My boyfriend has betrayed my trust : (

[Thoughthewasdifferent]

Boyfriend and I have an active sex life, and a few months ago we did a little "video" on his phone. Well, I say we, it was only really me in it.

He tells me he looks at it all the time, and we look at it together sometimes.

I know you're all going to say "you shouldnt have done it, what happens if you split up etc?" But honest to God, up until today I trusted him with my life. I thought we were for keeps.

Anyway..... I had to get a quote on something for him today, so he gave me his email password. I DID NOT search through his mail, but its a yahoo account which means you can look at the photos/attachments sent.

His mate sent him a photo of his girlfriend in various poses, my boyfriend replied by sending him the video.

1. Yes I'm in the wrong for looking, I know that and the sick feeling in my stomach is my punishment

2. Is he a complete bastard? My face isnt in the videos but the mate will know they are of me.

3. I am a regular, all you troll hunters can ask me any question about MN and I'll have a good go of answering it.

Sweet, only you know what is right for all of you, and how much of a blip this is on your radar.

I'm not sure getting rat-arsed will help things, might tempt you into doing something you wouldnt normally.

You do need to get together and talk about it sooner or later. Dont leave it too long.

You know where I am.

xxxxxxx

But I want to get drunk.

I'll speak to you soon x

okay sweet.

xxx

Look after yourself, it helps to let your head rule rather than your heart sometimes x

Thought

Go and get hammered, but before you do....

Remove the battery from your phone, put your sim somewhere else, now try putting that together when you are pisky.

I will not judge you for staying with him, but be prepared for the fact that post fallout that he may not staying around either. He may possibly be too embarrassed.

We are here if you need us.

Much love

LGJ

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxx

THWD if you want to forgive him fine but I have to impress on you that you should make him suffer first. Really and truly if you have a future with this guy and he thinks that you will capitulate fairly easily about something as serious as this then you will not have a balanced and equal partnership. He will always have at the back of his mind that you are a bit of a pushover. He should have bloody knees from begging your forgiveness and take him back, by all means, but on your terms.

Completely agree with Carmenere and I knew that you would forgive him...

If only we all could see into the future mumto3girls, then we wouldn't need the realtionships section

I will make him suffer Carmernere, thanks to everyone for your advice and support x

Message withdrawn

But you have seen your future......with him. Good Luck with making things work.

She has not seen her future with him, she has seen a pic/video he sent...people do make mistakes......

One thing that life has thought me is that, yes people do make mistakes but it's how they deal with the mistakes that is important.. THWD has seen an aspect of her dp that she is shocked by but it is always better to know the faults as well as the good things about a partner. Forwarned is forarmed so to speak.

THWD, just seen this. I'm sorry, what a horrible shock. I've nothing to add to others' advice, but thinking of you. Good luck x

I agree 100% carmenere.

I think the op shall make the correct decision...

Why are men such thoughtless bastards?? hmmm perhaps I should start a new thread for that one....

I would hope that in a scenario like this, the man concerned would be mortified about what he may have done in a moment's thoughtlessness and stupid male bravado, once his partner had made him aware of her hurt and feeling of being betrayed. I'd hope he'd be begging his partner's forgiveness, be prepared to do whatever it took to regain her trust (counselling maybe ?) and damn well treating her like a princess for years to come.

I really hope you sort things out but feel terribly worried for you if your DP still hasn't apologised, still "blames" you and is still treating this as something insignificant. Of course this is your life and we aren't you, we don't know him etc., but what happened, as you know yourself, and what happened after too, is so terribly wrong on many different levels. I agree that he should be made to "pay" or to "suffer" (however you define that) for what he's done, but if he accepts NO responsibility, what are the chances - truly - of him "paying" or "suffering" ? If he really doesn't see what he's done wrong, is he really going to meekly take whatever is thrown at him from now on ? ........ on the basis of what we've been told so far, he sees no wrongdoing and therefore, so far as he is concerned, the relationship goes on as normal. Well ....... with one difference maybe, because he thinks (or at least he's saying) that THWD was in the wrong .....

.... if she's desperate to stay with him no matter what, and he thinks like that, then there's every chance her "wrongdoing" could be thrown back in her face whenever they have an argument. It strikes me that instead of him grovelling, THWD could end up grovelling to him instead IYSWIM.

Sorry ....... I do know it's your relationship and I'm not trying to be mean. I hope I'm wrong, and I hope that in the last 24 hours (unbeknownst to us here on the boards) your DP has realised what he's done and is suitably contrite about it.

hope you feel a little better babe x