Dry 14

[glad2016]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.
Go sober warriors !

I understand completely. There were times towards the end of my drinking that I was browsing AA sites and sober blogs, crying about my drinking, and still, while I was doing all that, getting pissed and drinking wine at an alarming, compulsive rate. I do understand.

You're not a bad person. You are a good person with an unhelpful coping mechanism that you are getting a handle on. It isn't going to happen overnight: if it was that easy, it wouldn't be a problem, would it?

You are OKAY.

Sneaks back in. I fell off the wagon for the whole summer and now back to day 1 again

Waves to all

Thanks for being so understanding. I'm going to text the woman I met at AA later. See if I can talk to her.

So, onto some strong tea and a hot shower then.

Welcome back loubilou . Happy sober days ahead.

Up and at em, Strong Tea

Ask for help from this woman. Shame is corrosive and you don't need to be ashamed. You don't need to do this anymore, and you don't need to beat yourself up about it anymore either. Be very very gentle with yourself.

Welcome lou

strong tea hugs to you. You will move on from this. Take care today.
Well it appears my body no longer likes to sleep. Always have been insomnia but last night I want to bed at 1am, daughter woke me at 2 whining it was too dark, woke at 6 then got up and walked to shops in sunshine and have been pottering with cups of tea since. Nice to have peace and quiet to myself.

Tea, it could have been any one of us here. You had a wobble and its kind of an "in for a penny" situation sometimes, no?
Take good care of yourself. It's gonna be ok (hug)

Hi loubilou how long were you sober before?

strong don't be hard on yourself please The fact you've come back and posted her straight away is good - we will support you. Please call the woman you met at AA - she'll be able to provide extra support for you in rl. Plenty of water today, eat your favourite food. Have you thought about writing (not a blog necessarily could just be personal) about it - why you did it, how you felt, what you'd do different next time ? It might help - and you can read it back for strength the next time you find yourself in that position.

Welcome lou

Thanks everyone. It's so comforting to hear.
gotta me and dd were up early too and going to head out to the park cafe for some tea and something sweet and completely inappropriate for a toddlers breakfast!

yellowlamb I haven't written much for years . I could give it a whirl. I've really enjoyed reading some of the sober blogs.

Welcome all the "newbies" and well done for joining us on this supportive thread, whatever your circumstances. Everyone here is in the same boat, we all know how hard staying dry is ! And I've never seen a negative comment from anyone here. Day 20 for me, and I have family staying. No wine in the house and I did mention that I was "trying to give up drinking" before they arrived. My dad said, "oh good, I'm not meant to be drinking" (recovering from an op) and mum doesn't drink that often. She wants to get some wine today though, and dad polished off the dregs of some scotch we found in the cupboard last night ...a wedding present from 25 years ago....I don't like scotch ! So this evening will be harder. I know if we had had any wine in the house a few bottles would now be in the recycling bin. I felt a bit mean having none to offer though, but I'm not ready to have a bottle in the cupboard in case of visitors. Time to be selfish for once. Stay strong everyone, sorry I don't post that often, but I do always read the posts and they do give me strength.

Hi YELLOW, the special drinks was a winner. I do feel proud, yes, as I can't believe I managed to get past day 1! I feel 100% than I would have if i had of drank last night! Thank you.

Hi SCALLOPY I just did day one too!!

Hi TATTOOS . The nice drinks definitely worked last night. I decided to not taper and luckily for me to I've not experienced (yet) any withdrawal other than craving. Thanks for your advice.

Hi everyone else.

Sorry if I've not responded to anyone. I'm using a smartphone and in finding it difficult scrolling up n down n stuff!! Ha ha.

I wouldn't have got through yesterday without the support of this thread so thanks to you all.

well done bigfat. Now you're fresh as a daisy and into day 2. How do you feel? Did you sleep well?

for bigfat special drinks do work well. I'm going to buy some today. That first dry day is amazing because until you do it it just doesn't seem achievable.

