Dry 14

[glad2016]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.
Go sober warriors !

Well done lilyben, you've shown real strength today you

That's no angel on your shoulder Yellow Fidgety myself today. Ds isn't well, bad cold but as he has brittle asthma it always goes for his chest and I couldn't really leave the house. I did gardening, washing, spraying weeds, cleared and sorted dc's wardrobe, prepped dinner for tomorrow night, cleaned house and cleared out my shed. I better sleep well tonight after all that Can you make a plan to get out and about this weekend?

Only realised I was a day ahead of myself. 20 days is tomorrow. I must have checked my sober counter later than I thought last night, as in post 12am rather than pre. Ah well.

I went back to the very beginning of this thread last night and read another one that's on page 3.
It's a long, sad, inspiring in parts thread. 7 years old now, but I wonder - does anyone know if BrassicMonkey made it? I was in tears at times reading her thread.

Yellow I had lots of days like that early on - before making the decision to go AF I would open a bottle of wine pretty much as soon as I got home. I would be telling myself on my way home from work 'yes, yes, tonight I won't drink'. And then I did.

My kids are too young to leave alone in the house and my DH is often not home until late or travelling so going for a walk/run until cravings pass isn't an option.

I think the key for me is to have made a meaningful promise to someone. For too long I was making the promise to the wine witch, who was of course not going to support me.

I did sober October a few years ago and raised £800.

This year...I (mostly) did dry January and then found the online soberverse- so at first my promise was to my DH and to this group. So like you, I would come on here, read, sometimes post and come away better for it.

I would say that at some point I've realised that a lasting promise has to be to me - my real self who wants to be there for her kids and partner and not alcohol dependent.

(It's a beautiful day here with sparkling sunshine and wonderful sea views so forgive the pink cloudy nature of this post!)

Call outs to all and KOKO

Aaaahhhh feeling fed up of this no drinking malarkey now - day 26 and this is my first real wobble. I'm feeling a bit like Yellow describes yesterday, just agitated and wishing I hadn't started this whole thing. I've promised myself to get to day 100 but that seems impossibly silly now, and so far off with several potential drinking events coming up before then.

And breathe - planning a chippy tea as a Friday treat, am also aware that I'm feeling hungry (skipped lunch today) and tired, DS has been ill the past couple of days and I'm feeling like I could be starting with it, or am just worn out from looking after him and the school holidays. I logically know that drinking won't make me feel better, and ultimately will make me feel worse (still feel grumpy about it though!). Will have tea and then a couple of alcohol-free wines, watch tele then get a good night's sleep.

Have a good Friday and Bank Hol everyone - going to try my best to KOKO

tattoos and lizzy thanks for empathising you made me feel better. Today I was still the same - but probably because it's the Friday before the bank hol so normally I would be racing home to open the wine for 3 nights heavy drinking.

I'd planned to play tennis straight from work - and even though I was dreading it and couldn't be bothered it actually did me the world of good and got rid of most of the fidgety I want a drink feelings. I did a kettle bell workout when I got home and I'm now going to take the dogs out - and honestly am back to looking forward to my juice tonight and a nice tea. I think exercise may be a good antidote for me - and think as hadn't done any since Sunday that probably contributed to last nights mither.

jelly keep strong. 100 days is a very big challenge - just break it down - one day at a time and tackle those social events one at a time. It'll seem more realistic and achievable if you can break it down into little chunks. Enjoy your Chippy tea - I am jealous ! envy

Hope everyone else is having a good evening

Smiley fail !

Hello everyone.

I am back and still here and still sober. 81 days today for me and pimp.

I am really enjoying reading your posts and just hoping to be able to offer some of the support I received in the early days.

I have decided to start 30 days of yoga. I did day one yesterday - and realised, all the way through it, I was mentally beating myself up for being crap at it, for being stiff and awkward and clumsy, for sweating and finding it hard work. Honestly - the thoughts going on in my head were horrible. I can't say I enjoyed my session, but it did bring home to me how critical and judgemental and perfectionist I am towards myself (and others too, if I am honest). I am sure this is an attitude that some of us share and that has contributed to our drinking.

I've decided to carry on with the rest of the 29 days but try not to be such a neurotic high achiever about it...

Does anyone else here do yoga or meditation?

Hey one well done on 91 days!

I do iyenga yoga but only get to a class every other week or so cos of work (and then feel guilty!) so a 30 day challenge sounds good I'll join you if you don't mind ?

Do you have to do it for a set amount of time each day or certain poses ?

Hi Yellow!

I am doing this one:

The first two practices have been about half an hour each - though she does say the instructions pretty fast so I've been making them last longer by pausing in-between. You're probably more experienced so it might be too easy for you?

Just done day two and I've got a sweat on!

Yellow since you mentioned exercise it made me realise that I've done considerably less exercise than normal this week because DS was poorly so I've missed my exercise classes - maybe that contributed to my cravings and general feelings of grottiness?

I'm officially full of fish and chips now and couldn't even fit a drink in my belly even if I wanted to (which I don't!)

upyer it was me who posted that thread - about Brassic Monkey. It made me cry too. I hope where-ever she is, she's okay.

Fantastic on the 81 days one and Pimp.

I've done meditation classes before but I found it very difficult as I'm a restless fidgety sort, result was I gave them up. Heard a lot of people recommending the Headspace app.

I'd love to be able to get back into exercise, starting pilates classes myself in two weeks with the hope it will help my pain. Gp said it should do so willing to give it a whirl.

