My boyfriend has betrayed my trust : (

[Thoughthewasdifferent]

Boyfriend and I have an active sex life, and a few months ago we did a little "video" on his phone. Well, I say we, it was only really me in it.

He tells me he looks at it all the time, and we look at it together sometimes.

I know you're all going to say "you shouldnt have done it, what happens if you split up etc?" But honest to God, up until today I trusted him with my life. I thought we were for keeps.

Anyway..... I had to get a quote on something for him today, so he gave me his email password. I DID NOT search through his mail, but its a yahoo account which means you can look at the photos/attachments sent.

His mate sent him a photo of his girlfriend in various poses, my boyfriend replied by sending him the video.

1. Yes I'm in the wrong for looking, I know that and the sick feeling in my stomach is my punishment

2. Is he a complete bastard? My face isnt in the videos but the mate will know they are of me.

3. I am a regular, all you troll hunters can ask me any question about MN and I'll have a good go of answering it.

Oh how awful for you, DUMP HIM IMMEDIATELY. Apart from anything else, you will NEVER be able to trust him again

definitely betrayed your trust & the privacy of your relationship! Dont think you were out of order for looking at yahoo either... hope you sort him out

I'm with Expat on this.

Oh, and as I'm fairly vitriolic, I would delete all his emails, then sign him up for as much spam as you can, seeing as how you have his password.

Go on a google hunt for gay porn for starters. Sign up him and his mate.

Oh, and get in touch with his mate's girlfriend, just on the off chance she's unaware she is dating a cretin.

In answer to your thoughts:

1. You aren't as far in the wrong as he.
2. Yes.
3. 4

Waht a shit . Agree with Trolly I would tell his mates girlfriend. what a knob. Tell everyone what a small weenie cock he has

His behaviour is apalling.

1 Distroy the video

2 Get in touch with his mates girlfriend tell her what he has done see if she can delete his copy of your video in return for you distroying your bf pictures of her.

3 Dump him

Isnt there a crap-ex bfs website somewhere put him on it.

Have you told him you know yet? If not take some snaps of him and make posters to put around where he lives

I'm going to text him now. I cant do it face to face, I feel sick.

I feel like someone has snatched my heart out and spat on it, my stomach is churning.

he really does sound like a shit, to be frank. best of luck

Oh I really feel for you that is the most horrendous feeling ever

Only you know if you love him enough to try and get past this or if you could ever trust him again. I hope he realises how selfish and hurtful he's been.

for you xx

and for you too

did you text him??

{{hugs}}

I would delete the picture from his account and computer, and get hold of his phone and delete it from there before you do anything else, tbh.

Sorry - this sounds horrible, and I agree with catsmother - especially as you describe him as boyfriend. i am assuming, as yuo don't say 'DP' that it is not a long long relationship and that you do not have children together?

Otherwise, trying to get him to realise what he has done and seeking counselling and support may be worth a try...but it was the action of a cpomplete bastard, I'm afraid.

Thanks for replying Blu.

This is so so so far away from the type of man I know he is though. I'm more shocked than anything else at the moment because it's just not like him.

I've texted him, no reply so far but I have turned my phone off so that may explain it.

hope you're ok and yes he has done wrong but keep your head up girl....you're worth more!!!!!!

keep us all posted!
hugs to ya hun!!!

He has replied

Keeps saying it's my fault for looking at his emails, he cant believe I would dare to look at his emails.

No apology

Obviously he is angry because he has been "caught" I know it must be difficult but you really are better of without someone like this. I would tell him to feck off tbh...

Ironic - he;s upset because you betrayed his trust. sorry but LMAO at his stupidity!

He's got to go.

Hi Mellow. I want to, but God this is hard. So different from the man I fell in love with.

I've told him to stop texting me now, am going to turn my phone off and clear my head.

Maybe I shouldn't have confronted him. I dont know.

Whether or not you looked at his e mails has nothing at all to do with whether he should be showing intimate pictures of you to other people.

Don't let him get away with that line of counter-attack!

Yes, it was a minor intrusion of privacy to look at a picture of yourself in his e mails...but a major breach of trust - quite abusive, actually, to pass your pictures on to another man.

I am afraid that the fact that he has reacted by counter-attacking doesn't bode well fr his ability to understand what he has done.

REally sorry - how very very hurtful. Anyone would be mortified.

I agree with Blu. It's all about his response. He should be mortified at the realisation of how much he has hurt you. A counter attack is not a good sign.

You know you deserve better than this? I know you may be thinking somewhere at the back of your mind, possibly that you can get over this...but do you want to?

As I said previously, you deserve so much better.

Oh bloody hell how horrible for you.

I couldn't be with him, I'm afraid. No way, no forgiveness, no excuses, just no way.

What a terrible shock for you. Not only have you been humiliated and betrayed, but you have lost the person you would usually turn to for comfort.

Of course it's not your own fault for looking. He's a tosser.

I said "some man I've never met is looking at a video of me"

He replied

"whatever, he lives in Ireland anyway"

I have vomited, just thinking of someone else looking at the video.

Keeps blaming me, wont apologise. Am seeing him in a new light now.

Very at his response. What he did is just so much worse than reading his emails. IMO it's a good thing you did , or who knows what else he would have done with the film before you found out. He's just angry because he's been caught. And now he's got to go, I think.
I'm sorry that you've been treated like this by someone you thought was a friend. It really isn't fair.

he thinks just how my dp would.

I would be devastated. Amd really sad and angry for you