Dry 14

[glad2016]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.
Go sober warriors !

What does PAWS stand for?

Oh must be "post alcohol withdrawal syndrome" - what are the longer term symptoms - say 1-2 years after you've stopped drinking?

pimpernell I feel the same - that I've tried SO HARD and to hear that it is still hard after months or years is really discouraging. It makes me want to give up - but then I think about the alternative - I was on a MASSIVE slippery slope. My drinking has been problematic for 6 years and has caused problems with my work, friendships, relationships and parenting already. I don't want to give it another 6 or 10 or 20 years, do more damage, damage my health, and have to give up when properly physically dependent. I admire those who are doing that and I'm thankful I caught myself early.

But is this it now - for the rest of my life will I be wrestling with this?

Hello. riviera and very best wishes.

This is good on PAWS www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm

I've certainly found it very helpful to read round and understand a bit more about this. The 2 year thing is a grim prospect but I feel very strongly that though going af can be very tough, the alternative is worse. And by six months in it had really improved so I'm hoping not to have undone all the progress... Going ok at the moment.

Yy to the slippery slope. I too sometimes catch myself wondering if it's always going to be a struggle but from reading round it seems as if there always needs to be vigilance but that it stops being such a big deal. Let's hope so 😀

Anyway, another weekend. koko, sober warriors.

Sorry if hearing about PAWS happening up to 2 years AF is discouraging - but it is the truth and we need to be honest in here. Better to be forewarned that it to be unexpected?
KOKO sober warriors :)

Morning everyone, but bleary eyed as I'm sitting in the airport lounge waiting to go on holiday! Yippee! Although why flights have to be at silly stupid middle of the blinking night times I don't know

Coming up on 7 months sober. Things do get easier pimpernella but I'm wary of complacency. I suppose learning to be sober is a bit like learning to drive. In the early days it's terrifying, there's so much to remember and you need to have eyes in the back of your head and arms like an octopus to juggle the steering wheel and the gears and what about the mirrors? But as you keep going it becomes more second nature to check mirrors and you change gears without thinking about it. But you can never forget to flick on your indicators or check your rear view or you'll go falling off a cliff. Does that make sense? Need more coffee!

Good luck to riviera ( am I the only one who does a little jig when I read that?) you need to do what works for you. I have a friend who spent time in rehab and has never looked back.

Off for more coffee now. KOKO everyone!

Thanks Sybil - that link us really useful.
I think one of the blogs made me think I was aiming for 100 days and then it would be easier. Glad2016, -therefore- you are right - it is important to be honest. How far in are you?

That was a really good analogy Cooee and it helps - thanks. Have a great holiday!

Onepillow - do you have good bits/ bad bits like the PAWS stuff says? I do but it's just that the PAWS days seem to occur more often...I do feel it's harder now than it was.

What will it be like in 2 years then if that is what I am working towards?

I'm just on my way out so just a quick one. Nothing can be worse for my kids than to grow up with an alcoholic mother, or with no mum if I drink myself to death. It's a harsh reality but true. I feel like I've only just allowed myself to think this thought (not well expressed but I hope you know what I mean).
I think paws is one thing, but just general coping with life is another.
I'm thinking one day at a time right now and waking without a hangover is my daily reward. I'm on day 5 but have done longer stretches before.

I'm trying not to worry about the future all I know is it'll be better if I don't drink.

Hope everyone has an enjoyable Saturday. What is everyone doing? I've made a picnic and we are off to a local park for a few hours. Might go swimming later then have fish and chips for tea. I'll check in later.

I'm new and planning my strategy for tomorrow. Gardening and crochet mainly. I may also write my German friends a letter if I can fit it in.

Welcome Buono. Have your food planned for tomorrow, even if it's ready meals, you'll need to change your routine (staying out of the kitchen is a must for me at my usual drinking time).
Download a book and go to bed as early as you can in the evening. One day at a time.

Thank you, food is planned (minimal cooking involved). I'm clocking out for the night but will be back tomorrow - I need to start respecting myself again and I'm going to bloody well do it.

Welcome Bueno and pimpernella and way to go onewhitepillow and finnishbiscuiteater.

Had friends over yesterday - they brought a bottle of wine and DH (who has been largely but not totally AF) decided to have some. Have to confess I wobbled but didn't drink - the fact that I had been reading this thread and some of the sober blogs kept me from it. Thanks lilybetsy and vxa.

