Dry 14

[glad2016]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.
Go sober warriors !

Thanks Bigfat it feels really cathartic to write it all down here to strangers with similar battles. I do have some good rl friends but I've talked to them loads about it in the past, don't want to bring them down they all have their own problems in life. I do have my DH and we spoke a bit about it yesterday, he was lovely which did make me feel more guilty but today is a new day and I just need to keep looking forward and stop dwelling.

I don't usually go out much but have been to a couple of BBQ's and away for a weekend with friends over the holidays. Have a wedding to go to in 3 weeks, most people there know of my drink battles but have seen me moderate well in recent times but I saw the advert for Dry September for Cancer Research so I'm just going to say I am doing that and I am, not going to get sponsors but going to donate the money I would have spent on drink, another incentive to kick this in the ass!

Cancelled a couple of appointments I had today, nothing important and rearranged but just feel like I want to stay away from people for a couple of days, lick my wounds and think this all through. Been keeping busy this morning labeling and taking up trousers etc on the kids new uniforms, oh the joys!

Hi all, thank you for your lovely welcome and wishing strength to those struggling.

Like you False I'm having a few days just alone with the children as I really don't feel like seeing anyone right now (even though I'm usually a very social soul!). I'm on Day 2 and my body really does not feel healthy right now, but I'm sure that will come. I'm just going to try and eat and sleep well, plus drink lots of water and take vitamins to allow my body to recover.

Recently I've been drinking a bottle of wine most days, and then more on a night out/weekend. I've put on a stone since earlier this year despite generally eating okay and going to the gym sometimes, and even though I'm fairly slim I have a rather hefty wine belly right now- lovely!

I'm actually quite excited and relieved that I've finally told DH just how much of a struggle the old drink has been. I'm genuinely looking forward to sober birthdays, Christmas, (some) nights out, our holiday in October. I remember the past two Christmases were crazy, just a blur of constant booze rammed down my throat because 'it's the party season' and so therefore I MUST drink... by NY I was ruined. I don't think it will be easy for me at all, as like lots of people after a few days/weeks the memory of the hideous hangovers subsides and that's when I'm at danger point. Anyone further down the road got any tips for dealing with that?

My problem is I 'rewarded' myself with a drink however I felt- happy and productive day? Have a drink to celebrate, you deserve it! Shit and stressful day/week? Have a drink to make you feel better!

I lead a lovely life, so don't drink to drown my sorrows, I just drink... It's basically a nasty habit for me and has been since I was about 15, being conditioned by friends and family that it's the only way to socialise and unwind.

Sorry for the ramble, but it helps to get it all down.

Strong hope you feel better as the day goes on. Pick yourself up and start again.

Strong those thoughts of what have I done/said are awful. You have done well and got out the house with your dc though so feel good about that.

Hi scallopy i think sometimes it can help if you can take a couple of days out of life if work etc allows it, to just reset and get back on track. Like you I am quite a sociable person but I do need my alone time anyway in life but needing it more so after the other night. Kid's are playing nicely in the garden and I'm pottering about

When I first quit I did find the first few weeks/month or so hard as like you say the memories and feelings subside and you start to think "oh I'll be ok if I just have one or two". I just had to keep hammering the fact in to myself that yes whilst it may be the first time or second etc.. at some point it just won't be.

Hi all and welcome to all the new people, it is so lovely to "see" you There is no way I can name check you all as there are so many....which is a wonderful, wonderful thing.

I've been Dry since 28th December 2015..... I just had to stop. Stop the endless blackouts, the falls, the feeling absolutely shit, the anxiety, the panic attacks, the shame.... All and everything that you have all described.

scallopy like you, for me, drinking was a long held very bad habit.
The best tip I can give you and anyone else is to find something else that you want to do more than you want to drink. For me, it's getting up early, feeling fantastic and having time to meditate/go for a run/workout DVD/long walk and just basically "having" a Sunday morning....me time really....
Another good tip that everyone here shares is to "play the tape forward" that does help.
My own personal recommendation is the Andrew Johnson "Quit Drinking" App which you will find if you search for it online. It's for all types of smartphones and tablets. I truly believe that is the one thing that worked for me. I'm still dry 8 months later and goodness knows how, but I honestly do not miss alcohol one bit.... and I've had two sober holidays too and I'm very proud about that....... I cannot recommend it enough and quite a few other posters on here do too.
It's recommended to listen to the app for 3 weeks. You can listen on sleep or wake up mode.

