Dry 14

[glad2016]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.
Go sober warriors !

Welcome longterm - you sound very like me. The support here is wonderful. I am glad you have joined. You can do this. Keep posting

gotta it's a blip and it sounds as if you have learned a lot from it. Well done for stopping when you did and for pouring that glass away. Hunger is a strong trigger for me. I wrote about it here: http://sothisissober.com/index.php/2016/05/23/372/

Sorry I can't nc everyone - it has been so busy on here but hugs to everyone who has been struggling - Friday nights are really tough.

Day 150 for me today.

Thank you vxa2. I feel better having done something positive.

Can anyone recommend the best AF beers and wine. Or is that going about it the wrong way and not really acknowledging the problem?

longterm WELCOME!

There's a lot of people here who like Becks Blue. I bought six of them a couple of weeks ago, just to try. I liked the taste - rather too much as I drank all of them in about an hour and a half. There is no booze in them, but obviously that compulsive drinking streak is still with me and personally, I didn't want to fan the flame with fake booze. Other people just like one or two now and again so it works really well for them. I think I've I'd have tried them early on, it would have prompted me into the hard stuff so it might be worth avoiding for a couple of weeks?

onewhite Thank you! Maybe I'll try the Fever Tree tonic tonight instead. See...I'm already thinking about what I will drink later. Will try and keep busy today

Thanks for the support

Morning everyone, day 14 for me today and feel slightly less miserable just a bit empty! We went to the pub last night and I was considering having a wine but had an af San Miguel was very nice, I didn't miss not drinking even surrounded by everyone else I just feel a bit deflated.

We are off alpaca walking later with DC so hope that cheers me up not getting on too well with DH at the moment so need to sort that too.

Hello longterm I can recommend San Miguel but are quite expensive becks blue is not bad with a touch of lime, I have found it has eased my cravings does not work for everyone, I can relate to what you say, alcohol definatley made my depression worse, I can see things clearly now and how to help myself, the self loathing is awful, also yes yes to the sweating all gone now though good luck. This thread and support on here is amazing I have felt tempted at times and have posted and people have kindly supported me through, hope we can do the same for you.

What is everyone up to today? one how are things with DH? Do you think you might start counselling?
gotta been there too! Day 1 today you can do this!! I found my blip taught me I can't moderate I need to go af so in a way it helped me, that was exactly 2weeks ago, I had my last 2.5 bottles of wine . Have a great sober day everyone.

Things are okay lily thanks for asking - and congratulations on your 14 days! I know what you mean about that deflated feeling. The beginning is really tough - you are taking something away, and don't quite have the strength yet to find something to replace it with. That it what it was like for me, anyway.

We are planning to go to counselling but it will have to wait until the kids are back at school - just a couple of weeks. I'm finding him really hard to like at the moment. When I ask him not to speak to me a certain way, he ignores what I've asked and brings up something I've done to annoy him (he'll go back a long way too!) and we end up talking about whatever historical thing I've done wrong, rather than my request for him to stop - for example - being sarcastic or doing impressions of me when he's annoyed. I'm just getting a lot of resentment and contempt from him at the moment - leaking out of him - but he won't actually admit to it, or say what the real problem is. I am very angry at him right now and I don't like being around him, so I am taking the kids for a day out today and leaving him to it.

I feel very vulnerable to drinking again right now, which is why I have stepped up on the yoga and meditation. I am clutching at things really: anything to help because I really don't want to go back there.

I hear you re the drinking, I'm not really speaking to DH mch as he irritates me! I could really have a drink.

Sounds like you need counselling your DH sounds rather unhelpful at the moment, you both need to let resentment go, you can't change the past you can only let it affect your future together. I assume you want to stay together? Have a great day.

Well done for not letting your slip become a slide gotta, twas a blip as everyone else has said. You've also identified a trigger and know how to tackle it better next time. I have suffered badly with the fuck-its in the past, it's the one thing I'm very wary about now.

Welcome longterm, at one point I thought I was hitting early menopause as I woke up so many nights drenched in sweat and having to change pjs and bed linen. Now I can see it was alcohol. I don't miss that, yuck.

I like the becks blue myself, sometimes I put a dash of lime in it, sometimes not. I can just drink one or two and not feel the need for any more. Try different things and see what works for you. I like the fevertree tonic, some bottlegreen cordials with fizzy water, ginger ales, lime and soda and have quite a collection of green teas (love the gingerbread one) and flavoured coffees now.

vxa 150 is very impressive, go you!!

Enjoy your walk today lilyben, could you imagine having to tackle it if you'd had wine last night? Really well done.

3 weeks today. Plan to clean house, iron and name tag school uniforms any task more exciting for Monday and dp coming over to stay tonight, so a nice chilled-out-movie-junk-food night. Have no idea if she is planning to bring wine, usually does, bit wary of that but I have to face it eventually. After feeling so good and confident the last week, the sunny Saturday cravings are begining to kick in.

Have a good day everyone.

oh god. NAME TAGS.

Well, I will be in a sweet, happy mood today and 'reward' myself by ironing in name tags while sulking this evening.

haha!

Welcome longterm, you will find the strength to be sober through the amazing support here. Hugs- you've found the right place.
Had a lovely swim just now. I find it helps me to relax a lot.

Hey longterm welcome. I only joined a couple of weeks ago but everyone here has been so supportive and given me more strength than I ever could have had on my own.