I'm at day 43 - I seem to recall reading that days 45-60 can be a haul but can't remember where - any thoughts welcome!

Thank you Lizzy I'm still here peeping for tomorrow. I reckon 40+ is hard because its no longer a temporary "dryatholon" type thing, it's a "is this going to be me" thing. Any positives about your experience so far? Xx

They are for me Lizzie.
As we drove home this evening, feeling particularly dark and dismal, I thought of wanting a bottle of wine...imagined drinking it - and instead of that being appealing, I could imagine how I would feel afterwards...just as depressed but drunk and self loathing too. I could remember that though it would be an escape of sorts, I would still feel rubbish. So here I am - feeling crap but there is something positive in there I think!

I meant prepping (grrrr)

Welcome Buono - you can do this. Planning is key and your plan sounds good. Be kind to yourself and rest tomorrow if you can. It is good to keep distracted but just take it steady.

lizzie glad the blogs helped. I think at 40-60 days the novelty started to wear off for me and reality set in. Everything felt very raw and fragile and I was also really bored. For me at 123 days it is very up and down. Good days and bad days and it can change quite quickly. There is no doubt it is hard but it is worth it. If I was still drinking I dread to think where I would be.

Pimpernella well done for not giving in. That is a big achievement. Keep going

Waves to all you wonderful ladies xx

It's weird but 7 months sober and its beginning to feel dangerous ground. I have been AF for what feels like so long I'm beginning to have conversations in my head which are trying to convince me that I'd be fine with controlled drinking.. I've even managed to convince myself that it's a 1 year challenge - come 2017 I can start drinking again...

Thanks all.

Buono there are many positives - I feel better in the mornings and most importantly don't feel like a slave to alcohol. I am properly paying attention to my kids in the evenings - they are 7 and 10 and one of the things that led me to this point was not wanting them to see and replicate my unhealthy dependence on alcohol. I don't feel ashamed on a daily basis that I can't self regulate.

How do I feel? Well one of the reasons I told myself I drank habitually was to 'switch off' from daily life - work, small kids, feeling fat and unattractive, DH pretty much absent Mon-Fri due to work. The last six weeks has highlighted to me just how much of that script was written by the wine witch. I would like to not be thinking about NOT drinking but recognise that this is part of recovery and resetting my life.

Thanks all for the perspective - this is now the longest dry period I've had since DD2 was under 1, so in 6 years. I do remember this point when I gave up smoking in 1998 - the acceptance that this is a permanent change was difficult and as misscookie says boooooooring but the first few weeks of quitting smoking was so horrible that I reasoned that I really didn't want to go through it again.

Morning, I'm here . Looks like a nice day to tackle the garden.

Well done Buono! I'm here too :) packing for the very long camping trip. First sober holiday away!

Lawn mowed and weeding done, I was trying to give up smoking today too. I've had a three week relapse after seven years off. I think its another indicator of how self destructive I've been lately. I'm having a cigarette but no wine. Maybe quitting two things in one day wasn't the best plan. Will try not to use smoking as a replacement though.

glad enjoy your trip, I cant wait for my week off, hopefully you get the good weather.

Misscookie I'm at 7 months too. 28th December was the last time I had a drink. I got absolutely hammered as per usual.
You're right, you are on dangerous ground and I completely understand where you're coming from because so am I..... It's that bitch wine witch trying it on with us again.
There is no bloody way that I'm going to let her win, absolutely no chance. I can't moderate, I know that. I wish I could but I can't. If I give in now, it will be so much worse next time around.
Come on miss, we can do this, we can ride this out. It might take a little while but it will pass.
WW is not having me, I'm having her

I stopped 16th Dec ( finally!) for the very same reason. A totally appalling binge involving vast amounts of FOG and Shame. Never ever again, I hope. Life is SO much better now, even with PAWS and having had one evening lapse of a glass of wine a few months back.
have to be honest, slightly worried about camping trip - but have downloaded lots of sober tools ( blogs, books, audios) and made sure I have them offline so even if I have no connection I will manage. Also crafts and sober treats packed ( and a few bottles AF wine and beer!)
Koko lovely sober worriors and see you in a few weeks time. I may get to post but probably not as I am going really off grid and wild camping some of the time :)

What does koko mean please?