As for anyone feeling ashamed, please stop it right now. It's just pointless. You would be better off using all the energy that it drains into planning your new alcohol free life.
I've stolen this from the Mummywasasecretdrinker blog...."It's not about what happened....it's what happens next....

And that's another tip, read as much sober reading as you can. Blogs, books, whatever you have time to do.

I can honestly say that quitting is the best thing I have ever done. I have never felt as much Joy as I have done these last few months.
Yes, I have had ups and downs but that's life. You cannot possibly feel joy and other lovely feelings, without sometimes feeling sadness and other not so nice feelings...

Good luck all of you and KOKO sober warriors

Guilt is a useless emotion I know but a hard one to shake! I've been in contact with the lovely woman from AA and I know I won't drink tonight phew.

I've enjoyed reading the 'mummy was a secret drinker' too.

Good luck and strength to all of you

bigfat I think it's common to have a mourning period if you like, of facing up to a future as a non drinker... now I feel positive about it but at first it was hard. I can imagine Christmas Day sober now, for example. You're doing really well and I know what you mean about time with children being better without drink. Good work.

Hi GOTTA LOVE, yeh it is like mourning, isn't it? Learning to live/cope without.

Good luck to everyone trying tonight!

Choc - how are you doing?

Moderation is a difficult one - we are all here because we have got to a point where moderation feels impossible. Most of us have had periods of abstinence and then went back to old ways within days/weeks/months.

There is a long running thread on moderation on MN - I chose to join this one because I felt a better fit with where I wanted to be.

Please stay, and work past your blip. Think about how much you would have drunk in the period you were AF if it helps you to feel that it was valuable (I am sitting next to around 60 invisible bottles of wine that I haven't drunk.)

I've come to this thread so many times today and every time I've been dragged away by children/lunch/dh/front door gaah! I wasn't even able to finish this sentence without a 20 minute hiatus.

How am I going to find time to self care is beyond me!

Hope everyone's getting on well, day 3 here and I'm knackered but no cravings so that's as bonus.

Lou welcome back! Think we're starting a new autumn term now. First weekers unite!

I'm ok, I have a wedding to go to on Friday but I do plan not to drink or to get drunk, I know that If I have to much I will feel Shame. But I really don't know if I'm going to be able to sit there all day with booze going around. I'm a bit of un a whirlwind with life things are stressful and don't know where my heads at. I know I had that bottle last week but u havnt craved it the way I have done in the past.

The moderation thread is the Brave Babes one here in relationships too, pretty long running one. I actually did join it many years back, well before this one even started but it didn't work for me. I cannot moderate and find reading about those that can do quite triggering and makes me want a drink. It seems to work for lots of posters however.

Well done on three days motherr and the rest of thefirst weekers.

Good on you for being proactive strong, are you going for a meeting in the next few days then? I agree guilt is a useless emotion. You mend what you can from previous mistakes and move on, the only way to use it productively is as a lesson.

Things have settled down here now my dc have started back at school happy dance. I'm finding it hard to shake my complete and utter exhaustion however. Any time from 3pm and I could close my eyes and sleep. Not sure if it's stopping drinking or smoking but it's becoming quite irritating as I'm usually a bundle of energy that can't sit still.

Cravings tonight but something has come up between dp and I that requires a some talking through and a tiny bit stressful. I've always found it hard to open up and talk about emotions without a glass of wine in me, then it's no problem. Instinctly I've automatically thought about pouring myself a glass a few times tonight. Luckily there is none in the house. Day 25 drawing to a close.

Just wanted to say I have got through day 2. It's been hard -I've spent most of the day thinking about things I have done when drunk or not done because I was hungover etc. reading this post has been a great help. Xx

Well done on 25 days tattoos especially with having cravings tonight.

Just a thought but a good few months back I was really struggling with tiredness especially from mid afternoon onward's it went on for a while, had some blood tests done and found out my Vit D and Iron were low, went on a course of tablets for both and I was soon back to myself again. Maybe worth going to the docs perhaps?

Well done on two days Alison . The way I look at it now, every single person on this planet has regrets, it's the changes we make from them that counts. I hope tomorrow brings a better for you.

Thanks Falsenails, I'll definitely bear that in mind and hit the gp if it continues by next week. Hate feeling so drained and I'm sleeping well now so shouldn't be. I think I remember going through a really tired phase after stopping smoking before, my body maybe adjusting to not running off it's usual scandalous amount of nicotine? Will hunt out my multi v and start taking them too in the meantime.