I did day 1 of the yoga challenge this morning one - it was good! I found it quite hard as different to what I usually do but I enjoyed it

Hello everyone! Thanks for the 81 days congrats!
Well. Came home last night after a night out deciding to talk to DH about giving up sobriety. I can honestly say that was the first time I had seriously given it more than a minutes serious consideration. Why is it suddenly so hard again? Will I ever be free of the little voice? DH also struggling so it must be something to do with post holiday blues.
Welcome Longterm. You sound like me. I will say one thing- don't know if I should- but for me I thought drinking was the cause of all my problems and that stopping would solve them. It turned out that drinking was just an escape from the problems (though clearly it added to them a bit) Turns out that I am still anxious and depressed- life still feels pointless but I am living in hope that at some point my sober brain will recover and level out my serotonin levels and that even if it's still shit it isn't as utterly awful and hopeless as it was when I was drinking and that something better awaits me in the future.
I don't know...maybe I should go back on anti depressants - I feel so miserable.
Have we got our copies of Life after Life? Does anyone know how many of us are doing it?

Hello everyone and welcome all. Another week gone, my 2nd AF. I have to say I think I'm settling in to it now, and have stopped thinking about drink quite so often. It is everywhere though, isn't it ? Impossible to avoid. I went to the cinema with DD last night (wouldn't have done that after opening a bottle on a "normal" Friday !). There were 3 ads for booze before the film and loads during the film ("bad moms", so not surprising). It did make me see that if you're not drinking you might feel you're missing out on the fun, but I could also see that that's wrong. I think my generation have grown up with drinking as the normal way to live. Neither of my teenagers is interested in drinking (thankfully) so maybe things are gradually changing, and not drinking will become the new norm, like not smoking.
Got home late, got up bright and early for a nice sunny dog walk. Who mentioned name tags ? I can remember my mum got our embroidered sew in tags with the first initials of us 3 kids, so she could use the same tags for all of us. Very frugal. My friend had fancy ones with her full name and a flower...I was jealous ! That's the 70s for you ! Now we just write on the labels with a biro ! I am still enjoying my increased chocolate intake ! Eep it up everyone.

*Keep it up, not eep it up (sounds fun !)

Hi everyone,
Big congrats on the 81 days pimpernella I'm sorry you feel miserable.

Well done gotta on recovering from the blip. That's all it was and you can come back from it untarnished.

Welcome lonmterm hmm, low self worth, loneliness yep sounds like a running theme for quite a few of us. You are not alone.

tattoos good luck for those Saturday cravings and on three weeks.

onewhite sorry thighs are still hard. I hope you and the children enjoy a peaceful weekend.

My post above was number 666 and that's sent my superstitious behaviour on high alert so posting again (yes I'm an idiot)!

I'm all set for oil club and have life after life exept I'm away all bank holiday and I've left it at home

I looked at life after life in the airport but bought another Kate Atkinson book instead. Ah well, will have to catch you up.
Name tapes- my daughtr is going in to year 1. I started off with lovely game tapes when she began year R but she outgrew everything so quickly I did biro on the label after that!
Just had lunch at pool bar. Staff know us from buying ice cream every day so gave us complimentary cava after lunch. I literally walked away! Minor triumph.

That's no minor triumph!
Well done. Free fizzy booze in your face and you walked away

Thanks strong tea! It felt really good!
www.hipsobriety.com/home/2015/11/1/what-i-do-for-sober-fun
Interesting blog post, not sure if it's been referenced before here but I liked it.

things not thighs, book not oil!

I like the sound of oil club......

Huge well done gotta. I posted a lot early on about dealing with free booze situations - you did brilliantly.

Thank you lizzytea. I have access to booze at the moment but am choosing not to drink. Had a lovely family evening and laughed a lot with the children, didn't rush the bedtime story, cherished them a bit more. If I was pissed id be shooing them off to bed. Much better this way.

Hi longterm I drink alcohol free beer, however this was only after 6 months sober and I felt a lot safer in my resolve.. it's a very personal choice - some posters feel it's a trigger but some are fine. If your newly sober I'd prob wait - but again up to you and how you feel. Hoegaarden do a 0% AF beer which is supposed to be v good and then Erdinger do a 0.5% one which is great.

very well done gotta - it is bloody hard sometimes, but you are owning this.

strongtea thighs are indeed hard - just finished day three of my 30 days of yoga (!!).

DH and I are rubbing along okay. Very distant at the moment, but polite enough. I feel sad, but okay.

patchwork I've noticed booze everywhere too. I think my perspective on it has changed a lot these past few weeks: I see that I drank much more than most people, that it was never enough, and that booze and sugar are forced at people more or less constantly.

pimp how are you? Still having a hard time? Come and join me in 30 days of yoga if you like. How did the conversation with DH go? Are you really thinking about going back to drinking, moderating, or something else, or was it just a weak moment? No judgement here. I guess you know for sure that booze isn't going to sort out anxiety and depression and will probably make it worse, or at least diminish the effects of any good things you do for yourself. Did anti-Ds work for you in the past?

I think I am going to bow out of book club this time. I have a deadline for work this week that involves masses and masses of reading and I will probably be booked-out for the next couple of weeks.

yellowlamb thanks for being my yoga buddy! How are you finding it so far?

I am on day three - headspace meditation after the yoga each time. I am sort of enjoying it, and sort of feeling crap at it, and disliking my body and how stiff and creaky it is, and not liking not really knowing what to do, and feeling awkward. I'm also noticing how critical and judgemental I am towards myself, and what an undercurrent of sadness and hopelessness there is going on for me right now. I am not loving all this, but I am hoping that noticing it is the first step to developing a bit of compassion and care for myself and my body. I think that's really key for me and linked to my drinking - and something I want to use the yoga and meditation to work on.

glad are you a yoga person to? Do you have any tips for me to develop balance? (I don't mean this philosophically - I mean, how to stand on one leg for more than five seconds...)