Jelly it really is coming to that time of the summer that we are burned. Here there is 8/9 weeks to contend with. Much as I love the dc there is distinct relief they start back on Monday. Looking forward to getting into my routine too, no bickering all day and the house being tidier Yes to the break it down, don't look too far ahead to 100 days, a manageable chunck like the weekend first. Enjoy your chippy.

I'm going through an uber motivated phase at present. Today was getting a new 'big girl's' bed for dd in the hope I can get her into her own bed. Yes she starts pre-school next week and still co-sleeps Usually I would be reaching for the wine tonight anticipating resistance like every other time I've tried to do this but fingers crossed she seems keen hope she stays this way

How're ya onewhite. I too hope to god she got through. It made me so sad that thread, but it forced me to realise how real this stuff is.

That said, I was once again in an absolute DOG of a mood after work today, again because it's Friday night, the sun was shining, the city was buzzing, and I couldn't join in.
I have to admit, if I'd found someone to go drinking with at short notice, I'd have fallen.

I could have gone to my local alone - and I'd've met people but I was damned if I was going to do that.

So home I went, absolutely fuming. Normally I'd sink a bottle on Friday night at home (after a few drinks in town) but felt no desire to do that. So that's something.

I do yoga - (hot yoga). It's my sanity. Try to get to the studio 3 or 4 times a week.

Thanks for listening to me ranting on... Think there's a few of us struggling on here tonight :(

Ps 81 days is .... Just FANTASTIC

upyer I remember that fuming temper - I still get it sometimes. Does it feel like being disgruntled, deprived, like a teenage strop or a toddler throwing a tantrum? That is what it felt like for me. I can't tell you a cure for it - I'm appalling at dealing with my anger - but it definitely happens a bit less often now I have more days under my belt.

tattoos Headspace is what I am using. I got into it last year, then stopped - basically because if I had a drink I couldn't do it, and I never wanted to postpone drinking in the evening so I could do the meditation first. Pathetic, eh? I am glad I don't have to do that to myself anymore and have room to try other things.

lizzytee thank you for your post. I needed to hear - tonight and right now - about making a promise to myself. I am really pissed off with DH. He's been sarcastic and contemptuous towards me today, and yesterday too. I've asked him what is wrong, and he denies there's anything wrong, and rolls his eyes like a teenager. It makes me want to smoke and drink so much - a kind of 'I'll show him' sort of feeling, like me blaming him for drinking would make him feel bad, or hurt him, or something. I have to do this for myself and really, I really really don't want to drink anymore. I am finding it really hard tonight but thinking of making that promise to myself - your words - has really helped me.

Jelly I found this point hard - it was the voice saying "see, you can do a month sober, no problem here is there?"

Good suggestions here - if 100 days seems too far away today, then look to tomorrow, and 26 days is a long way from day 1.

Congrats pimpernella and onewhitepillow!

That's it exactly Lizzy - little voice trying to convince me that I obviously overreacted and I don't have a problem at all Feeling a bit stronger now, thanks all for suggestions x

I do Headspace several times a day plus other meditation - just come back from a 5 day retreat actually :) Also Yoga of various sorts - Adrienne plus a number of classes as and when I can fit them in. All really does help with sobriety

Thanks onewhitepillow

I'm still finding my way too so it means a lot.

Hey one thanks for the link - I'm going to start tomorrow I'll let you know how it goes!

jelly I bet the lack of exercise definitely did contribute to your mood. It definitely contributed to mine - I felt much lighter and relaxed after tennis tonight. I do you tube videos if it's hard to get out - especially the kettle bells - they definitely make me feel like I've had a workout ha !

Tonight my friend has come to stay, who is drinking. I was armed and ready with my juice and it's actually been ok. I was tempted when I poured the first drinks but it went after that - and I've really surprised myself with how I've felt (for the better). It made me realise that as my friend neared the end of her bottle of wine (I was on a brew) I'd have got the vodka out and been tempting her for another drink and another - whereas tonight she's just finished her bottle, I've finished the brew and we've gone to bed.

Feeling pleased - it's the second Friday out of the way - proves I can do it if I out my mind to it

Well done Yellow Lamb. That shows a lot of strength and courage being able to watch your friend drink and abstain.

Bad news here.
Last night I had 2 small glasses of wine. I poured one glass, three it down the sink then poured another and deankbit, then another. Didn't enjoy it at all. Felt sick and hated the tipsy feeling. then tge regret and self loathing. I was hungry and just thought fuck it. Bad decision.
So day 1 today. I'm glad it happened in a tiny way as it reinforces why I'm doing this. Ironically I could stop after a very modest amount which is good. But i didn't enjoy the alcohol so I think next time I'm tempted I can remember this and be stronger.

Poured another and drank it I mean.

Ah gotta don't be too hard on yourself - it's a blip. Throwing the first one away was better than drinking it - and sounds like hunger might be a trigger for you - so at least you can recognise this and be prepared for next time around - and you could stop which is even better ! A new day 1 - onwards and upwards

Thanks Yellow. Terrible night's sleep but ready to start again today.

I've been lurking here for a while but determined that I need to do something. I'm waking every night drenched in sweat, I drink at least a bottle of wine every single night and have done for years.

Ive had enough of having such low self worth. Every thing I hate about myself can probably be attributed back to alcohol. I'm not sure what my triggers are though. I think they used to be loneliness, I have suffered with depression too. But now it's just to take that edge off, or relax. But that doesn't start happening until I'm two glasses in.

I have 2 teenage children and what message am I teaching them?! I clearly cannot moderate what I drink. Once the bottle is open it always goes. The thought of not drinking ever again doesn't terrify me as such, but I know this needs to stop.

I have read so many different similar stories on here and it does give me hope. I know I need help and it worries me.

So day 1 for me and I'll be checking in daily