On that note, night all

Night night tattoo.

Well done on 25 days.

Beautiful words like I feel so utterly grateful I finally found the path to freedom. I now live a life of grace and love. It has taken me a good while to feel this way - I'm now 8 months sober and its taken a good 6 to feel the way I do now. My advice is to just put one foot in front of the other and do whatever works for you. Xxx ps thanks for posting strong and I hope you feel better real soon

Well done all the lovely new people here. I can recommend Headspace app for calming the brain chatter and also Andrew Johnson stop drinking app for , well , not drinking. On day 250 plus now . Done lots of big chunks of sobriety before, lapsed and got straight back on it again with help of this thread, Belle, Lucy, Sober Sassy Life and lots of other sober blogs. Koko sober warriors xxx

Thanks cookie and glad and on continued sobriety. Day 76 and tbh the last few days have been a bit twitchy. I seem to be thinking a LOT about not drinking- but at one point yesterday realised that I was hungry )early evening), tired (1st day back at work, drove 300 miles on Tuesday) and a little lonely (DH away until late Friday).

Still umming about going to AA.

Good to hear from you strong and welcome to everyone in their first weeks.

Good morning to everyone. Well here to my day 3. Didn't sleep very well last night - was having some really vivid dreams. Have just promised to work Sunday and Monday night so I can't drink those days and I really can't let this person down. I've put on my Facebook that I'm doing a 'sober September' and had lots of encouragement from friends. Both my parents died in this month so usually it just passes by in a blur but I'm determined this year it will be different. Hope everyone has a lovely day no matter what number they are on xxx

hello everyone and well done to those racking up their first days.

I am tired and my neck hurts and I am in a shitty mood because I have meetings at work all day today and I hate them. But it is sunny and I am not hungover. :)

Morning everyone

I'm a bit tired as I woke at 5.40am but hey I went right back to sleep
I had a good day y'day. Went to my very first "MeetUp" and even stayed for a drink (soda water and lime!)

Challenge today - first work event with wine. Yikes.

Determined to clock up another AF day - day 24

Morning!

I know what you mean, OnePillow Terrible night sleep here but tired is so much easier when not hungover

UpYerGansey some wise person on here once advised me to be prepared when going to a drinking event. Have a couple of choices if drinks in your head so you don't get caught out if the bar tenders announce they have no lime/soda/ginger ale.
If you're wobbling, get your phone out and post here, there'd so many lovely people with the best advice and motivation on tap (so to speak!).

Alison I've always seen September as a month of promise. I think it's a hangover from school days. So sorry to hear it's a difficult month for you. I'm sure your parents would be proud of what you're doing so do your 'Sober September' with pride.

Morning All,

Tired too, just woke up! DD1 had me up watching flicks again last night then I struggled to go to bed. Don't know why I'm so scared of sleep.

Back to work next week (term time job) so looking forward to that. Back into routine and being knackered from it will be a good thing.

Made it through without a hitch. Made myself go to offy to buy more lemonade. Had a little wobble when I read on a different thread that op was gonna have a g&t, which I like but has never been 'my' drink.

So, I've completed day 2. Phew!

Good afternoon all and well done everyone.

Feeling a bit better in myself and not beating myself too much today in fact I'm starting to see it as a good thing in a way as it just goes to show that after so long sober and then moderating that drink is just not for me, it was just a ticking time bomb that took a long time to go off!

Was texting a friend a friend earlier about a meet up with the kids and half way through she asked if I was ok, it wasn't the usual how are you guys etc so I think she may have seen the incoherent posts I put on fb May just be me being a bit paranoid but it was just the way she asked. Just breezily said I was good because you know what I don't want to talk about it, it won't solve anything I've been there too many times before and just ended up feeling more guilt and awkwardness around people.

I know I've messed up and I can and will deal with this, I have my DH to lean on if needed but at the moment I'm feeling repulsed by the thought of touching a drop, maybe in a week or two that may change but I will deal with that then, just going to take each day at a time for now.

Glad you have a plan for the month Alison so sorry September is a bad month for you

Sending positive thoughts and best wishes to you all.

Sorry too that September is difficult for you ALISON. Maybe you might be able to turn that into a positive way to get through , as in 'do it for them '. They'd be so proud. (I'm a believer in after life as I've had a few spooky experiences prior to my dad passing, so I'm sure he's able to see me). X