual sex, rather than actually having a straightforward conversation before all this plotting is already halfway to a divorce as duplicity is in play on both sides.

You need to get real here. How many cheating spouses are going to fess up to this if asked. Of course you have to go into investigation mode.

You might as well say the same for those who hire P.Is, use polygraphs or covert recording devices. You do what you need to get your facts straight.

Obviously it's not a great situation, but needs must.

Some people will deny till their last breathe.

[newshoes68]

Everythingsongbird - I agree with you .

Both playing different games, for diff reason . It could come back and bite her on the ass.
Hope not, and hope they can communicate!

[Muddlingthroughtoo]

Did he message? Hope no news is good news x

[ImNotJoeMyNameIsHarry]

If it is something like pof they send an absurd amount of emails. Easy to click on a link by accident or even trying to change it to stop sending.