Thanks WHITE!! It feels amazing to be into day 2. I had a late night (energy drinks have to be addressed at some point) and coz I had no beer to help me sleep (knock me out) I inevitably started to think about my dad and his demise but I got through it (and this morning I saw a white feather when I took the dog out for a wee). So I guess it served as a reminder that my dad wouldn't want me to be in this mess and would want me to be free of drink. I guess it's finally time to address the things I find hard/scarey instead of masking them.

And yes, I feel fresh!!! And I love it! Thank you!

Morning all,

Thanks for all the kind supportive messages and welcome to fellow newbies.

I'm still in shock and guilt mode this morning from Monday night, sounds pathetic really but it has really come out of the blue, I've not woken up in a panic and totally clueless about a nights drinking for over 3 years,. In the last 6 months I've had a few times when I've been out and woke up feeling a bit rough cringing a bit but had no memory loss or drama's (and there has been many of those in the past). I just can't get my head around the fact I just drank and drank! No triggers I can see, the only thing I can can think of is that I came on that day and had pmt, so that may have skewered my thinking perhaps along with getting cocky to the fact that I've been drinking more and been fine, who knows but it's just a huge shock and wake up call. I know I'm rambling and it's all self pity so please ignore if you want to, should probably start writing stuff down privately.

Choc good luck with whatever you choose to do but I managed 12 months of just one drink at special occasions after 18 months sobriety and then the last 6 months drinking more but watering drink down with soda or tonic etc realising when I was becoming tipsy and stopping mostly but here I am!

Big hugs strongtea I'd say don't beat yourself up but a bit rich from me as that's exactly what I'm doing to myself I'd have been no use to my DC if they had needed me either, thankfully my husband would have but that's not the point, feel guilty as hell.

yellow I came to the same conclusion when I first stopped, I just didn't like the AF stuff so just had sparkling water or just tea/coffee. Always found it hard on social occasions as I just drink like a fish no matter what the beverage, noticed I can drink 2/3 cokes to everyone's one alcholic, used to come back bloated as hell. I'm the same with AF drinks at home.

Tattoos no idea about combating the resentment, it's not just with drink I just have low self esteem along with a mental illness, had various therapy over the years. Only thing I found that helped a little was Mindfullness which I haven't been practicing recently so will make a big effort to do that.

Sorry for the epic post, wish you all well with your own battles

Hi STRONGTEA, thanks for the star!! I really thought I'd find an excuse (& I nearly i and nearly did and I kept on having to stop myself and I swear to God without this thread, I would have.

Me and the kids all had a special drink (the kids had straws too) but the hard (heartsinkingly sad bit) was that my 10 year old assumed mine was with vodka. That's a hard pill to swallow. She's at an age now that she's aware of what I'm doing. I don't want her to remember or look back and say my mum was a drinker. We went on to watch movies and eat pizza drinking our sophisticated drinks a d when I put her to bed I said I've had a really nice time tonight and she smiled and said yeh, me too. These are the memories i want my kids to have. If I'd have had a drink it wouldn't have happened.

I feel great and for the sake of my kids, and myself, I pray I can do this.

That's brilliant news BigFat so glad you resisted and had a lovely night with your kiddies

Hiya. FALSENAILS. Sorry you are going through all this. I guess it just crept back up on you. As much as I want to be able to drink socially (not that I ever go out but I hope to in the future), I'm pretty certain that I'm one of the ones who won't be able to do that. I'm gutted by that.
Your post wasn't self pitying either, it's saying it how it is & that's what I cool about this thread; that we can share our thoughts and feelings. I don't know about you but I have nowhere else to share it (although I just told my mum at the weekend and she's been cool, BUT, she doesn't understand it). Here is the place to vent and say it out loud, altho via the keyboard , and to share with ur virtual friends , least that's how I see it.

Is cool not I.

If anyone's feeling tempted today just play it forward to the hangover. I'm stuck in the playground too sick to play with dd, feeling down wondering what I might have said or done and unable to enjoy the weather. Sober days are so much better.

Big hug strongtea, most if not all of us have been there. Nothing to be ashamed about. I too have done the same thing, fall off the wagon that night and decide to press that fuck-it, self destruct button hard and I drink anything in sight to oblivion. Be kind to yourself today, lots of water, get your vitamins into you and calling the AA woman sounds like a great idea. Hope you have a lovely day with your dd