Brave Babes Battle Bus - Holding our heads up like thistles

[MaryMungoAndMidgies]

I bit the bullet - Come on in, excuse the faint whiff of dog!

The last thread

42, I'm just going for one day at a time (ODAAT); I've proved to myself time and again I am incapable of moderating, or even drinking mindfully, but I can't contemplate 'never'. My next big test will be the theatre (again) on Saturday.

Hanging in there today Day 10 but I'm already planning on what to drink on Friday when DH comes home - I'm exhausted with work and DC and haven't got the energy to fight the cravings much longer. We're at a festival type thing on Sat so that will almost certainly be a write off too (although I'll try not to drink too much until MIL takes the kids home).

Thanks sweet and Muskrat, ODAAT sounds about right. Never seems loooong.
Have a good evening.

End of day four, sleep tight, Babes

Best part of a bottle tonight. Again. Shit.

Don't beat yourself up ma, it happens

Morning all.

Ma the stress at work isn't helping, but you also know the drinking does change the stress, just your ability to cope with it, feels better while you're doing it, but it's an illusion. Give day one a go, you're worth it.

I have another full on day, I need to get ahead of myself so I have time for the first marking of the semester next week, and to take half a day out to go to graduation. That's another reason to stay off the wine, photographs, and the very real chance I don't have appropriate clothes that will fit .

Happy Thursday every babe. Lala hope you're ok?

I'm just trying to put some thoughts down.

When I drink, ALL of my energy goes into drinking. The energy to disguise, 'how much', 'what time I started', smoothing over the things that didn't get done, but should have been; the tremendous effort to do the things that are inescapable. Smiling with a hangover, hiding the bloated body. Not slurring, covering fumes with mint, and a hand across the mouth.

This morning, that energy was diverted, making a healthy lunch, making an effort with face and hair. Solving a work problem I have been struggling with for months (in minutes).

I, we all need to value those good things that energy could be put to - good things for us.

Great post sweet, good morning

Excellent post Sweet, love it. Day 4 here. Had a meltdown last night cos laptop corrupted during Windows update (effing HATE Windows 10) and the helpline indicated it would have to be sent away to fix for at least 5 days. I am paid a day rate for a finite time and trying to make my mark in new job so was like 'nooooooo . Luckily no booze in house so didn't drink, then this morning took it in and it got fixed in 30 mins, and I'm not too hungover to get on with the job (though did have to cancel first gym class in months to sort it out). There's a lesson in there somewhere (in my case if I don't want to drink I absolutely can't have it in the house!). Right, healthy lunch now and back on it. Will catch up properly soon.

Who do we all want to win GBBO? I am rooting for Candice

Had a horrible, horrible shift last night. But having said I can't cope with work cravings, I realised about 5am I'd not thought about drinking at all. For the first time ever there was no craving, no internal tug of war over do I don't I drink. Got home nearly two hours late, into bed with tea and fell asleep watching TV. Completely didn't fancy the beer still in the fridge; for the first time ever it felt normal (and nice) to just go to bed. Not kidding myself that this will always be the case, but it was totally the kind of shit night that would always have me faltering despite good intentions, or feeling hard done by going to bed sober. Not back tonight so that used to mean a bottle or more in the morning, followed by a sleep then often an all night session. So that has to be progress right?? Finding it weird now looking back that for so long I was so terrified of not drinking. Day 5 today, and 12 for October, and feeling a bit more positive about it all, for today at least.

sweet great post, drinking is just exhausting really isn't it?!

hope I have never watched GBBO (must be the only one from talking to people!)

Am very determined tonight and have been a domestic goddess to keep myself busy. Popped into Asda to get a cooked chicken to save me cooking( and having wine) and they had tubs of cherry tomatoes marked down to 21p. Half a dozen tubs are now in the slow cooker along with chilli, basil, onions and pepper making pasta sauce for freezing. Chicken bones in fridge for making soup with lentils and spinach, and chicken salad( along with 6p cucumber ready for lunch tomorrow). Being very thrifty.
I have had two line and tonics, and plan an early night with hot chocolate amd some Christmas catalogues.

Lots of progress tonight.

Ma I envy your culinary skills - and a family who will all eat the same thing .

Elba, sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's bloody hard, but the balance does shift. I did a stretch of 70 plus days two years ago, proof I shouldn't have let my guard down, but i did get more and more days when I wasn't obsessed.

Hope, tech is the Bain of my life. Well done you. I think Candice too.

I was thinking about a glass of wine a lot this evening before I got home. Tired doesn't help, but I'm past it now.

No culinary skills needed sweet. Everything in the slow cooker then blitzed. Having g done that I have decided it is more of a chunky tomato soup than a sauce, but have about 12 portions to freeze.Not bad for just over £1.
Am now in bed with hot chocolate....wine witch defeated tonight!

Predictably spoke far too soon, struggling and obsessing but not going to give in (and can't be bothered to go out anyway). Hate winter evenings- not had any proper daylight since Tuesday which probably doesn't help. Want to give up and go to bed but slept too much today so won't sleep either and don't know what to do with myself. Was really tempted to take diazepam for no other reason than something to sort of alter my mind a bit, which is a bloody stupid idea for obvious reasons. Making do with af beer.

Morning.

Ma, well done on day one, how about day two so you feel the benefit for the weekend?

Elba, that is a real win, getting close to double figures.

42, how are you doing?

*Hope, rebook that gym class!"

Where's everyone else this week? Lala, Small, Mouse, Wry, Faire all the babes old and new?

Day six for me, I'm definitely feeling lighter, less lumpy (metaphorically as well as literally), and the tetchiness I was feeling at the beginning of the week is gone. I need to fight to keep the good stuff this time.

Gah lost a post.
I'm alright thank you sweet.
6yr old slept through for once so I've had a good sleep.
He usually wakes and then gets up at 6, so I'm always a bit short on sleep.
And I say to myself that might as well have wine as I'll feel crappy anyway! Drinking thinking!
So I've done Mon to Thurs.
Very mixed feelings about this evening when I've been thinking I'll have wine.
Have PD mum round at teatime, so feel like I'll "need" a glass or 3 afterwards. Argh.
Hope everyone's okay this morning.

Aaargh, where is Mouse? We need a new thread....

Babes, I give up. Horrendous week, horrendous life situation. It's all too much

Lala, haven't been posting but have been reading thinking about you. Did you test? How are things with MrL.

Elba , you go girl, you are really showing us that it can be done. I am in awe right now xxx

I've had wine, going to bed , feel OK not gone that far...but will have early morning waking. Tomorrow the recent ex coming for the afternoon. ..to see me and the DC (his step DC) eek kind of wish he wasn't coming, kind of looking forward to it, kind of anxious... bah.
Tomorrow anither day.
Sleep well.

Thanks mimsy for thinking of me. All is crap,'work is crap, mr l is crap.

Oh Hun, big hugs. We need to figure out a way to stop the crap xx

I've attempted to start a new thread...still working out how to link it up...but it's up in relationships xx